What's the best thing about being a disabled dad / dad to a disabled child? — Scope | Disability forum
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What's the best thing about being a disabled dad / dad to a disabled child?

JenniferU
JenniferU Community member Posts: 108 Pioneering
It's Father's Day in June, but it's also nice to appreciate dads all the time!

We'd love to know what you enjoy most about being a dad. We'd like to use your comments in a potential blog. :) 


Comments

  • JenniferU
    JenniferU Community member Posts: 108 Pioneering
    edited June 2016
  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Community member Posts: 154 Pioneering
    My daughters are now 21 and 23 but I'm a gramps to Oscar who is 20 months old, since he could sit up he has loved sitting on my lap in the wheelchair and I would just every now and then place my hand on his chest and gently pat him to sit back.
    People seem fascinated when we go round the supermarket with him sat on my lap. Now he tries to push me in the wheelchair and he moves it.
    The best thing is that he doesn't bat an eyelid at me in a wheelchair, to him it's just what gramps does and why wouldn't he.
  • FoodFatigue
    FoodFatigue Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    For me it's raising and seeing that my daughter doesn't bat an eyelid when seeing other people with disabilities. She's developed a great empathy and it's great to see
  • ggblog44
    ggblog44 Community member Posts: 8 Listener
  • JenniferU
    JenniferU Community member Posts: 108 Pioneering
    Great answers guys! Thank you :)

    @charlimaisdad @Martin Emery I bet you have some great reasons to add! 
  • charlimaisdad
    charlimaisdad Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    The best thing about being a dad to charli mai is seeing her achieve milestones, and to see how much she gets out of life. 
  • Martin Emery
    Martin Emery Community member Posts: 10 Connected
    Being a dad is the one thing I'm most proud to be in my life.  Having a child with Disabilities to be honest just amplifies that honour and pride.  The two younger children get our eldest involved in everything they do, they see when doors need to be opened and recognise places the Wheelchair wont fit. 
    A child once asked one of the Boys "what happened to your brother" without batting an eye lid the reply was "what do you mean?".  You see to us, yes our eldest has disabilities, but he has many abilities too.  And it is clear to see they see his abilities more. 
    Such a special moment to witness.  Another amazing moment for me, was at a football match.  I campaign for better access to Football Stadiums, and one of the things I asked for is Accessible Family Seating so that family's can enjoy a game together and not separate. In our life its often Our eldest getting looked after by his younger brothers, but at a football match I took this picture, where clearly Big brother, is looking after the youngest.  Had a lump in my throat when taking this picture, and still do when I see it, but its pictures like this, that make being a Dad the best thing in the world.  Of course it may be Fathers day on Sunday,  but i couldn't be half the dad I am today, without the support of my wife, and there mum.  Like football, being a Dad or a Mum to me is a Team thing.  And when were on form, we make one hell of a team. 
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,638 Scope online community team
    I love being a Dad! Watching my daughter grow unfazed by differences. I love the conversations we have. Being a Dad in a wheelchair has also given be the opportunity to meet other families with kids that may not have ever met a disabled person before.
    Scope
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  • cwright
    cwright Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    The best thing about being a dad to Ellie....

    The dawning realisation that this child you think you had isn't the child you envisaged or planned, the heart break and loss. Then seeing this person, more remarkable than you could have imagined, grow before you, struggling to overcome their disabilities, with a strength and courage that would make any parent beyond proud. This beautiful girl, who without fuss or complaint, overcome her disabilities daily, with a smile and an inner joy few of us can emulate. Through her life, she has enriched ours deeply. I thank God for her every day. 
  • JenniferU
    JenniferU Community member Posts: 108 Pioneering
    edited June 2016
    Hope you all had a great day yesterday!

    Here's the finished blog: https://blog.scope.org.uk/2016/06/19/the-best-thing-about-being-a-disabled-dad-or-dad-to-a-disabled-child/

    Sorry we didn't get to include everyone - we put it together on Friday. 
  • ByDkevin03
    ByDkevin03 Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    edited June 2016
    Every person is a blessing whether disable or not. To have a dad or to be with your dad is the most memorable thing to remember, to cherish so whoever he is we should be proud of
  • Joseph_and_Suzy
    Joseph_and_Suzy Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    edited June 2016
    I love being a Dad and a role model to my son Stefan. He suffers with hydrocephalous and cerebral palsy. At the moment my wife Suzy and I are fighting for our sons rights. Stefan is living in a home not fit for purpose (not adapted) and has been abandoned by social services since March 2016. On the 2nd of February 2016 Stefan underwent his fourth brain related surgery, his 13 surgery since being born prematurely. His most recent surgery was radical. He is only the fourth person in the UK to undergo the procedure. We are now in the middle of a waiting game praying that all continues to go well regarding his recovery. 

    Sadly my wife Suzy and I have been in a battle with Southwark Council for the last several years looking to be rehoused into a properly adapted home. Currently we are living on a steep hill in a non adapted home. We have our MP Harriet Harman involved several executive members within Southwark Council and still no joy. We applied to be rehoused in July of 2015 and were granted permission to bid on a proper home in June of 2016 after facing nearly a year of unexpected obstacles. We are currently having issues addressed such as having our password changed without explanation and the ridiculous amount of time it took to process our application. 

    In the description below the youtube video to follow you will see links to three recent newspaper articles we have appeared in fighting for our sons rights. Here is the link to the video: https://youtu.be/ReKom3GGsFs All we want is for our son Stefan to get is fair and equal treatment by Southwark Council. Unfortunately that is and has not been the case. 
  • JenniferU
    JenniferU Community member Posts: 108 Pioneering
    Sorry to hear you've been having such a hard time @Joseph_and_Suzy. @DebbieVoakes is our community advisor on housing and independent living, and I'm sure she'll be able to offer you some great advice. You can post a question to her here: https://community.scope.org.uk/categories/ask-a-housing-and-independent-living-advisor

  • Joseph_and_Suzy
    Joseph_and_Suzy Community member Posts: 2 Listener
    Thank you @JenniferU we will be posting are questions to @DebbieVoakes today as well as calling the Scope helpline. 

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