How to accept my disability?

JB23

Hi all.How do I accept the fact of being disabled piece of &£#  and be happy again?

just4once

Hi there I am sorry you are feeling like this I too find it hard at times as do many of us have you got supportive people in your life

JB23

Hi thank you for your reply,and yes,it sucks,more than sometimes,as for the support...well..I guess you are the first person who decided to listen and respond to me today so that makes you my support I think..and I thank you for that.cheers

OverlyAnxious

I don't think it 'just happens'...takes a long time to slowly accept different limitations that you didn't previously have.

I still hate the word 'disabled' but have accepted some of my limitations now.  Others...not yet...

janer1967

Hi and welcome to the community 

Accepting a disability is hard its like grieving you will go through different stages 

You will get through it even tho your life has changed it can still be a life . Try and find different ways of doing things and focus and make the most of what you can do rather than what you can't 

Members here are a great support 

JB23

OverlyAnxious said:

I don't think it 'just happens'...takes a long time to slowly accept different limitations that you didn't previously have.

I still hate the word 'disabled' but have accepted some of my limitations now.  Others...not yet...

Hi OverlyAnxious.Thank you for your  replay.I do appreciate it.I wonder if a self-forced requirement for the acceptance of a man's failure (disability) and acceptance of the  limitations is too much to ask? If ultimate surrender of one man life work or achievement would be a  plaster job to fix what's broken ?!How can you recover from that ? Would it be fair enough or not fair at all to expect from disabled person to stripp their personals and interpersonal character skills and personality skill set up to rebuild from scratch already knowing the outcome ? Will it work ?and what would be the price for that?All  beyond disability?I believe the world is always working only one way -up and moving in one direction -forward with no soft corners or cushioning but never backwards?Being honest I don't know if I can sacrifice any more of myself couse I already feel I sacrificed the most  ,🙃 I feel I am almost gone ,vanished ,already to the point I would disappear completely.. Still,my main question remains:How can I live happy and only feel sucessfull when disability is taking all the best of me and is leaving nothing but a shadow of a man I was before ?

JB23

janer1967 said:

Hi and welcome to the community 

Accepting a disability is hard its like grieving you will go through different stages 

You will get through it even tho your life has changed it can still be a life . Try and find different ways of doing things and focus and make the most of what you can do rather than what you can't 

Members here are a great support 

Hi janer1967.Thank you for your replay.Greatly appreciate it. I guess you are right as this is hard process ,hard pill to swallow. (I don't like to think about my disability pill to swallow as a part of me and myself still and I feel ashamed, failed ,fallen) .You are correct,It feels like grieving on the complex side but bad complicated with full of limitations I don't quite enjoy participate doing due to issues in the whole complexity of my miserable existence I have got ...Other than that disability and non existent life quality situation sucking I literally have no idea how to be happy with the big facts or be  grateful regardless?!ehh..Have a great day janer1967 ..🫠🙃Time will tell.Cheers.

Cher_Alumni

Hello @JB23

Thank you for opening up about your inner emotions regards being disabled. It sounds like your mood has been impacted by your condition and you are questioning your new identity. This is understandable, and I wondered if you had a support system to help you through this time? And also, if this was something you had spoken with your doctor about?

I think in modern society productivity has become conflated with personal worth (a product of capitalism) and so sometimes we can internalise this ableist messaging and it can become a source of private shame. This needs disrupting. I want you to know, that you are worthy just as you are. Although things might feel unstable, you can feel happy again. 

Would any additional support with your home life or help accessing interests be of use, do you think? If so, please consider making a referral for a needs assessment so support can be identified and implemented by your local council to help you get where you deserve to be.

Best wishes and I look forward to hearing from you again.

JB23

Cher_Scope said:

Hello @JB23

Thank you for opening up about your inner emotions regards being disabled. It sounds like your mood has been impacted by your condition and you are questioning your new identity. This is understandable, and I wondered if you had a support system to help you through this time? And also, if this was something you had spoken with your doctor about?

I think in modern society productivity has become conflated with personal worth (a product of capitalism) and so sometimes we can internalise this ableist messaging and it can become a source of private shame. This needs disrupting. I want you to know, that you are worthy just as you are. Although things might feel unstable, you can feel happy again. 

Would any additional support with your home life or help accessing interests be of use, do you think? If so, please consider making a referral for a needs assessment so support can be identified and implemented by your local council to help you get where you deserve to be.

Best wishes and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Hi Cher.Thank you for your message I appreciate the lift up.It is Thursday all right bit struggling today with some of my problems but I guess like many other people 🙃  If you don't mind I won't put any comment on the breaking the cycle methodology yet as so far I have tried many and different but sadly I can't find any working resolution for my low low side even regardless of self validation and know your worth approvals techniques.I guess it is what it is Cher regardless of all the doctors of this world , smart books or whatever .Thank you for your time  anyway and you take care yourself there too ok , ..tired now.cheers.😴

L_Volunteer

You mentioned you have been struggling recently @JB23. Would you feel comfortable sharing a little more with us about what this looks like for you at the moment?

Your struggles are validated, even if many other people are also struggling. Other people's struggles don't take away from your struggles. 

Even if there is no solution, we are here with you and are listening to you at the very least. Though, please don't hesitate to let us know if there is anything that you might helpful