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The Benefits Trap

Mischeefmanaged
Mischeefmanaged Community member Posts: 5 Connected

My name is Charlotte, I'm 34 and I live in Carmarthenshire, West Wales. I was a Primary School Teacher before disability made it impossible for me to work, and I would love to be able to go back to teaching one day. I have Fibromyalgia, a spinal injury, osteo-arthritis, severe anxiety and PTSD as well as some other health complaints, which have made life extremely difficult for both me and my family.

I had to leave work in March 2017. I absolutely loved my job – teaching was what I was born to do and I went back to University as a mature student to achieve my goals, which I did despite my disabilities. However, towards the end of 2016, my conditions worsened and I had to go on long term sick leave. This has had a devastating effect on my mental health, as I have gone from being an award winning career woman, to living in one room of my house and spending most of my time alone.

I have now left work permanently, which has thrown me into a very poor financial situation. I have debt, no savings, and although my husband works full time, his wages aren't enough to cover our outgoings. I applied for Employment Support Allowance, which was turned down because I have a husband that works full time. It was the same story for Working Tax Credits – my husband earns very slightly over the threshold, when in reality, his wages are just over £300 a week. This doesn't cover rent, bills, debts, fuel, utilities, food, clothes and other necessities. Housing Benefit have offered us £1 a week off our rent, which is laughable. We are right in the middle of the “Benefit Trap”, where we are not entitled to anything more than a pound a week because one of us works full time.

Young woman - Charlotte - looking at camera

My husband was advised to either stop working entirely, or work less than 16 hours a week. The government seem to be actively encouraging people to work less, in order to receive more money! It just doesn't make sense. He doesn't want to give up his job because he loves it there, and it is a form of respite as when he is at home, he is a full time carer and parent. He does everything in the house including laundry, cooking, shopping, cleaning, pet care and looking after our son. He also looks after me. He washes me, dresses me and feeds me, even sacrificing his own lunch breaks to bring me food, at the detriment of his health. He has lost a large amount of weight, is now severely underweight and has had to seek medical attention himself because he has no time to eat.

Occupational Health have offered to raise our toilet and convert our bathroom to a wet room which is much appreciated. I'll be able to shower more independently. They cannot help with anything else, such as personal care or food. They have provided me with a self-propelled wheelchair, which I cannot propel due to pain in my arms and neck. Even if I could use the chair, it does not fit through the doors in my house and I have stairs leading to downstairs and outside. I cannot access my living room, kitchen or garden at all. I need an electric wheelchair but the NHS cannot provide this to me due to funding cuts and I was told to buy my own, which obviously I am not in a position to do. Therefore, I am facing remaining in my bedroom alone on a long term basis.

I have recently applied for Personal Independence Payments. This process has been harrowing. On application, I felt positive. I knew that as a chronically ill, mentally ill and physically disabled person, I was entitled to maximum PIP benefits. I undertook a mock assessment with the Citizens Advice Bureau and scored 74 points, entitling me to higher benefits for both mobility and independence. When it came to my real assessment, I had to cancel the first one, due to severe panic attacks. The second assessment went ahead in my home and I spent most of it shaking, sobbing and telling my husband that I was sure I was going to die. I physically could not move from my bed as I was in too much pain and the assessor was reassuring, discouraged me from moving and told me that as I was clearly severely distressed, he could come back at another time, which we declined as I just wanted it over.

Charlotte with her son and husband signing a marriage register

When I received my PIP report, I was floored. We all were. I had scored 0 points for the first section and 4 points for the second, denying me any benefits at all. The report itself was paragraph after paragraph of blatant lies. The assessor had said that because he didn't see me move during the assessment, he deemed me able to walk, get into the bath, go downstairs and complete all aspects of self-care, despite the fact that he told me not to move because I was visibly in too much pain. He had ignored medical reports, letters from the mental health team and the fact that I was being given a wet room and a wheelchair by Occupational Therapy. He deemed me fit to work. He had sat in my bedroom, witnessing me screaming and crying in terror and then wrote that I was “calm and relaxed throughout the assessment”. It was absolutely shocking and the stress and anger caused me to have a flare up of my illness.

