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Hi, my name is 38adhd! Recently diagnosed with ADHD

38adhd Community member Posts: 3 Listener
edited March 2023 in Start here and say hello!

Not sure where to turn at the moment. 38, married, 3 amazing children, good job. On paper everything should be perfect.

But. Really struggling at the moment. 10 years ago i suffered from severe depression- thankfully therapy and medication helped me get back on track.

10 years later my depression has come back and unfortunately i was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Im due to start medication in the next few weeks.

For the last 8months my world has turned upside down. According to my therapist the mask / walls i had set up have set up over the years have just fallen down and i can’t build them back up. 
My marriage is on the ropes which is extremely sad, but the therapist believes that my adhd has helped me cope with my marriage over the years - allowing me to hyperfocus on things to distract myself from reality. Now that i have everything i ever wanted, i cant stop my brain from overthinking.
Im attracted to ther people (men and women - but ive never told anyone i was Bi), im drinking to self medicate, i feel like im letting everyone down (family, wife and kids).

the reality is that everyone is hoping that being on the medication will solve all my issues. My concern is that my going on the medication, with a calmer brain i will ultimately take the step of moving out of our home. A trial split to see if we can reignite my marriage for example.

Strangely i feel if i dont take the medication, i can hide behind the ADHD again, build up those walls for the sake of my children.

Anway, im doing this as i have no one to talk to. All my friends are close with my wife, the discussions just wouldnt happen.

has anyone taken medication and it’s ultimately saved your relationships / marriage?


  • durhamjaide2001
    durhamjaide2001 Community Co-Production Group, Scope Member Posts: 10,897 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi welcome to the community I have been part of loads of mental health support group both as a participant and a volunteer.  But the whole vibe of Scope is different. I feel like you all listen to our disabilities as a whole rather than one part of our disabilities which is lovely. 

    I would highly suggest a look around the coffee lounge for some distraction and fun.
  • MW123
    MW123 Scope Member Posts: 516 Pioneering

    Hello  38adhd  I read your post earlier and it has played on my mind.  I hate to think of anyone feeling they are alone while struggling with emotions.  I do not know anything about ADHD or medication so I am not qualified to comment on that.  However, you remind me of my cousin he was Bi.  For 15 years he appeared to the outside world as a happy professional married father of two.  Close family knew about his depression and drinking, nobody guessed he was struggling with his sexuality.  The drinking was a symptom not the cause.   Fast forward ten years.  His ex wife, her second husband and children have an excellent relationship with him and his male partner.  The children are happy well adjusted young adults.  Sending you a big hug for courage whatever path you decide to take


  • Alex_Alumni
    Alex_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,562 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello there @38adhd and a warm welcome to you, well done for reaching out and speaking honestly about how you've been feeling, that isn't always easy to do.

    I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling, we'd like to support you as much as we can with this, so please keep an eye out for an email from us a little later today, and let us know if you don't receive it. 

    You've mention your therapist, are you getting ongoing counselling sessions with them at the moment?

    It's always advisable to speak to your GP or another medical specialist about the impact any medication will have on your life, as it's different for everyone.

    It's clear by asking these questions and posting here today, that you want to be sure you're doing the best thing moving forward, and I think that shows how much you care about your own wellbeing, as well as the people you love too. 

    if we can help with anything further in the meantime, please let us know :) 
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