Poem called Living with disability

Alone In A Packed Room

I sit here in a crowded room feeling empty and alone,

Family, friends, strangers chat and laugh while I hibernate in my own secluded world,

I see mouths moving, hands waving, but the sounds are silent,

They smile at me; I falsely smile back while dying inside.

The family gathering is a nightmare I want to end,

The room is big but in my mind it is small,

There is laughing, lots of dancing, and people having fun,

In my room there is no happiness, no dancing, it is a dark and numb place.

I watch each sudden movement and worry people will glide towards me,

My invisible door between my room and their room is firmly shut,

I plead, I prey, I shout in my head, keep away, stay back, don’t break down my door,

All I want is to be left alone, no smiles, no pleasantries and no conversation.

I look at my watch hoping time will transform from seconds to hours,

The big hand on my watch is lazy and moving at a snail’s pace,

I want time to fly so I can escape and be free,

Time is frozen, shivers run down my spine, the room is getting darker.

The room may be packed but it is empty to me,

The packed room represents my past life,

A life of fun, happiness and a future

My empty room represents my present and future life.

I wish people understood my world,

You don’t have to be in an empty room to feel alone.