I had to put together a Mandatory Reconsideration, which addressed every untruth in the report that were so extensive that I wrote 22 pages, not including supporting evidence from my GP and mental health team. I have just been informed that this has also been declined. I have to now appeal again and take the case to a tribunal, meaning that I must attend court to fight for what I am entitled to. This will be extremely difficult for me, not just physically but mentally – it was hard enough having the initial assessment in my home. I haven't left my house for months and I do not know how I will be able to go to court. Meanwhile, we are spiralling further into debt. With just my husband's wages coming in, we are having to start looking into food banks and may face homelessness.

I find it very hard to accept my illness, as I do not want to be stuck in bed, living a lonely life of pain and boredom. I find it even harder to accept that the government is now making it as hard as possible for me to just exist. Surely this isn't how we should be treating our sick people?


Tell me about your experience of benefits as a disabled person. 

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Comments

  • NSAblue
    NSAblue Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Done most of that regarding the PIP. I got zero points even though I see a shrink, have counseling, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and had panic attacks for 9 months. This to go with two serious head injuries and depression.
    So I too am stuck on Benefits, but not enough to live on!
    ESA. Housing Benefit.
    I had lifetime DLA prior the PIP rubbish.
    So basically life's pretty rubbish.

    But it is sunny out! lol
  • Martin64
    Martin64 Community member Posts: 3 Listener
    This sounds far to familiar.  I myself had to give up work through disability and I got both esa and pip. I have now lost my pip leaving me only was to live on so life is a struggle and frequently can't afford to eat but at least I have lost some weight. 
    The latest set back was to receive a fine for claiming free prescriptions on esa because my esa is contribution based. I didn't know there was more than one type of esa so I didn't know I had done anything wrong.  The fine was  £100 plus the cost of the prescription. 
    The trouble is that they work 3 months behind so I am expecting another 2 fines before this is up to date. 
    Not sure how I can pay the outstanding amount so I will see how it goes. 
    When I phoned up to query this I was spoken to like I had done it on purpose and I was told that I had a good run and surely I knew I would be caught at some point. 
    I am devastated and this has had a very bad affect on me so my advice is check what type of esa you are on if you claim free prescriptions. 
  • Webster
    Webster Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    Can your husband get carers allowance. I get it for my husband and yes its only £62.70 a week but it does help a .lot.
  • wildlife
    wildlife Community member Posts: 1,293 Pioneering
    edited July 2017
    @Mischeefmanaged I too can identify with your story. However I managed to get my award changed AFTER the MR and didn't need to go to Tribunal. From my experience this is possible if you are determined enough. Also if you were a teacher I would guess you write well and are able to talk to people so this is what I did. As soon as I received the assessor's report full of lies I complained in writing to ATOS. Having done that I made sure DWP knew I'd done that. My MR was kept the same but there was a sentence on the reasons for the decision that I picked up on and used to my advantage. The decision maker had promised to look at my claim again if the ATOS complaint changed anything. But even without the complaint changing anything as it is still not resolved I booked a call back from a decision maker or case manager as they're now called. I had prepared questions before hand that I wanted answers for. After the phone call I had achieved a promise from them to look at my claim again. They knew I also suffer from PTSD and during the call I told them I couldn't cope with going to tribunal. I suggest you do the same. They asked me to send in more evidence and I wrote what was my 2nd Mandatory Reconsideration letter referring to medical evidence they had not used. Each time they review a claim, and they can do this anytime before your appeal, they will send the case back to the assessment company for a new so called health professional to look at. This they did for me and I had a phone call to offer me an award I was happy to accept. Why should you make yourself suffer by having to wait for months and then going through the trauma of an Appeal. Don't let them do that to you. In saying that you should still apply for the appeal so as not to run out of time and to keep all your options open. Good Luck and I hope I have helped..     
  • Geoark
    Geoark Community member Posts: 1,463 Disability Gamechanger
    @Mischeefmanaged sorry to hear what you are going through.

    I am getting ready to go to work but wanted to point out you can appeal the decision and ask for a paper decision. This way you do not have to appear, the tribunal will assess your appeal based on the evidence presented in writing.

    If this is an option you would like to consider someone among the benefit advisers may be able to offer more advice.

    @BenefitsTrainingCo any advice?

