How we can seem so together unyet utterly broken
I'm sitting here thinking how Not just me,but how we as people can form a discussion in such a way that it appears that we are so together and present in everything.Unyet an event can make us seem like we have died and are walking around in a muffled world.We can hear people speaking but it's like there is a problem with the sound and the whole world has changed.Its like walking around on auto pilot.Does this make sense?.T
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yes absolutely makes sense
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Hi Jane, it sounds as if you have had a shock or you are feeling overwhelmed...please look after yourself. As to the experience of muffling of sound and a sense of unreality. ..have you heard of dissociation and derealisation? It's the brains way of protecting itself from too much stress but it can continue long after the event has passed. There are ways to bring yourself back into the present which you can learn...strong smells and tastes eg peppermint can help! I am not a doctor and it may not be dissociation so it would be worth checking out with your GP if it continues and is not helpful in your life. I have struggled with this on and off for many years and have learned ways to cope with it.
Check out the charity Unreal.
All the best, AA
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Aye totally i sometimes feel as if i'm outside of my body, not really here, weird i know but i can relate.
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It does seem odd the way we can tune in and out. The human brain is a strange thing.
I often feel lost in time and don't know when I am or quite how I got here.
But when I have something to do I am much better and can engage with safe people, not that there are many of them.
I have been even more disocciated previously having come out of years and years of extreme stress. I seem to be incapable of getting help and as I tend to hide rather than become disruptive no help comes to me. But then I look at the state of services and think that getting help would just add yet more stress… I have survived almost 60 years without it after all.
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I'm lying (down) unsurprised by anything that's happening, although very little of it is what I'd choose ideally.
The world doesn't work according to my ideals but why should it?
A problem with hope is that people imagine such varied and various versions of how the world should be for the best.
Our species has met a challenging and ruinously expensive plague. One of our most important energy suppliers is being sanctioned over their illegal war. Housing costs and many other issues increasingly factionalise us into competing groups. Fear is driving lots of decisions and that's rarely for the best.
People seem to be arguing incessantly and that's when we stop listening to each other. Forming into self-isolating groups.
Twas always the way, we're just overexposed to it right now for the reasons I listed above (etc).
Once the bluster and rhetoric is put to the test, negotiations will have to find a path to the future and I'm sure they will.
During the LA riots of 1992 Rodney King famously asked "can we, can we all just get along?".
For the most part we do. As they so do however some people make a lot of noise.
This too shall pass...
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I agree I get this I feel I'm in a see through bubble all foggy or I see shadows or I become fearless and take big risks so ie isolation have you been really stressed of lately
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Totally get it ❤️
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Hi Catherine21
The bubble and fogginess part could be derealisation unless there is something neurological going on? Have you had it checked out?
The taking risks aspect is not part of derealisation but maybe you have a fearless or impulsive part of your personality which is active at times...maybe trying to "go for it" when you are shy!. But if it's not helpful or causing problems it may be an idea to reflect on it and think of ways of gently reining it in...perhaps taking longer to make decisions...
All the best, Ostia x
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It seems so many of us feel very much alike.Thank you Ostia.This does make sense.I feel personally I'm on the cusp of a very deep depression.Its odd because I've been suicidal before and have made attempts ( many years ago).I don't feel that way now but I can now understand from the position that I'm in that only 1 attempt was to end my life.living with pain every day both emotional and now physically and thinking about the future I am thinking realistically how things will pan out.A year goes pretty fast but getting through the next 5 years seems unimaginable.I think that the concern is that like in any/many professions there is total incompetence.Weve seen it with Politicians,Dr's,the list goes on with scandals and I just feel I can't put my trust in anyone anymore.
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So intreasting I been diagnosed with borderline personality anti social traits also pmdd which not alot of medical professionals know about this so the fearless side came from the most horrendous rage shocking rage So isolation was and is the way I deal with life i know shouldn't keep looking back but the things I said and did are unforgivable I'm quite and safe at home if I'm forced to work I'm scared because when I feel cornered I'm like a lion but on the flip side I have a heart of gold it's all so confusing how do you know this have you studied mental health the mind is very complex
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Hi Catherine
Sorry to hear you have been so low...you are an articulate and valued person, just look at the discussion your post opened up on this forum! It would not have been possible without your courage and openness. As you can see, so many people struggle with their emotional life, and very few of us were brought up being shown good ways to handle big feelings. We have to learn this as we go along...
