Liz kendall cruel autism / afhd

Hi we will know what the government plans are tomorrow.

Yes I know.

You would get more information and advise if you post on the main benefits thread at the top of page one.

I hear you @Catherine21 and, yes, of course it does make a big difference that my kids have me. Not only am i not disabled myself, I'm also a trained speech and language therapist (though i have not done that for many years now) and that helped me fight for my kids through the school system.

I haven't suffered the trauma you suffered and am very fortunate in being mentally stable and well.

But i do have some insight into your suffering as i intimated to you on another thread - i was brought up in domestic violence but, fortunately, my dad worked away for months at a time so we did have long, settled periods with my Mum who was excellent and then awful times when my Dad was home.

Some similarities to your situation - my dad used to get my brother and me to move furniture behind the living room door to block my mum out and call her names - lot of food thrown up the walls. Dad a heavy drinker, lost work and driving licence.

As you know, my mum was a suicide when i was 20. I was very fortunate in being quite astute and, in those days, there were higher education grants (not loans) and i managed to get away and make a new life.

Then, i had a baby at 26 and that's what caused me to have that bad psychosis that needed ECT. I on a psychiatric unit for a month with all kinds of psychiatric illnesses.

And i do totally remember what it was like to be psychotic!

My brother was 18 when my mum died and didn't fare so well - homeless most of his life. I should think he is dead by now. I haven't seen him since the mid 90s but he was alive during the pandemic still in a tent and bad health. He will be 56 now. He is almost certainly autistic and started to attract the attention of the Police in his teens. He was in and out of psychiatric units in his 20s with multiple overdoses.

I shouldn't think he's fit for much work, wherever he is!

Childhood trauma is life lasting for sure. In my case, it seems to have given me a determination and resilience that's seen me through a few tough times. But it broke my brother.

I'm sorry it has had such a devastating impact on your life too, and hope you do have some happy times. You know, i do believe that inside every one of us is strength and character that can do incredible things. People do come through the most desperate of circumstances and go on to find joy in life.

@MW123. I agree with you. It's tragic what's happening to young people. Poverty, education, the pandemic - all these factors have had an impact. But, many, many disabled and poorly young people could be doing something.

And, if they are too poorly to do anything right now, they can have hope that they can go on to do things in the future.

Not at all @Catherine21 - i owe my stability to being a bit older than my brother and being a girl. And my Mum was mentally sound too so i did have lots of very 'normal' experiences in my childhood. We lived in the same house right through and i went to the same primary and same secondary.

My mum had come from a very poor working class family but had had the benefit of passing the 11+ and going to grammar school. She was a nurse before marrying my Dad.

So she was very pro-education and i did have the benefit of growing up with lots of books in our house.

There's no doubt it's all that time spent with my Mum in those early years that set me up for life.

And Church!! Lol i'm not religious at all really now as in i don't go to church or anything but my Mum used to put us to Sunday School and church things to get us out of the house when my Dad was home and i really, really did believe God was looking over me.

In fact, i always have had a feeling i am guided in life and i'm sure it must come from all that early messaging. I went to a church school too and really prayed hard that things would get better at home.

My mum started suffering a lot of abdominal pain when i was 14 i think. She was back and forth to the doctor, hospital etc but they said it was psychosomatic. She made a very rational decision to end her life. It was more like euthanasia really as she chatted it all through very sensibly and she really had explored all options trying to get rid of the pain. She was fed up with her life but didn't have clinical depression or any mood disorder.

She had a theory my dad was slowly poisoning her and i think her theory held more than a bit of water as, funnily, she started to feel this pain just as she was getting back out to work to get money together to leave my Dad.

He didn't want to lose ½ the value of our house so had refused a divorce.

Honestly, my life was pretty crazy really - how i turned out so normal i really don't know😂

But i think it's down to me being bonded well with a good Mum who had my best interests at heart.

And i haven't done anything totally amazing in my life. I became a self employed childminder which worked well for me and fitted in with my kids. But i'm very ordinary now really.