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • dogfather
    dogfather Community member Posts: 61 Connected
    hi sorry to hear about your issue, I hope you make progress with your PIP review / tribunal. If you have paid your stamp why can't you claim contribution based ESA. I managed to get contribution based ESA once my SSP ran out. If you are placed in the support group ( after interview ) you get this until they decide to review your case. I think it would be worthwhile checking if you can claim this benefit. 
  • Justice
    Justice Community member Posts: 197 Pioneering
    @Mischeefmanaged . I too am very sorry to hear all that you, and your Husband are having to go through. @Wildlife is right. If you can muster up the energy then DO complain, DO call them, take names, log times of calls, and of course keep a copy of everything you send to them, and send anything by recorded delivery. I was thinking along the same lines regarding contribution based ESA, and so I agree with @dogfather too. I guess it depends on how much National Insurance you have paid to date. My Husband was in receipt of the contribution based one, this is not means tested at all. I would double check too about your Husband, and the carers allowance. It is true that he will get no money from it, but may get a letter saying that he would be eligible if he earned less ( I forget what they call it), but it does mean that you get more help with other benefits such as rent and council tax, for example. I am not a benefits adviser, just speaking from our own experience, so do get some professional help to point you in the right direction. I am in the throws of writing a book about the plight of the Disabled in the UK, with particular reference to the minefield known as the Benefits System.I am including in the book real stories, many of my new found Friends on Scope have contributed. I do NOT use real names of course, and often change location, so no worry there. I would love to include your story if you are willing? I did ask Scope Office if it was ok to mention this here before I joined. I am not sure how to send you a private message so if you are interested please mail me, and I will tell you more. The email is one I only use for the Book fallingondeafearspip@gmail.com I have also just started closed Disability and Benefits group on face Book. it isn't a place to give advice ( That is what Scope is for), I hope for it to become more of a virtual drop in centre where we can share problems, support each other, and of course share any fun things too. If you want to join us there drop me a mail and I will invite you. It doesn't matter if you decide not to share your story you are still very welcome in the group, that goes for anyone else reading this too. I look forward to hearing from you if you are interested. Take Care, don't let the B( you know what) grind you down :-)
  • wildlife
    wildlife Community member Posts: 1,293 Pioneering
    edited July 2017
    @Justice It's called "Underlying Entitlement to Carer's Allowance". MOH has it and we get more Housing Benefit and pay less Council Tax because of it..
  • Justice
    Justice Community member Posts: 197 Pioneering
    edited July 2017
    Wildlife Thanks for that. I should have remembered as I have just received the letter which I needed to take with me for our Housing benefit, and Council Tax Support application. It is a very logical name but seems to be one that refuses to set in my brain :-)

  • Mischeefmanaged
    Mischeefmanaged Community member Posts: 5 Connected
    Thank you for all your replies! Unfortunately I can't get ESA because I took time out of employment to do a post grad teaching degree so they said I now haven't made enough NI contributions, even after teaching for 18 months. Apparently trying to better myself for my family has now had a negative impact on me! 

    My husband can't get carers allowance despite social services assessing him and registering gum as my career because he earns just over £300 a week, which is over the threshold. 

    With regards to Pip, I put in a huge complaint to Capita. A few weeks later I received a letter with am appointment for a Pip assessment. Confused as obviously I've already had one I, I called them and they said that there were some discrepancies with my original assessment and I'd need to do another one. I called the DWP and they told me this never happens and to take it as a "good thing". They then called me back in a bit of a panic and mumbled their way through the call, suggesting that Capita had an "internal audit" and I had been randomly selected for a second assessment. It doesn't sound right at all to me. 

    I had the assessment on Friday. It took over 2 hours this time. It was awful, I had panic attacks and she made me do the exercises despite me crying in pain. She asked questions like who painted my nails and what caused my PTSD and kept pushing and pushing the triggers. I can't believe I had to go through it all again. 

    My first assessment is waiting for a tribunal date and who knows what will happen after this second one. I just know we can't live on £300 a week for much longer as everything is suffering :(
  • wildlife
    wildlife Community member Posts: 1,293 Pioneering
    edited July 2017
    Hi Charlotte, You are not alone in finding the PIP process a traumatic experience. Have you rung DWP for your assessor's report? It isn't sent out automatically you have to request it. That will give you a good idea what your award will be as DWP have no medical knowledge so they use the points suggested by the assessors. Hope that helps..
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    As far as I can make out the PIP system relies on questions set by people who have no contact with or experience of disabled people and, from what I've heard, little or no experience of mental illness. Consequently their ideas are based the simple philosophy of missing limbs and accident damage. The whole thing falls apart when faced with the multitude of invisible illnesses. The whole thing has fallen into a great big hole in the ground so the necessary complete redesign has not been scheduled and probably will never happen.

