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Does Valentine's Day represent disabled people?

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  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Community member Posts: 133 Courageous
    Hi from Fm again. I'm glad "valentine's" is over at last. I am never "happy" and never have been because I'm under absolute constant brutal attack, it's not just disability that affects me but all sorts of appalling things to the point where I'm furiously wound up virtually all the time 24/7 because I just absolutely never get a break. I just end up going absolutely stark raving mad and smashing things, I recently had to get another second hand monitor because I put my fist and a hammer right through the other one. This is how I've been all my life and I'm absolutely sick and tired of it and my parents kept having the outrageous cheek to keep blaming me when it was their fault. They infected me with the appalling things. And I don't expect to see folk like me on the TV all the time, that would only have the whole nation complaining. But what I do expect is like I've told the BBC I don't know how many times is that folk like me have to pay the same licence fee as anyone else and therefore should have equal representation, Why not have someone like me occasionally appearing on "eastenders" for instance instead of just someone in a wheelchair. And another thing that really furiously annoys me on TV is how they keep making such a fuss about folk who choose to screw up their own life with stupid drink and drugs, there's always such sympathy for them, well I've no sympathy for such folk as it's their own fault, no-one forces the bottle in their gob or the needle in their arm etc. Even as I try and type this post it's systematically driving me out of my skull because it keeps systematically screwing up and screws up even more and more when I try desperately to correct it. And the more I seriously need anything the more it's absolutely ruthlessly withheld from me and always has been and everything that can be done is constantly done to keep it that way which absolutely ENRAGES me! So now you know. Fm.
  • Geoark
    Geoark Community member Posts: 1,463 Disability Gamechanger
    Sam_Scope said:
    I enjoy Valentines Day, I don't need gifts or anything expensive but I think it's a nice reminder to tell your loved ones that you love them.

    I do agree though that disabled people aren't represented, I didn't see any adverts including disabled people. But that is probably across the year, not just on 14th Feb.
    @Sam_Scope

    Not sure if you have seen some of the recent malteser adverts which came ouf during 2016? They were done in collaboration with Scope, I loved the use of humour to challenge views and hope there will be more.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Community member Posts: 154 Pioneering
    @Fundamentalist we can change, anger hurts us more than anyone else, trust me I have been there!
    It is possible to let go of anger, believe me it feels good when you do.
    Smashing inanimate objects serves no purpose, anger at them and raging where no-one can hear you is only making you feel worse.
    Try to get help, try to take deep breaths and count to ten, I know it sounds like a cliche but it works. Letting go of anger feels very good, you feel so much better.
    This doesn't mean you can't have a moan and a whinge about life, we all do but learn to realise that lashing out is fruitless and dangerous to you.
    Please try it! 
    Zec 
  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Community member Posts: 133 Courageous
    Hi from Fm again. The reason why I end up going absolutely furiously mad and smashing things is simple but the solution is anything but. People are not designed to be absolutely relentlessly and systematically tortured out of their skull, everyone needs a safety valve, just like a steam boiler or a compressor does to relieve excess pressure otherwise it will explode. And so do people if they're not relieved of pressure, it HAS to come out one way or another and the cause in my case is way beyond medical help, that I know for absolute certain, there is no maybe. I NEVER have anything even remotely nice or even half-decent happen to me ever, just absolutely relentless meticulous hounding and persecution, it goes way beyond disability and is caused by things I was forcibly infected with at birth if not before and I can't really discuss it on this site as it would most likely cause a serious storm of protest against me and most likely get me kicked out which wouldn't be the first time. I can't even type anything without being constantly hounded. Unless of course the management want me to discuss it but I warn you it would be a seriously emotive subject but it is the cause of all sorts of so-called "mental health" problems and all manner of other conditions too dreadful to talk about here and far too many folk, including far too many "professionals" won't even accept it but I know for absolute fact it's absolutely real and it's possible to inherit it as I did, you don't get any choice about who your parents are and what they're carrying. And for me there is no so-called "feelgood" factor, how can there be when it's the so-called "feelgood" stuff that causes you to be so brutally tortured in the first place so there's no escape and everybody needs to. So I'm NEVER "elated" or excited or even remotely "happy" and never have been in 50-odd years! Fm.
  • frasermathieson
    frasermathieson Community member Posts: 18 Courageous
    Valentines is very difficult for someone with a disability.  I have CP and being of my speech and walking, the looks of 'seriously who you think of you as a boyfriend' is unbelievable.  I have tried to get girls, and I do see girls that are nice looking, but on the scale of things why would you look at someone who is disabled against a 'normal' person.

