Pressure — Scope | Disability forum

Pressure

yani051180
yani051180 Member Posts: 8 Listener
in Disability rights and campaigning
I have been with my partner of 39 (I am 36) who has mild cerebral palsy for about 3 months now. We had sex about a month ago and I am the first woman he has been with. I realise he may be excited to be with someone but I am starting to feel pressurised into having sex with him and he doesn't seem interested in pleasing me. I know these things take time but I'm just not sure on how to approach the subject without hurting his feelings. Any advice would be much appreciated xx
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  • Ajk110
    Ajk110 Member Posts: 47

    You are right that these things take time. It's not uncommon for a sexually inexperienced person not to focus on the needs of their partners. It's with time and experience that many people learn that good sex is about communication, openness and much more about focussing on the person one is with than the technique one uses. Maybe he thinks he is pleasing you, especially if you reassure him and react in all the right ways. Instead of criticising him or pointing out what he isn't doing, suggest to him things that he could do that you would like and enjoy. Spell it out to him. Be conscious of giving plenty of feedback so that he can learn about you and what you like.

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  • yani051180
    yani051180 Member Posts: 8 Listener
    Thank you for your advice. I have spoken to him about it now and he seemed to take it pretty well x
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  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,674 Disability Gamechanger
    All good relationships are based firmly on great communication.  I'm glad your chat has gone down well, keep those lines of communication open!
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
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