    I am still on DLA and dread the PIP assessment I will have to go through because outwardly I look perfectly healthy. Because of multiple deregistrations by surgeries that couldn't remotely cope with my problems I now have yet another doctor that doesn't have a clue and all attempts to sort it out have been completely ignored. (A deregistration is when the surgery sends you a letter giving you 7 days from the day it is typed to find a new doctor or have no doctor at all) Earlier this year I had no doctor for 3 months because I couldn't face the disagreements involved in trying to get a new doctor to begin to understand my problems.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Seren27
    Seren27 Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    Hi Ive just read your post on twitter -Im from Ammanford, Carmarthenshire. Have you tried speaking to 'Catch Up' in Llanelli? They were great and helped me win my appeal. xx 
  • Ros
    Ros Community member Posts: 12 Connected
    Martin64 - My daughter was also fined for improperly claiming free prescriptions. When I looked into it I found she had incorrectly been put onto the contributions-based version of ESA, even though she has been severely disabled from birth and has never paid any National Insurance Contributions.  When I discovered this, I asked them to correct it.  They said that would send me the form to fill in, and apologised that it was about 20 pages long.  It turned out to be 42 pages long.  Then they checked and found out that I had in fact sent in this form 18 months earlier but they had decided not to action it.  My reply was action it now then, to save me filling in a new one, and they said they couldn't because they had thrown it away!  At this point I contacted my MP and he got them to switch her to the correct benefit without any more form-filling.  But the crucial point is that during this process, and in the course of numerous phonecalls to try and sort it out, no less than 3 different DWP staff on 3 separate occasions told me it's DWP policy to put people on the contributions-related benefit because it pays a lower sum, and then it's for the disabled person to find that out and challenge it.  So my advice to anyone applying for ESA is demand to be told which version you've been put on, and demand to be put on the correct one.
  • emkins40
    emkins40 Community member Posts: 28 Connected
    Finally I won after being messed around for 2 years at one point being told I had won my appeal to then have it overturned and return to higher tribunal. I wrote weekly to my mp, the right hon David Gauke ( minister for DWP) the head of operations at DWP and the prime minister plus Jeremy Corbyn. I had 2 letters from 10 Downing street, no response from anyone else and my local MP said he would represent me if the issue was not resolved. Within a month they were sick of my letters, my award was reviewed high rate for both and for a 10 year period. The only way to succeed is to not give up. Go straight to the top it's worth the stamps and continued pressure. No matter what! I have not heard of anyone who got pips first time unless they were sadly terminally ill. Keep on fighting as you will win eventually. Love and peace. 
  • Epilepsy_Patient
    Epilepsy_Patient Community member Posts: 13 Connected
    My sympathies to everyone who has contributed to this post especially Mischeef the first person. My experience was similar. I have Epilepsy with mild Absence seizures, about 3 to 12 times a month, for which I take a hold of medication. I taught abroad and thoroughly enjoyed it, yes even with the Epilepsy. I hit a problem when I lost both parents in 2008, the inheritance counts as Savings, and the threshold of 16,000 is laughable with today's Rents (Owning a house for me has gone, a dream I will never realise). Tried for ESA, PIP but all I get is NI credits. I am 50, single, so I don't have so many commitments, and shy away from relationships, don't want to upset other people. I too have written to my MP but to no avail. I have been out of work for 4 months, I can't get back in. Basically the DWP or DSS, says you have money, you can live off that, Rent is 550 a month. To get a flat I had to strike a deal, sign up and pay 6 months rent up front, so at least I have a roof over my head. So the Government is doing well out of me and so is the Landlord, because from my experience, phone up a letting agent, the first question was "What job are you doing?". Mischeefs story was interesting because I too have thought of going back to Uni, but I am running out of money. OK I think I have said enough. I wish everyone on the site well, and I know there are people worse off than myself. We all have 1 thing in common, victims particularly of these last 2 Governments.
  • dwpeedonme
    dwpeedonme Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Due to mental health issues that include self harm and neglecting myself, I have more or less been unemployed since leaving school 20 years ago. I was in reciept of DLA for 5 years but the dwp have tried all they can to prevent me from transferring to PIP. I had to return their form to atos by the 1st of January. Because it was Christmas time it actually meant they had given me about a week to complete the form and send evidence. I managed to put something togther and sent it off. I then got a letter stating I needed to travel for 2 hours on a train in order to be assessed by atos. My GP rang them and told them this wasn't possible due to anxiety. The appointment was cancelled but they were soon back on at me. I was told to attend an appointment an hour away. Again I told them I couldn't attend. 6 months after sending them my application the dwp wrote again and said I had failed to attend an appointment and unless I gave good reason for not letting them know I wouldn't be coming, my dla would stop and my pip claim would be disallowed. I told them I had no idea that I had an assessment because I didn't get any letters or telephone calls making one. I said in 20 years I've never ignored the dwp. I've always made them aware I would or wouldn't be attending their assessments etc. Unfortunately my reasons weren't accepted and my last dla payment was yesterday. I've asked for a mandatory reconsideration and sent a leter fom my GP which states I cannot travel please do a home assessment if needs be. NOW I WAIT. I wait for whatever news it is they are going to give me and fear it will be bad news. I can't understand why they are doing this to me. I have an autism assessment soon and find this very difficult to deal with. I've been self harming and my GP is very concerned, but doesn't want me overly involved with mental health services because they may just drug me and mess up my autism assessment . I am not sure how long my GP will keep that mind set though. If I get any worse then maybe they will have no other choice but to send me to a shrink. Its unreal how the dwp can do this to people. I have threatened to send them my blood, and a few years ago I actually did send their forms back covered in blood. Its not a pleasent state to get in, but they just don't listen. There have been plenty of people die due to DWP decisions. A simple search on google using words such as dwp atos benefits cut death should reveal a long list of people that killed themselves shortly after they were declared fit for work. The poor chap Mark Wood sticks in my mind. He died weighing just over 5 stone. The dwp declared him fit for work. There are loads of similar stories of people with dying or taking their own lives due to DWP decisions. I forget his name, but one the guy died iand when found he apparently had 6 tea bags and £6 to his name. Well its very possible that my name will be added to the list of tradgic deaths. And no thats not a threat or anything. It is simply fact. How can someone that is socially isolated, suffering depression and anxiety, as well as possibly being autistic supposed to deal with this nonesense. I can't afford to live without PIP payments. I pay someone out of the DLA to do a lot of the things I wouldn't do. They post letters, make calls, attend meetings etc etc etc. I can't afford to pay for their help anymore. I just have fingers crossed the dwp see some sense and start paying dla or pip again in the near future. I don't think I can face an appeal and a court, however if I do go to court I will go with a noose around my neck and I will show the judge what a nutter I can be. And I know that sounds bad and dodgy, but some publicity for people going through similar *** is needed and thats the sort of thing to grab the judges attention and the attention of  joe public..
  • Ehit
    Ehit Community member Posts: 24 Courageous