    It hard when you see adverts who paint a perfect life, gorgeous looking models etc and it is obviously Valentines is a money-making thing but wouldn't it be nice if someone could show someone else love.
  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Community member Posts: 133 Courageous
    Hi from Fm. I don't bother watching the stupid TV ad's anymore, I stopped watching them years ago because they always show a totally unrealistic perfect world where everybody has a nice perfect life and it really winds me right up so when the ad's come on now I just switch over to my security cameras for about five minutes. And I know just what you mean when you mention such prejudice, when I was much younger, in my teens I was constantly mistaken for a gay bloke and relentlessly abused and hounded because of it and it wasn't just locals either, it was just about anywhere, even in Den Haag in Holland would you believe! It was just as well I wasn't as aggressive as I am now or they might've had an international incident on their hands. And that went on for about 18 years and I got windows smashed by local idiots and then later on gays were becoming more accepted so some stupid empty-headed git decided to falsely accuse me of being a filthy child-molesting pervert instead and that soon got the local yobs going all over again and what really infuriates me about situations like that is how so many folk just automatically believe it without even a shred of evidence. And unfortunately all the time we have too many liberals in charge of our country it will only breed further impunity and therefore more instead of less prejudice. And as for TV these days I usually just end up watching the shopping channels without the sound and just admire the babes. I think what you need is to find a dating site for disabled folk but first have a read of my post on finding a safe dating site. And you most likely won't find anyone from the normal crowd's dating sites as they're usually far too elitist and are generally only used by professional classes in my experience and they only want folk who are on equal terms with them. And at the end of the day of course it all depends on the attitude of whoever you meet and how caring they are, I wouldn't bother with anyone so prejudiced and hateful as it would never work with them, after all if they hate someone just because they're disabled then how can they really love anyone? They're not worth bothering with are they? Fm.
  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Community member Posts: 154 Pioneering
    Oh @Fundamentalist I know you are really all smiles, fluffy and happy.
    You don't have to pretend around us!
    Good night 
  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Community member Posts: 133 Courageous
    Hi from Fm again...I'll only be happy when I'm properly fully healed and I've got some nice company who accepts me as I am and who cares! Not before. Fm.
  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Community member Posts: 154 Pioneering
    We may never be healed, I have been told that I will always be in pain and so we can't wait for that to happen.
    We have to look for the positive things, find the cracks of light in the darkness otherwise you just spiral downwards.
    Right now I have just woken up, I'm in a lot of pain today because I showered last night. It's horrible, I hate it, I have lost all my friends and I am stuck at home but right now, I can hear the birds and it makes me smile.
    Even on the worst of days, I try and find something that is a positive.

  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Community member Posts: 133 Courageous
    We may never be healed, I have been told that I will always be in pain and so we can't wait for that to happen.
    We have to look for the positive things, find the cracks of light in the darkness otherwise you just spiral downwards.
    Right now I have just woken up, I'm in a lot of pain today because I showered last night. It's horrible, I hate it, I have lost all my friends and I am stuck at home but right now, I can hear the birds and it makes me smile.
    Even on the worst of days, I try and find something that is a positive.


    Hi from Fm. Who told you we may never be healed? Whoever it was they must be awfully pessimistic. I've been healed before from other things and I know it's possible to be healed further as I know for absolute certain that there IS a God who CAN heal and I will NEVER give up seeking his help. Sometimes he wants to see how determined folk are. Fm.
  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Community member Posts: 154 Pioneering
    There are some things that can't be fixed, it sucks and it's hard to deal with. However if we constantly fight for a fix when there isn't one, then we waste that time. Something has gone wrong with the way my body perceives pain, I had many knee surgeries and after the last one the pain didn't go away.
    Even a cold shudder is excruciating pain when it goes through my legs.
    I now don't worry about a fix, this is how I will be until I die and so I focus on making the best of my situation.
    As for a deity healing me?
    If there is a god, why would he choose to heal me when there is so much more that needs healing and sorting out. The truth is that it won't happen, some things can't be fixed and we have to come to terms with that and accept it!
  • frasermathieson
    frasermathieson Community member Posts: 18 Courageous
    Interesting thoughts about being healed - unfortunately, this will most likely not happen and yes I do believe there is a God, but realistic at the same time.

