Hello, new to this

courtblade

Hello, my name is Courtney and I’m 23 years old. My head is all over the place at the minute I’m riddled with anxiety. Shortly after having my first baby last year, I had a seizure suddenly. It’s really strange and the neurologist is confused because my husband who was luckily there and saved my life, reported that my body wasn’t so much fitting out, how ever I was unconscious, my body was stiff and fitting, how ever I was in the fetal position and my hands were twisted back round. I was choking, I stopped breathing etc but luckily he is military trained and managed to sort me out while the ambulance arrived 

I woke up on the sofa already sat up strapped up to machines not a clue what had happened. Didn’t know where I was, what had happened, couldn’t answer questions correctly I was so confused. I was taken to hospital for tests and a CT scan which came back clear

A week later I had an EEG, which reported epileptum discharges in my right temporo occipital - I think that’s what it said. The doctor immediately started me on 1000mg of keppra. I was living in Cyprus at the time and had to fly home to be with family and the baby as husband was going Afghan.

Since this my life has never been the same. The health anxiety has taken over me and it cripples me. I’m not sure if it’s the medication that makes me feel the way I do and experience these little attacks or if it’s actual problems, I struggle to determine what’s real and what’s not. 

Been taking keppra for a year now and I can’t remember a day prior where I’ve felt normal, or gone one day with our heart palpitations, pressure in my head that feels like my brain is being squeezed or going to pop, I can’t bend down with out my head pulsing I can literally hear it in my ears. I get chest pains on the left hand side which freaks me out and makes me think crazy things, red rashes all over my body, painful stabbing head aches. I have big dark circles under my eyes, severe dizzy spells which always make me think I’m going to collapse and sends me into a panic attack

ive been experiencing something lately, basically I’ll be absolutely fine I could even be having a laugh and enjoying my self, watching a movie etc and then suddenly out of absolutely no where I will get these seriously aggressive heart palpitations so fast and aggressive I can feel them all over my body, my t shirt ripples sometimes they are so strong, this is accompanied with vision changes, it feels like my head is going to pop and I’m going to collapse and it’s like my vision goes all dizzy and blurry. 

After that first real seizure I didn’t have anything else until around 4 months ago, where this random attack happened in the kitchen while I was on my own. I was fully aware it was happening but it was awful and it was a similar feeling prior to having the seizure so I knew I was going to have one…but I didn’t. My body was shaking head to toe and I sent my self into panic but managed to ring an ambulance while I laid on the floor waiting for it to happen. The hospital recognised this as an ‘aura’ seizure. I have had these attacks over all 4 times now in 4 months…but no fitting actually happens. I can’t work out if it is an aura or if it’s panic, or medication. But what ever it is comes from no where and is uncontrollable it genuinely feels like I’m going to have a seizure but I don’t 

I’m a mess at the minute, this is all new and very frightening. I’m trying to look after my little boy, work full time while managing this and I’m just a wreck. I don’t know why I’m writing so much here I just feel completely alone and emotional and I don’t know what’s going on. Could this just be the medication? I don’t want to be on it anymore. Has anyone else had similar experience?

I honestly can’t remember a time it I didn’t feel like this. I’m a paranoid wreck and a military wife so always alone and it sends me into overdrive and messes with my head. I’m scared of everything lately I’m not doing things I enjoy it’s taking over my life 

Alex_Alumni

Hello there @courtblade and welcome to the Scope online community. Thank you for taking the time to reach out and share your experience. It sounds like you're having a difficult time at the moment and we'd like to support you with this as much as we are able to. 

I'm going to be sending you an email a little later today, so please keep an eye out for it, let us know if it hasn't come through for any reason. 

To help our members share their thoughts I've just moved your post over into our physical and neurological impairments category.

I hope writing down how you're feeling has been helpful, and I know you're not alone here on the community. For support with seizures, you might like to visit Epilepsy Action, who have a helpline and virtual support groups.

Have you spoken to your GP about not wanting to be on your medication anymore, or about how you've been feeling about everything lately? It can be really hard when you feel like you're on your own, so if we can help with anything, please ask.

Take care of yourself today