    My name is Charlotte, I'm 34 and I live in Carmarthenshire, West Wales. I was a Primary School Teacher before disability made it impossible for me to work, and I would love to be able to go back to teaching one day. I have Fibromyalgia, a spinal injury, osteo-arthritis, severe anxiety and PTSD as well as some other health complaints, which have made life extremely difficult for both me and my family.

    I had to leave work in March 2017. I absolutely loved my job – teaching was what I was born to do and I went back to University as a mature student to achieve my goals, which I did despite my disabilities. However, towards the end of 2016, my conditions worsened and I had to go on long term sick leave. This has had a devastating effect on my mental health, as I have gone from being an award winning career woman, to living in one room of my house and spending most of my time alone.

    I have now left work permanently, which has thrown me into a very poor financial situation. I have debt, no savings, and although my husband works full time, his wages aren't enough to cover our outgoings. I applied for Employment Support Allowance, which was turned down because I have a husband that works full time. It was the same story for Working Tax Credits – my husband earns very slightly over the threshold, when in reality, his wages are just over £300 a week. This doesn't cover rent, bills, debts, fuel, utilities, food, clothes and other necessities. Housing Benefit have offered us £1 a week off our rent, which is laughable. We are right in the middle of the “Benefit Trap”, where we are not entitled to anything more than a pound a week because one of us works full time.

