14 year old self harm and school

Cwyst
Cwyst Community member Posts: 6 Listener
Hi My 14 year old has been self harming at school. She is under Camhs and is getting lots of support.  School will not let her attend as they say she is too high risk and they are unable to supervise her.  She has been doing work at home for 5 weeks now but work is not always sent and it is very isolating for her (she would rather be back at school even if just for a couple of hours a day).  Any Advice?

Comments

  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,906 Championing
    Hello @Cwyst

    I'm so sorry your daughter is hurting, but glad to hear she is getting a lot of support. Can I ask if you are too?

    Have you asked the school about a phased return back? Maybe getting her back to do P.E as it's good for her health and means she can interact with her friends? It may end up being a gateway back into lessons?
  • Cwyst
    Cwyst Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    I have asked school about a phased return but ideally she needs 1:1 supervision and they say that they cannot provide this.
  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,906 Championing
    Have they laid out how this supervision has to be? Is there a relative or family member that can supervise them whilst at school? or does it have to be someone from a education / welfare body? 
  • Cwyst
    Cwyst Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    As a 14 year old she would not entertain the idea of a family member supervising her at school.  It needs to be someone from education/welfare
  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,906 Championing
    What do CAHMS think of one to one supervision? Could they advise someone?
  • Cwyst
    Cwyst Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    CAMHS think it would be in her best interest to be back at school with 1:1 supervision but have left it in the schools hands to provide the supervision
  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,906 Championing
    edited February 2023
    Hopefully they sort something soon so she gets back to lessons!
  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,906 Championing
    If there is anything we could do to help, please let us know :) 
  • anisty
    anisty Community member Posts: 340 Empowering
    I'm in Scotland, not England so am not au fait with how the English schools work. In fact, i'm not on top of how Scottish schools work tbh - but i do know that there is a way in Scotland of having the need for 1:1 support legally recognised  and that if you do have a child that needs 1:1 support in order to access the curriculum, then it MUST be provided - funding will be put in place to recruit a new staff member if needbe.

    There is also home schooling for children unable to attend school (or was - might have changed in our new zoom days)


    I'd say first steps is to find out what your rights are. Get an educational psychologist on board and take it from there.

    All the best.

  • Cwyst
    Cwyst Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Thanks, I would be interested to hear from anyone who knows about the situation in England. 
  • anisty
    anisty Community member Posts: 340 Empowering
  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community member Posts: 770 Championing
    I wish you and your daughter good wishes @Cwyst

    I still remember the time I first found out my daughter was.  It's horrible thinking of them in so much inner pain, that that's the only release

    Wishing a speedy outcome with her schooling and that CAMHS continue to help support and help her.

    I can't offer any advice really but - If it's any hope for the future, my daughter went from having an eating dis-order and self - harming ... to being a strong independent woman.  Who at 24 is thriving as a Paramedic despite being diagnosed with MS 18 months ago

    Good luck to you all

  • Cwyst
    Cwyst Community member Posts: 6 Listener
    Thanks, it is reassuring to hear such positive stories. 

  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,925 Championing
    Have you discussed this with the school's SEND department and senior leadership team @Cwyst? Technically, this comes under Social, Emotional and Mental Health (SEMH) needs. This is a recognised area of need within the SEND Code of Practice (2015). 

    Whilst schools do have a legal duty to ensure all students are safe on-site, they should also be making reasonable adjustments to allow your daughter to go back to school. Is there a family liaison contact you could discuss this with?

    Additionally, how is your daughter finding CAMHS' support at the moment? I would be questioning, and making sure, your daughter has enough support in place. Self-harm is often a result of something, rather than something in and of itself. 

    Please do not hesitate to let us know if we can do anything else to support you and your daughter  :)
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,715 Championing
    edited March 2023
    Hi @Cwyst

    I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's situation at school. I can see our members have offered lots of support which I hope has helped! 

    I'll be emailing you shortly (it's nothing to worry about), so please keep an eye out for that. And, most importantly, enjoy the rest of your Sunday  <3