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Things you miss doing ...

WelshBlue Community member Posts: 768 Disability Gamechanger
Sat here at silly o'clock and ruminating about how life can change before you know it.

Mental health issues aside, my physical ailments are Fibromyalgia and all the wonderful things that brings, permanent Vibration White Finger so my grip is pretty non existent and joint issues from 35 years of 8 hour days using a chainsaw. Also the dignity sapping bladder incontinence

I've gone from a job I loved - dangerous but very rewarding ... made me feel alive.
My community work coaching kids at football from all ages and the hobby of carpentry with timber I milled myself

Now my days are filled with moaning and groaning, no motivation and living life through my family

What do you miss ... but more importantly - how have you filled that void


  • Oxonlady
    Oxonlady Scope Member Posts: 566 Pioneering
    Hi @WelshBlue, it's very difficult on mind and body to become incapacitated after many years of being active. So I understand your frustration.

    What I find the most upsetting is almost total lack of movement. I wish I could walk again and move my arms more freely. 
    I have various conditions and illnesses, among them a broken hip which can't be operated on and severe Osteoarthritis in both shoulders which is so bad that it's restricting my arm movement on both sides.

    I had gradually adapted and began an Art Project in 2016. I was quite content, getting on with my canvasses and feeling good from the sense of achievement it gave me. 
    By the end of 2021 however, my arms deteriorated to such an extent that I have been unable to carry out my artwork. This has been a crushing blow. I feel that I have lost my life's purpose. I still have my designs and my canvasses, some at various stages of development and I'm praying to get better. If I could at least paint again and be able to walk as far as the shower that would make such a vast difference to the quality of my life!

    How do you cope with your problems? 
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
    Personally I try not to think of what I can no longer do but focus on what I can do as if I didn't I would always be dwelling on if only 

    But to answer your question my main disabilities are being an amputee and severely vision impaired amongst other conditions.  

    I miss my independence of being able to go out on my own , not seeing the world and the restrictions it has brought to my sons life too being a single mum who can't take him places and he has to take me . 

    But it has given us a really special bond we are a team and deal with it together and I'm sure has made him the compassionate caring teenager he is 

    I miss my friends who no longer exist , driving and working but on a positive I can have a glass of wine when out as I'm never driving.  I always have a seat eg my wheelchair and no longer have to juggle child care and work 

    So every cloud has a silver lining if only I could see tye clouds 

  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Community member Posts: 12,420 Disability Gamechanger
    I never thought i would hear myself say i miss work, with the 5 am alarm calls, i used to say bring on retirement, nice ly ins and go to nice places for us to walk around and enjoy our surroundings.
    Now my body wakes me up with pain, but at least i can rest at home in my comfy chair and not worry about surviving my working day.
    I don't miss the constant moaning from younger staff members about how hard the job was, but i do miss the hussle and bussle of my working life and looking forward to the Weekends or holidays.
    The biggest thing i do miss is our walking, we'd walk for miles, in the country side, cliff walks etc - now we can only walk short distances, have to make sure there are toilets handy and make sure the ground is flat, so no risk of tripping or jaring the body.
    I am very lucky that my husband can drive and we can go to nature reserves and just sit and look at the all the birds on the water, even if we can't walk around the lakes etc we can still enjoy the great out doors.
  • durhamjaide2001
    durhamjaide2001 Community Co-Production Group, Scope Member Posts: 11,210 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2023
    Going to Costas at college 
    Being part of Creative Youth Oppunities 
    Working in Scopes charity shop I won't be able to do it again to August 
    Being part of the Girl Guides association 
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 55,632 Disability Gamechanger
    Going to work, not being able to do sports any more even bowling and playing pool.  Was pulled out the gym by consultant so miss that. Especially the sauna after. 

  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community member Posts: 768 Disability Gamechanger
    @Oxonlady ... thanks for the insight, 
    I've had arthoscopy done on both my shoulders over the past 18 months ... mainly done to clean up the joints to give me more movement without impingement, so your post is very sobering and humbling to me
    I'm sorry you've had to give up things you love and the things that help you cope.  Also the loss of your mobility ... makes me feel like my original post is a bit of a pity party.  A virtual hug to you

    I'm lucky to have a great support network, so even on the days I think I'm not coping I am because of them.
    Music is also a huge help to me.  Happy, sad, loud, downright depressing, it all gets me through

    @janer1967 ... again thanks for the insight.  
    I try not to focus on what I've lost, but when I do it just brings it home how in the grand scheme of things, I'm pretty lucky all in all.  

    Your son sounds like a credit to you ... and to himself. 
    You sound like you've got a great outlook despite the adversity.  Out of curiosity do you get phantom pains ... I ask because I lost a thumb and index finger to the bite of a chainsaw and now and again I get them and find myself flicking non-existent digits to see if I can feel anything.

    Parts of your post are some of the most profound I've heard in a while.  Thank you

    @SueHeath ... I can mirror many of the things you've wrote.  Thanks.

    I miss work a lot. I miss the craic with the lads ... practical jokes that would be seen as bullying in other places.  I still regret the 8 laxatives administered to the person who kept drinking the tea from our flasks ... 

    It's the things I took for granted that I miss the most but it's true; nothing lasts forever ... thankfully pain is included in that.  

    @durhamjaide2001... thank you.  I hope these things you miss are only temporary, that you can get out there again to live your life.  But Costas ?   :p
    I had to look up Postcrossing ... that's a very interesting hobby

    @Sandy_123 ... thanks .. again mirrors my life.  Especially the pool ... I miss those nights out in a league.
    I was meant to start exercise on prescription but my Psychologist wants me to focus on my head before I concentrate on something that could impact on me negatively.  Not for me to question ?

    Thanks everyone, for the look into your lives and the positivity youse radiate through words
    May you have some respite from pain and any sypmtoms impacting on you ... take care
  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
    @WelshBlue thankyou for your kind words I am very proud of my son . 
    In answer to your question yes I do get phantom pains very sharp intense nerve pain fortunately not that frequent 

    Take care of yourself great you have good support 
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