Hi to all. My sister is being nasty to me about my past. What can I do to help myself?

Sparklebright63
Sparklebright63 Scope Member Posts: 171 Contributor
edited January 2023 in Families and carers
My other sister who lives in Ireland is been nasty to me about my past because I find it very hard to deal with what happened she's says I should forget what happened and move on but their is so much to deal with trauma what I've been through she not me she hasn't had my experiences and she dosnt understand how I feel about everything.

What can I do to help myself and I cannot communicate with her while she's been nasty to me.


Sparklebright63

Comments

  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,443 Championing
    Hi @Sparklebright63 :) I'm sorry to hear that your sister isn't being very understanding of your trauma. This is quite common, unfortunately. It often comes from a place of fear or ignorance, rather than ill intention, I think. But this isn't always the case, of course! 

    In terms of what you can do to help yourself, I suppose that's down to what you feel you need right now. Here are some ideas of things I might do if I were in your position:
    • take some time away from speaking to the person
    • write down my thoughts
    • talk things through with someone who's more understanding
    • practice self-care
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,925 Championing
    edited January 2023
    It sounds really difficult that your other sister is being nasty to you @Sparklebright63. You have been really brave in sharing this with us. 

    No one has the right to do or say anything that makes you feel horrible about yourself. Everyone deals with things differently and it is ok if it takes you longer than others to deal with things.

    Lived experience is really valuable and is the most insightful. Hence why you understand this more than some other people. 

    It sounds really positive that you are starting with putting boundaries in place to take care of yourself. In terms of helping yourself, what would this look like at the moment?

    For example - is it coping with what your sister says or is it reducing/preventing your sister from saying these things?

    If the first then is there anything that usually makes you feel more at peace, happier and helps you to cope with similar things?

    If the second then I would encourage you to talk to your sister about how this makes you feel. However, I would say this is only appropriate if you feel able and comfortable to and feel this would reduce it.

    Please keep us in the loop with how you are doing and if we can do anything else to support you. We are all here for you and listening to you.

    Take care for now and we will look forward to, hopefully, hearing from you again soon and supporting you further with this  :)
  • Sparklebright63
    Sparklebright63 Scope Member Posts: 171 Contributor
    Hi to you all,

    Thankyou for Listening to me Everyone I will mention this when I go and see my gp on the 27th of January and see what she says is best.

    Sparklebright63
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,925 Championing
    Hope your GP is able to support you with this @Sparklebright63. Wishing you the best of luck with this.

    In the meantime, we are all here for you and listening to you if you would like to talk to us further about this or if there's anything else we can do to support you  :)

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