Cp and behaviour

tonismith

Hi this is not something I'm used to doing I have a 10 year old daughter with left sided cp  global development delay autism adhd. Lately I feel like I've hit a brick wall with behaviour. She's so angry all the time. Doesn't care how her words can affect other people has no empathy for anything. Constantly being rude and lashing out. Behaviour has always been a issue but always been something I've been able to overcome but this time I don't no what else todo I've tried talking to her. I've been consistent with everything she knows she shouldn't be doing the things she doing but doesn't seem to care. Any advise would be hugely appreciated 

Many thanks
Toni 

Tori_Scope

Welcome to the community @tonismith Thank you for joining us, and for telling us about your experience. 

I'm not a parent, so I can't offer advice from that perspective. I hope that some other parents who've experienced similar will find and respond to your post soon. 

I'll tag our specialist information officer for cerebral palsy @Richard_Scope in here, in case he has any advice for you. 

I'm also wondering whether you might find it helpful to access one of our family services, such as Parents Connect. Perhaps you could take a look, and let us know what you think? 

Is your daughter receiving any support at the moment, such as from CAMHS? Is her school supportive?

Richard_Scope

Hi @tonismith

Sorry to read that you are going through such a tough time at the moment, I'm sure you will have tried most, if not all of these suggestions but I will share them so you have something to refer back to.

Management of cerebral palsy temper tantrums is essential. 

The harsh reality of life is that often, people with disabilities are still expected to go through their daily lives the same way people without disabilities do. 

While a temper tantrum in a child is typical, a temper tantrum in a teen or adult is usually looked down upon. Therefore, it’s ideal to address temper tantrums early and teach your child more effective ways to communicate their feelings. 

Below, we’ll go over mistakes to avoid and some of the most effective ways to manage temper tantrums in children with cerebral palsy. 

1. Avoid Giving In 

When your child throws a temper tantrum over not getting what they want, the worst thing to do is give in. 

Giving in only reinforces the idea that the child can get what they want by acting out. While it may quiet them down, you’re not fixing the underlying problem. 

2. Behavioural Therapy 

Children that continue to act out as they get older are often not developing the social skills necessary to effectively communicate their feelings and emotions. 

Consider taking your child to a behavioural therapist to further work on developing social skills like: 

• Problem-solving 

• Controlling impulses 

• Negotiating 

• Social expectations 

• Delayed gratification 

Behavioural therapy will teach your child that there are better ways to cope with frustration than having a temper tantrum. 

3. Time-Outs 

Sometimes, you just need to take your child away from the situation causing the temper tantrum. 

Generally, children have short attention spans and will quickly get over what they were overreacting to if you take them out of the situation. 

Calmly explain to your child why they are in a time-out and allow for an appropriate amount of quiet, alone time. Generally, the length of the time-out should be about one minute long per each year of age. With this guideline, a five-year-old would have about five minutes in time-out, while a three-year old’s time-out would be about three minutes long. This will give them time to cool off and reflect on their own before returning to their activity. 

4. Be Positive 

Diverting your child’s attention away from what they can’t do and encouraging them to do things that they’re good at will help relieve frustration and boost confidence. 

Acknowledge and praise your child for positive behaviour. This will help them distinguish the difference between good and bad behaviours. 

5. Encourage Emotional Self-Regulation 

Teaching children to find positive ways to deal with their emotions allows them to self-regulate. Emotional self-regulation is the ability to “check-in” with yourself and use strategies to ensure your emotions and behavioural reactions are appropriate for the situation. 

This is ideal for older children, but even younger children can learn to better regulate their emotions with adult guidance. 

If your child feels as though they are getting close to having a temper tantrum, having some solid strategies to manage their emotions is essential. 

Self-regulation strategies can include: 

• Deep breathing with counting: Count as you take 5 deep breaths, breathing in through the nose like smelling flowers, exhaling out through the mouth like blowing out candles 

• Self-hugging: Giving yourself a hug (or squeezing a pillow) provides deep pressure, calming the sensory systems and often emotions as well 

• Take a break: Go somewhere different and do a relaxing activity (colouring, listening to music, etc.) 

Cerebral Palsy Temper Tantrums: Summary 

Learning difficulties, motor impairments, and speech disorders can make it difficult for children with cerebral palsy to communicate. This can be very frustrating and result in temper tantrums. 

While temper tantrums are normal in young children, they become less socially acceptable as the child gets older. 

By developing better social skills, reflecting on their actions, and focusing on things they’re good at, children with cerebral palsy can learn to better express and cope with their frustrations. 

tonismith

@Tori_Scope the school are helping as much as they can they are finding things more difficult at the moment aswell. No we are not seeing camhs. @Richard_Scope thank you. I am trying these things just not with much luck. But I'll keep trying. Thank you for the ideas 

Richard_Scope

It might be worth contacting Camhs, @tonismith. Or perhaps the National Autistic Society's behaviour tips might be of help?