Hi, my name is staceyjane!

Hi.i Ave.had  depression  n deep.depression  since I.was.admitted to hospital in 1985 didn't get any help.when came.out my.mum.had to.to.look after.me.n my.father.as he had a nervous breakdown  through being  made.redudant we.both got to as out patient see a pshyciartrisit  we both on tablets. My dad was on sick for a very long time I had to sign n find a job which I struggled with I kept leaving jobs as couldn't settle in got.got . pregnant at.19 n my parents n my bf parents.thought it was for the best for me.to.ave abortion at 5mths as.as.myself n my bf had no money to look.look.after. abortion. Baby so .I went through with it.so then after  went back to my parents felt so number me n my bf fell apart I got no counselling nothing I had to carry on as normal then I got married.married to he same guy at 24 had a baby girl he never helped me with the baby he went straight back to work n carried on as normal I had to cope with a new born baby n I fell ill with postnatal  depression ended up.in hospital with my  baby they helped me n gave me tablets till I felt ok to go back home my baby had collic  but got no help my health visitor visited me n said I looked tired n prescribed gripe water for my baby so I slept when baby did so nothing got done my husband got angry n starting hurting me n asked why no Dinner on table he hit me then he go.out to his mates n left me n baby I got worse so rang my .mum for help n I. Panicked  so they came.round.so did dr my husband was at work knew nothing my baby had to go in to foster care n I had to be hospitalised again with medication came out in 6 mths my baby got adopted  as the father gave her up he had new gf and another baby I found out it hurt me so much I was divorced  in a yr was back with my parents had to look.forxa job had no help n 1 morning everything got to me.n I saw darkness n I tried to take my own life ended up.sectioned in hospital  for a yr was purchased on medication  then got put as out patient had some counciling I was diagnosed as deep depression n my dad was still not well my dad was never the same again I got help went to grips just a few as wasn't many around then I met a new guy he looked after me I was feeling settled n had a baby girl  my partner looked  after  me n baby as he knew abt before then 5 yrs later had another little girl but she took ill was admitted to baby unit so I got I'll amidmittedgain but  was put on antidepressants  again my partner gave up his job to look after my eldest why I was in hospital looking after my baby she got bronchial neumonia so I thought I was going to lose another baby but she pulled years went past she got better I was lowered on medication then my partner started turning on me pickin at me funding fault with things we started arguing then he abused me so.i locked home out.packed his stuff told .him.to .go then we moved Away n started afresh met a lovely guy so I thought n he abused me to n I had another girl since then he founded me n kids he said he changed so I gave him abused other chance few mths went past he been drinking we got arguing then he smashed my home up I got kids out n I called the police they found him arrested him n we got moved out of the area I felt really down everything getting to me all what I lost n put with n went through so I went drs he put me on some strong tablets n sent me to counciling I had ro wait 6 mths to be seen it didn't help.made me worse then I had therapy that didn't help as we back to my past n I fell really ill I was ilusonate seeing bad things so went back drs n was referred to pshyciartrisit  n still seeing her now n I been diagnosed with PTSD  n my son who is 12 as got deep anxiety disorder  n short term memory loss I been told also through my sons peadatric that it is genetic through my dad's side of family  n I'm on pip n it is the worse I've been through  I had home visit the lady was late by half hr made me so I'll I felt I was  judged  all because there are fakers out there who abuse the dwp n it's  fair on people  like  ourselves that Ave mental.health problems n i also Ave other health problems as.well that makes.my mental health worse as i can't do n go places I could go to my 13 yr old daughter is my carer n is feel so I bad I Ave to rely on her to.help me n I won't get any better in health wise with my knee n my left arm.where I'm left handed if I Ave to do forms then I Ave to get help to fill them in I do think that mental.health should be more looked in to.n more help inn the community