    Young woman - Charlotte - looking at camera

    My husband was advised to either stop working entirely, or work less than 16 hours a week. The government seem to be actively encouraging people to work less, in order to receive more money! It just doesn't make sense. He doesn't want to give up his job because he loves it there, and it is a form of respite as when he is at home, he is a full time carer and parent. He does everything in the house including laundry, cooking, shopping, cleaning, pet care and looking after our son. He also looks after me. He washes me, dresses me and feeds me, even sacrificing his own lunch breaks to bring me food, at the detriment of his health. He has lost a large amount of weight, is now severely underweight and has had to seek medical attention himself because he has no time to eat.

    Occupational Health have offered to raise our toilet and convert our bathroom to a wet room which is much appreciated. I'll be able to shower more independently. They cannot help with anything else, such as personal care or food. They have provided me with a self-propelled wheelchair, which I cannot propel due to pain in my arms and neck. Even if I could use the chair, it does not fit through the doors in my house and I have stairs leading to downstairs and outside. I cannot access my living room, kitchen or garden at all. I need an electric wheelchair but the NHS cannot provide this to me due to funding cuts and I was told to buy my own, which obviously I am not in a position to do. Therefore, I am facing remaining in my bedroom alone on a long term basis.

    I have recently applied for Personal Independence Payments. This process has been harrowing. On application, I felt positive. I knew that as a chronically ill, mentally ill and physically disabled person, I was entitled to maximum PIP benefits. I undertook a mock assessment with the Citizens Advice Bureau and scored 74 points, entitling me to higher benefits for both mobility and independence. When it came to my real assessment, I had to cancel the first one, due to severe panic attacks. The second assessment went ahead in my home and I spent most of it shaking, sobbing and telling my husband that I was sure I was going to die. I physically could not move from my bed as I was in too much pain and the assessor was reassuring, discouraged me from moving and told me that as I was clearly severely distressed, he could come back at another time, which we declined as I just wanted it over.

    Charlotte with her son and husband signing a marriage register

    When I received my PIP report, I was floored. We all were. I had scored 0 points for the first section and 4 points for the second, denying me any benefits at all. The report itself was paragraph after paragraph of blatant lies. The assessor had said that because he didn't see me move during the assessment, he deemed me able to walk, get into the bath, go downstairs and complete all aspects of self-care, despite the fact that he told me not to move because I was visibly in too much pain. He had ignored medical reports, letters from the mental health team and the fact that I was being given a wet room and a wheelchair by Occupational Therapy. He deemed me fit to work. He had sat in my bedroom, witnessing me screaming and crying in terror and then wrote that I was “calm and relaxed throughout the assessment”. It was absolutely shocking and the stress and anger caused me to have a flare up of my illness.

    I had to put together a Mandatory Reconsideration, which addressed every untruth in the report that were so extensive that I wrote 22 pages, not including supporting evidence from my GP and mental health team. I have just been informed that this has also been declined. I have to now appeal again and take the case to a tribunal, meaning that I must attend court to fight for what I am entitled to. This will be extremely difficult for me, not just physically but mentally – it was hard enough having the initial assessment in my home. I haven't left my house for months and I do not know how I will be able to go to court. Meanwhile, we are spiralling further into debt. With just my husband's wages coming in, we are having to start looking into food banks and may face homelessness.

    I find it very hard to accept my illness, as I do not want to be stuck in bed, living a lonely life of pain and boredom. I find it even harder to accept that the government is now making it as hard as possible for me to just exist. Surely this isn't how we should be treating our sick people?


    Tell me about your experience of benefits as a disabled person. 


  • Ehit
    Ehit Community member Posts: 24 Courageous
    I have a similar story. I have severe fibromyalgia and had to give up my job as the Inclusion Manager at a primary school, which I loved!!! I have debts that weren't debts when I was working. I have my PIP assessment on Friday and today I'm stuck in bed, which means by Friday I will be much better. It's a vicious circle. I want to get better (I know there's no cure), better than I am now, but if I do will I lose my PIP? I've applied for access to my pension on the grounds of ill health, but because I 'may get better in the next 17 years' it was refused! I'm in the process of appealing. I'd love to get back in the classroom, but 1 I'd need to find a job, 2 I wouldn't cope in the classroom full time, the sensory overload would knock me out!!! 3 who would want to employers someone who couldn't be an outstanding teacher. I now work as an Associate Lecturer, which means I don't get paid over the summer break - ESA phone call is being made later today. Just remember your debts weren't debts when you were working. You could have afforded to pay them!!

Brightness