Discussing what's acceptable with 17 yr old son

Meera

Hi I'm the mum of a 17 yr old with special abilities. I'm here because sometimes he or I need help and just knowing others out there and getting some insight in to coping strategies will help. Sometimes it gets too much. My son doesn't want to discuss his condition, not that I try to force him, but I want him to differentiate between what's acceptable especially when he's not around me. I'm finding this really difficult 

Alex_Alumni

Hello there @Meera and welcome to the Scope online community, thanks for reaching out. 

To help our members share their thoughts with you, I'm just going to move your post over into our Autism & Neurodiversity category, I hope that's okay

What kinds of things have you discussed already, and how did your son feel about this?

You might also be interested in exploring some additional support with our Family Services which can offer emotional support and advice for parents.

If we can help with anything more, please do ask!

Meera

Hi thanks. He just doesn't like to discuss that he is different, if I mention he's seeing things too black and white (x) explain neurotypicals will think (y) and that's just how it is, and I might say it's because of your condition, he gets quite angry. If he doesn't get his way, he's quite hurtful and negative. Like a normal 17 yr old but extra!
I have a younger son, and Z going finds him very irritating and Zis very vocal about it. I try to diffuse but I know I'm doing it wrong by telling him to be quiet (he's pretty loud) which annoys him more. It's so frustrating for him and me, everything just escalates. This morning I was trying to explain how to respond to adults and being so "truthful" can come across abrupt and rude. I remarried and sadly Z and my husband don't see eye to eye because the conventional way of talking and having a heart to heart hasn't worked. Zaeem gets wound up about the schedule I've created for showers in the morning, everyone has to leave the house at 8 therefore we need to stagger bathroom usage, he doesn't understand we are all just trying to get ready for work and school. I feel I've failed him today though because he said he wished he wasn't born this way, so he does know he's different. He's at college now and I've texted him to say that most geniuses are on the spectrum and that without the way his brain works, maybe he wouldn't be so clever at maths and problem solving.