Hi, I'm mummytwo5! Teacher not supporting son with SEN

mummytwo5

Hi all, so I just Need to vent. So I checked my sons school report and his teacher has put that my son "BLAGS" making out to count on his fingers to avoid doing his work ect. He would rather stand with teachers or adults at lunch then interact with his peers ( I will ad he has social anxiety and children in is year group wont play with him becasue hes to slow) just bang out of order stuff to make out that my child is just lazy, however a bit of background my boy is diagnosed with CP and Autism and actually really struggle daily is currently undergoing a cognitive assessment with the school and counting is fingers has be shown to help him remember and retain what has been asked ect, his teacher isn't taking  my sons problems into consideration and is treating my son like a outcast to the rest of his class, more has happend but that's a long story,  I guess what I want to know has anyone else gone through somthibg similar and can give me advice on what I can do and to cope with this issue my son comes home every day asking.to not go to school becasue of the teacher. This report is really upset.me my sons trys to be the best he can be with his limitations and he's still being.pushed to do more then his body and mind will allow. He's in mainstream school ( primary) his needs have never been catered for since starting school 6 years ago. 
Sorry for long rant I just Need to get it off my chest. 
Thanks for reading x

Sandy_123

Hi @mummytwo5 welcome to the forum. Rant All you like. Have you had any meetings with the school to discuss your child's needs and assessments. If not it might be a good idea to get the ball rolling on that. I would definately challenge the report

SueHeath

Good morning @mummytwo5 and welcome to our great group.
You rant away, I ditto Sandy there with meetings. 

anisty

Rant away! I know exactly where you're coming from. My son is 24yrs old now and long since out of the school system but i look back on that time as a battle.


My top tip is to be organised with your information.  In my case it took until my son was 13yrs old to get a formal cognitive assessment properly done by a clinical psychiatrist.


Part of the struggle is that the people that can really assess and label your son are NHS based, and liason between NHS based staff and Education isn't always tip top.


You are on the front foot, already having had your son diagnosed but do not assume school has copies of the reports.


A meeting is needed where you get the NHS workers (im guessing your son has OT, Speech T, physio etc) and education staff like teachers and educational
 Psychologist together.

With all these cutbacks you might need to start small and just try to get the ones you can into school.

Get copies of all recent reports from nhs staff to give to school. Even if they have them, they are likely filed away.


I am in Scotland so our schools work differently but i think you have SENCO there to help with all this?  To get them talking and get a plan together. We call them I.E.P in Scotland; I think you have similar.  We have one plan that is more enforcable in law than the other. So knowing your rights and what you have there is key.


Go into all meeings with a large lever arch file (fill with other paperwork if you don't have enough reports to fill it)


That makes them sit up.


And finally, you are not alone and it doesn't go on for ever. I generally found a pattern of battle then relatively calm, then another battle right through. My son left at 17 (he started a year late though) and things eased up massively then when he was able to attend services which were at his level.


He is autistic with a learning difficulty and is now in supported employment in a cafe which he loves. 

Schools try to fit everyone into a system. My son never needed to pass any exams at all. He can read and write. Do minor calculations. And that's all he ever needed to get out of a school system. The rest was just learning life skills.


All the best

rebel11

Sandy_123 said:

Hi @mummytwo5 welcome to the forum. Rant All you like. Have you had any meetings with the school to discuss your child's needs and assessments. If not it might be a good idea to get the ball rolling on that. I would definately challenge the report

Welcome to the site, I think this is exactly what you need to do, have your thoughts written down / give examples what's happened. Arrange a meeting with teacher and Head of School.
That is the way to go. If the teacher is not being 'equitable' in her treatment of your son, then 'their card has been marked'. 

L_Volunteer

Hey @mummytwo5. A warm welcome from me. Thanks for already finding the courage to reach out. I appreciate the courage it can take to reach out, especially when you are new and finding things difficult.

In all honesty, your son's experience of school reminded me a lot of when I was a student at school (fellow autistic here!). How wonderful that your son already knows to do the things that help him, I am proud! 

Can I ask who this cognitive assessment has been with, within the school? I am wondering if the findings have been shared with the teacher who says it is "BLAG". If they have, would you feel comfortable raising your concerns with this teacher?

Also, does your son have an EHCP? This changes our advice in terms of how to respond, just because support is legally binding under an EHCP. Morally, it is still really important this situation improves though.

Regardless, you could raise your concerns with your son's SEND department and senior leadership team if your concerns persist. This would situate your concerns higher than this teacher too. 

I can really hear how this would be upsetting for you, especially when you recognise your son is trying the best he can. You both deserve to be treated a lot better than you are currently.

Would anything help you at the moment, other than this teacher being more supportive? Unfortunately, we don't necessarily have those powers. Please don't hesitate to let us know if there's anything we can do to help 

Cher_Alumni

Hello @mummytwo5 and a warm welcome from me, how's your Sunday going?

I can see you've had lots of fab, supportive replies from our community members. And just want to add a link to the brilliant organisation IPSEA and their webpage about 'How your nursery, school or college should help'. Their website is a great place to look for resources, templates, etc and you can contact them to speak directly about your situation in more depth.

Your son deserves to have his educational needs met, with compassion and not judgement, and I am hoping you have positive progress really soon. Take care.

PS - I've moved your thread to our Education category and tweaked the title to help others spot it and reply.