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What is Wrong

hanaban
hanaban Community member Posts: 9 Listener
edited October 2021 in Autism and neurodiversity

Biggest problem I'm having with friends is I don't seem to be able to understand what the other person is going to think when they read my message and when they get the wrong end of the stick and say I'm upsetting people when I'm not I just get upset last night I couldn't sleep I had tinnitus badly it was like grasshopper buzzing. My question is why can't I understand things and sometimes say things will upset others and why can't I think in words only pictures. I can't seem to get what other people think. I can't get my thoughts down on paper very easily. I just get upset about it because I know what I want to say but the other person doesn't seem to give me enough time to explain what I mean. I get upset with myself my parents sometimes. I think I'm doing something wrong even my cousin got upset with me only because I was trying to stop her dog and my dog fighting with each other. Everything is just getting a bit difficult to cope with. I can't read as well now and my eyes to give up on me when there's a lot of it. I do hope felicity will do more with me because I don't think I have many left. 

Comments

  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,671 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @hanaban welcome to the community, Im am sorry you are having a tough time.

    Do you have an impairment?
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
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  • Dasiydo
    Dasiydo Community member Posts: 93 Courageous
    I have say promble at why fail my English exam because could not understand the Questions I too have misunderstanding with dyspraxia I be called rude name like too day I volutar work at farm decided go English tea and ice cream and hear this person say "At mealth group" It upset me wrip my tears when try volutar recovery mealth health and wonder if still volutar at Scope shops? Then though training as Volutar Richmond fellowship sad it got close down and thought I show those idots still worry about it but for now got invited birthday party and wedding party both on same day
    V.shaw
  • hanaban
    hanaban Community member Posts: 9 Listener
    Sam_Scope said:
    Hi @hanaban welcome to the community, Im am sorry you are having a tough time.

    Do you have an impairment?
    Sam_Scope said:
    Hi @hanaban welcome to the community, Im am sorry you are having a tough time.

    Do you have an impairment?

  • hanaban
    hanaban Community member Posts: 9 Listener
    Not sure have  characteristics of dyslexia 

  • Geoark
    Geoark Community member Posts: 1,463 Disability Gamechanger
    hanaban said:

    My question is why can't I understand things and sometimes say things will upset others and why can't I think in words only pictures. 

    Hello @hanaban and welcome to the community.

    I have highlighted the section of your post which is where I believe most of your issues stem from.

    When you think of a dog do your see a flat picture of a dog, or a 3 dimensional image of a dog? I suspect the second one is the case.

    Your mind processes information in  a very creative and complex way. If you consider the mind as a computer which processes the information we receive, or give it, most of us use a simplistic language based input which builds words into sentences, then paragraphs. It is a slow and laborious way of doing it.

    For visual thinkers images are quickly put together and evolve as more information is provided. It is not surprising then that you struggle with the slower audiotory-sequential constructs most of us use.

    People who were visual thinkers and had similar issues includes, Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci and Thomas Edison!

    Unfortunately our education system is set up to teach the majority, which can  be hostile to those who think differently often resulting in low esteem and wasted potential.


    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • Geoark
    Geoark Community member Posts: 1,463 Disability Gamechanger
    Generally understanding your learning style can help a great deal in understanding how you best learn new things and can help you find ways to help yourself.

    You can do a simple test to find your learning style at http://www.educationplanner.org/students/self-assessments/learning-styles.shtml

    My results were:
    Auditory 35
    Visual 35
    Tactile 30

    This has changed significantly over the years since I first did a similar test which showed I strongly favoured visual learning, and tactile was stronger than auditory. 

    As a visual learner I do better if I have a basic understanding of the overall picture rather than the minute details. Once I have this I am able to slot the smaller things within a framework and see how they work in the grander scheme of things, I can then concentrate on the smaller details.

    I use a lot of visual tools to help  process new information. I use clouds a lot to begin breaking down the overall picture and often find using coloured pencils helps to quickly differentiate different strands. When studying I found this process of breaking things down further and further meant when it came to writing assignments I already had a good idea of what I wanted to say.

    Being exposed to different types of learning has changed my strengths over time. Talking to others about their experiences and ideas has strengthened my auditory learning style. I have also found that often I would have ideas but unsure of how to move forward. Sometimes something mentioned in passing and unrelated would trigger these images from the past and show a way forward. So I am not surprised that these two feature equally in how I learn now.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
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  • Geoark
    Geoark Community member Posts: 1,463 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @DannyMoore

    Thank you for sharing. As I work a lot with spreadsheets, including creating them, I keep a lot of simple examples in my head which I fall back on. I also try to get a good estimate of what I think the answer should be so that I am not completely dependent on the results I see.

    For example, I recently set up an Excel workbook so an organisation could record their returned satisfaction survey, and then provide the results, including charts. It currently runs on across 14 sheets. I tested it multiple times, picking up minor mistakes until I thought it was clear of any mistakes. I also agreed to input the data this year to test it on live data. One minor mistake was left, not so noticeable on the small sample testing I did but with a large amount of data the skewered data became noticeable.

    When I was a child I could read, but it took effort. Then a teacher suggested a book to me by John Wyndham. It resonated with me because many of his books look at how society views people who are different. There were other things as well, but it was the first time I read a book and got engrossed in it and for the first time rather than seeing the words the world came alive in my mind. I could see the story unfold in my mind as if I was an observer. After that experience reading got easier. The only book he wrote I could not get into was Day of the Triffids.

    I haven't spoken to my daughter about how she thinks, but suspect that she is a visual thinker as well. When she was little we used to make up stories together, a killer worm that lived in a local park, my ninja worms who defended me against her assassins. Also she uses imagery a lot, even today. If she wants to tell me about something that happened at work, rather than just tell me she has to 'set the scene'.

    My own theory, and it is just that a theory, is that visual thinkers often replay something that happened to try and understand why it happened. As a result minor experiences become too significant. I have a poor memory and can remember little of what has happened to me over the years, what I do remember are a lot of bad experiences. I used to obsess over these but as I got older I realised they were insignificant in the scheme of things. I cannot change what happened 40, 30 or even 20 years ago, most of them are probably not even remembered by those involved and all it did was to continue undermining my confidence.

    Sorry longer reply than I intended.

    As an individual I stood alone.
    As a member of a group I did things.
    As part of a community I helped to create change!

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
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  • hanaban
    hanaban Community member Posts: 9 Listener
    Thank you everyone 

  • hanaban
    hanaban Community member Posts: 9 Listener
    I have CP and I sometimes wish people would understand my learning and my way of thinking sometimes I can do miss understanding what people and they say I've upset them but I really don't know what I've done wrong 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
    edited August 2017
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