Attempting a PIP claim, but now it's causing more stress at the thought of having an assessment.

Jimm_Scope said:

Hey @LostDreams, how are you feeling now that a day has passed? The assessment really can take a lot out of you so I hope the rest of yesterday was quite restful for you. We've all got our fingers crossed for you as always thank you for your very lovely words.

Hi Jimm_Scope, thank you for asking.
Yesterday it really did take everything out of me. I had a bath afterwards as I managed to get the day off work, so got a hot bath, then lay down.... And I fell asleep for 3hrs. I couldn't believe it. Then I sorted my son out once he got home from school and I ended up napping again..... Then still managed to sleep all night. It truly emotionally drained me. Which is crazy. I sound like a toddler who needs constant naps after playing all day 😂. 
Today, I feel somewhat relieved the assessment is over with. It's a huge relief. I just hope that everything goes well and I'm listened too, understood and awarded it. It would help in so many ways, especially to use to help me get support that I can't get on the NHS. If that makes any sense?!
However, if declined, then fair enough. I know their are other people out there that are worse off than me and need it more. Ci don't think I could go through the appeals process, so I'm just going to hope for the best, but expect the worst, so I'm not too upset. That said, I'm still keeping everything crossed 🤞 😂
Thank you again for everything. Words can't explain how much I appreciate the help and support I've received off here. It's invaluable. Thank you. 
I hope you're well? 

Albus_Scope said:

Heya @LostDreams, I'm glad you managed to get some self care time in, it really can make all the difference, especially a lovely long nap!  

Getting the assessment out of the way is the biggest hurdle to be fair, it's the worst.  Though *if* they do decline you, I'd strongly suggest you go through the appeal, it's  worlds away from the assessment and the tribunal folks have always been really lovely and compassionate with me and many others.  Tribunals have a 70% success rate for a reason. 

And please don't say "there are people worse off than me" I know how you feel, BUT it doesn't mean you don't deserve the help you're entitled to.  

We're all here to help and support you, every step of the way.  

@Alex_Scope thank you for your help and support and kind words.
Yeah, the self care, or more so the nap, was definitely needed. I always feel exhausted anyway, due to the health problems, but yesterday, that nap felt like the best nap I've ever had. 😂 

I think what worries me about appealing, is feeling like I'm having to sit and convince a panel, that I'm truly struggling due to my illnesses etc, when someone else has already basically said I'm fit enough, hence it being declined. If that makes any sense? I'm rubbish at putting things into words, so I hope you get what I'm trying to say.
That said, maybe when appealing, maybe you don't have to attend and a panel just looks at the application again? I don't actually know. But I have heard people say that many people have been awarded once appealed, so it's something worth thinking about I suppose. It just scares me and feels like it would be too emotionally and physically draining. But, never say never, I suppose.
I'll still hope for the best, but expect the worst, to be on the safe side of sanity 😂 

And I hear ya, I do think and know that there are people out here, who struggle more than others but because I work, I feel a fraud asking for help. Don't get me wrong, I find working is hard and my work has adapted for me and my health. Strategies and support is in place to help me. I'm lucky that I have a boss who values my contribution enough, to rather put things in place to keep me there, than lose me as an employee. (she actually said that to me, so please don't think I'm being big headed and bigging myself up 😂)
Anyway, thank you again for your kind words. I hope you're well and have a lovely remainder of the day. Take care. 

TO ALL THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE ON HERE, WHO HAVE HELPED ME THROUGH THIS JOURNEY, I JUST WANT TO UPDATE YOU AND TELL YOU ALL THAT THIS MORNING, I RECEIVED A TEXT SAYING "YOU HAVE BEEN AWARDED PIP AND WILL RECIEVE A LETTER IN THE NEXT 2 WEEKS EXPLAINING THE DECISION". I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I'M SO RELIEVED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT LEVEL I'VE BEEN AWARDED YET, AS NOTHING IN BANK NOR DOES THE TEXT STATE, BUT WHAT A RELIEF. I CAN'T QUITE BELIEVE IT. THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OR MY HEART FOR ALL YOUR HELP, ADVICE, SUPPORT AND KINDNESS. 

Thank you all for the kind words of affirmation and encouragement. I'm truly grateful that it has been accepted. 
I received the payment yesterday and letter today and on parts of the assessment explanation for the award, I do feel like some points weren't recognised by the awarding person. For example, with eating disorders, it's common to have memory problems. To which I have. This is because your body is in starvation mode and the brain is 'selfish' so to speak, therefore the parts it feels aren't important, are sort of 'disconnected' if you like. Lack of food affects memory, concentration, the ability to retain information etc etc. Yet the awarding person stated, "although you mention you have memory problems, you haven't had a memory test to confirm this and you haven't been diagnosed with a cognitive, learning, visual, speech or heating impairment, so no evidence supports this". But my evidence I attached from the eating disorder clinic, states in it that I have memory problems etc but doesn't state why, but that's because in the ED specialist field, this is common knowledge. If that makes sense?
There is a couple more things that they stated, that has been misunderstood. I. E. I was prescribed antidepressants, but the side effects made my avoidance and sensitivity to food, worse, due to nausea, so I had to stop taking them and on my medical records, it states I had an adverse reaction towards this medication, but the person wrote "your medical history shows no prescribed anxiolytics and shows you declined the use of medication", which is clearly wrong.
Anyway, I'm still thankful I have been awarded something, but disappointed that certain areas have been misunderstood or misinterpreted. 
But, maybe that's just the way things go. 
Again, thank you all so very much for everything over the past few months, I can't thank yous enough. May you all have a blessed evening and remainder of the week.