Fortunately there is so much information available now on stress, dissociation and mental health. Lots of research has been done in the last 30 years and it is ongoing.
Did you know that several of the top trauma experts eg Janina Fisher, consider BPD to be a trauma problem, not a personality issue....it can stem from insecure relationships growing up, emotional neglect and poor parenting. I think if you look her up it will be an eye opener for you, and should lift the stigma of being diagnosed with a "disorder".
I attended a conference with her a few months ago in London..it was amazing and so helpful.
I live with post viral ME and Complex PTSD and other neurological issues so I know how hard it is just to make it though the day sometimes. I do have a therapist but I also worked out years ago that it is hard to find the right help and anyway, I know best what is going on inside me. So I set to learning about my issues online and through YouTube videos plus some paid courses...it helps me a lot to have that understanding for myself. Trust is difficult with all the problems you mentioned, so I am working on trying to trust myself and just a few other people. I have a good GP which is also very fortunate. I hope you have some kind people around you too.
Wishing you all the best for a peaceful weekend.
Ostia
Ps sorry to go on so long!
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Oh thankyou so much you write so beautifully yes also have body dismorphia I believe from undiagnosed adhd autism no I haven't heard of her I will definitely look her up thankyou yes I have an amazing daughter who thankfully has had depression but not on going and I also hope you have supportive people around you x
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Can I ask you if it is trauma bases is that why it's so difficult to treat antidepressants and therapy really don't help me also I day dream alot and zome out when people are talking so could be this I'm sorry sometimes I skim over messages and don't get it all at once complex ptsd is extremely painful to live with x
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Hi Catherine
I have to be careful here as I am not a doctor but I have heard that BPD is a complex condtion which can have a component of trauma to it, specifically attachment trauma.
What links it with PTSD and similar conditions is that the person's nervous system has become highly dysregulated and difficult to manage, overreacting to apparent threat in a way which causes problems for the person eg in angry outbursts, getting overexcited or upset etc such that people around them won't tolerate it…it just seems "too much" , but it is not the fault of the person suffering.
What lies beneath this aspect is not having learned how to regulate and express difficult feelings and how to communicate their needs in an effective manner. We all suffer from this, to some degree! Sometimes we grow up copying how our parents/carers behave, without realising it. It can be a question of unlearning bad habits, practicing new habits over and over….
If you are interested in looking into this, have a look at "The Polyvagal System" in Youtube videos, along with any information on "Emotional Dysregulation". And Janina Fisher's website has a lot of information which could be helpful. Learning about Self Compassion is also very supportive…yes it is a science now!
All the best and have a lovely weekend.
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I will look up have a great weekend too x
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I personally believe in the afterlife and when this happens to me it's like I'm actually already dead but people can see me and still speak me.It happened recently and I couldn't conceal how awful I felt at an appointment.I pretended to have a headache but the people there know me quite well and ordinarily I have a chirpy bubbly personality.Anyway one of the staff said "are you sure you are ok?,you seem Gone,it's like you are dead behind the eyes,has something happened?".This was so spot on that she could see I was gone in what felt like soul.I acknowledge that I have disassociated from experiences from the past in order to carry on with daily life.This has worked now for over 16 years but it's all been triggered off by the universal credit ( and I know it's sounds pathetic but my journey with it has been awful.So I now am in a situation where I have huge responsibility for a child and I have no choice but to always do the right thing ( which I will).Sanity is such an important thing and keeping it to make the right choices is very tough in the world we now live
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Absolutely right, incompetents are stationed everywhere.
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eeL I can totally identify with you being anti social as I don't know if you'd agree but most people only seem out for themselves and only want what they can get from a relationship.Even via social media they take and don't give back.Its nice to be heard but also listen to others because that's how we learn ( I think anyway).It sounds like you've also been through a lot
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Yes I think there a variations of levels of this.The worst can be ( obviously not all).But inherited wealth as it can breed narcissism.I have witnessed gross attitudes from these types of people whom are never truly happy within themselves and it appears their goal is just to put down others
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How absolutely beautiful.Its almost to a point, written from the perspective of a squirrel.How I'd love to have that freedom sometimes.Do you find at times of your anxiety that you lose your level of intellect?.Not that this necessarily matters.But I have found that my brain has a sort if aphasia.Cannot seem to find the correct words and im sure a neurologist could confirm the connectionbetween depression,thought process,word finding and general intellectual functions at times such as these
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