    I've tried dating sites for people with disabilities - yeah not a good experience.  Found this 'charity' worker doing a gap year in Nigeria who was from Brisbane.  Sent gorgeous photos of her, really stunning and not when I think about it, how naive I was.  Said she would travel to UK and agreed to pay half the fare.  Then was told that she had to pay £400 for a visa because British Airways imposed a visa charged.  Alarm bells, done investigations and found it was all a scam.  Felt so embarrassed and ashamed and too me a long time to get over it or trust someone.  Since I work as a professional in IT, I thought I would be able to spot this, but desire for something can cloud your mind and thinking.
  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Community member Posts: 133 Courageous
    Hi from Fm again... Honestly, what a dreadfully negative attitude, I don't want to sound unfriendly or in any way prejudiced but with that attitude you really are your own worst enemy. I too have suffered constant pain and constant torture for over 50 years but I know there is DEFINITELY an all powerful God up above but he won't force himself on anyone, we have to be open to him. We don't live in a perfect world, it's a mess, just look at the news. But I know from real life powerful EXPERIENCE that there is a God above because I have received powerful healing in the past. I suggest you have a look at Prophetic Vision's site, I can't remember the exact address but I can soon find out if you want and write it here. It's run by an Evangelist in Yorkshire called David Hathaway and he has got countless thousands of people healed from all sorts of dreadful conditions over the last 60-odd years in Russia and eastern Europe and elsewhere. There is also another chap, A German Evangelist called Reinhard Bonnke and he has got millions healed in Africa over the last 40-odd years and he has an organisation called Christ for all nations and he will have a website too most likely. So why not check him out too. People get healed all the time, it just doesn't get reported on the secular TV because they're too prejudiced or too scared of ridicule. And Britain really has lost touch with God too badly, it's about time the remaining 3 million or so Christians in this country of ours got their act together and got the message out proper. You should see how active Christianity is in Africa, There's real passion for God there. ANYTHING can be healed if people will only be determined enough and open their hearts properly to God instead of rejecting him so much like they do so often in this country which really has gone too far down too many wrong roads. Anyone who believes such dreadfully pessimistic stuff really won't get healed if they keep taking such a dreadfully wrong attitude. That's what typically happens in this country because there isn't anywhere near enough passion for God here like there is elsewhere in the world and it's about time there was. It seems to me you really have been talking to the wrong folk, if anyone tries to tell me "nothing can be healed" I will get them told proper because I know different. I'm only trying to help, what you believe is up to you at the end of the day. Fm.
  • frasermathieson
    frasermathieson Community member Posts: 18 Courageous
    I thought this was about if valentine's represents disabled people, not about an existing of a God and the power they have.  This is my last response to any of your posts @Fundamentalist on the subject, as it a getting away from the point of the post and you are turning it into a religious post.  I do not believe in discussing religion given the issues it can cause.  Sorry I know its your opinion.
  • Zec Richardson
    Zec Richardson Community member Posts: 154 Pioneering
    Oh damn that made my day, I actually laughed so hard!!!
    @Fundamentalist said I'm negative  :D
    I'm happy, I function very well, just worry about yourself
    I was trying to help
     :D  :D:D 
  • Chris_Alumni
    Chris_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 689 Pioneering
    @Fundamentalist, as discussed previously, please avoid discussing topics which are not relevant to the post. This is a post about Valentine's Day and is not the right place for religious discussion. 

  • frasermathieson
    frasermathieson Community member Posts: 18 Courageous
    @Chris_Scope thank you for reaffirming this, I put it as realised it was heading into a potential dangerous area which could offend people and wanted to take no part if it headed this way,
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
    Geoark said:
    Sam_Scope said:
    I enjoy Valentines Day, I don't need gifts or anything expensive but I think it's a nice reminder to tell your loved ones that you love them.

    I do agree though that disabled people aren't represented, I didn't see any adverts including disabled people. But that is probably across the year, not just on 14th Feb.
    @Sam_Scope

    Not sure if you have seen some of the recent malteser adverts which came ouf during 2016? They were done in collaboration with Scope, I loved the use of humour to challenge views and hope there will be more.

    I did! I loved them, especially those with the brilliant @samantharenke16 who is also a community member here!  :)
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
    Valentines is very difficult for someone with a disability.  I have CP and being of my speech and walking, the looks of 'seriously who you think of you as a boyfriend' is unbelievable.  I have tried to get girls, and I do see girls that are nice looking, but on the scale of things why would you look at someone who is disabled against a 'normal' person.

    It hard when you see adverts who paint a perfect life, gorgeous looking models etc and it is obviously Valentines is a money-making thing but wouldn't it be nice if someone could show someone else love.
    I get where you are coming from, but I think that advertising is so far removed from reality in most walks of life.  As a woman, I see millions of images of what a woman 'should' look like, that is usually white, young, able bodied, thin and conventionally 'beautiful'.  When you are none of those things it can feel like you don't fit in, but I have to look past all of that and remember that adverts are not real life. 
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
    Interesting thoughts about being healed - unfortunately, this will most likely not happen and yes I do believe there is a God, but realistic at the same time.

    I've tried dating sites for people with disabilities - yeah not a good experience.  Found this 'charity' worker doing a gap year in Nigeria who was from Brisbane.  Sent gorgeous photos of her, really stunning and not when I think about it, how naive I was.  Said she would travel to UK and agreed to pay half the fare.  Then was told that she had to pay £400 for a visa because British Airways imposed a visa charged.  Alarm bells, done investigations and found it was all a scam.  Felt so embarrassed and ashamed and too me a long time to get over it or trust someone.  Since I work as a professional in IT, I thought I would be able to spot this, but desire for something can cloud your mind and thinking.

    Oh that is terrible, but you shouldnt feel ashamed.  Scammers attack people and it can be easy to fall for it, they rely on those people being too embarrassed to speak about it and warn others. 

    Sorry you went through that.
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
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