Difficult behaviour

Ikonik

We have a 16 year old with ADHD and other complexities. He is very difficult to live with and can be volatile. I have tried to explain bills and life skills to him but he doesn't listen. He behaves like he's in a fantasy world, detached from any responsibility. I'm so worried how he will cope if he gets a place of his own. We are exhausted from parenting him with the constant issues. 
He has tried many medications with shocking side effects unfortunately 

poppy123456

I have 3 children, all adults now. When my eldest was 16 he didn't have the slightest interest in bills, life skills or anything else related to it. The only thing he was interested in was being out with his mates. He has no disabilities. I wouldn't have expected him to have any interest in bills or life skills at that age. Went through Uni and still didn't have a care in the world, other than being the life and soul of the party. Fast forward a few years after Uni and he now has a very successful self employed business.

My eldest daughter was slightly different, she did have interest in life skills but not bills of any kind at that age. Being young and care free i also didn't expect her to have any interest at the age, dispite always being quite advanced for her age. She also doesn't have any disabilities. She also went through Uni, graduated and now has 2 children, a home of her own, working full time well paid job as a child care officer.

My youngest daughter, had no interest in anything at that age and still has no interest or understanding of anything related to bills. I've always talked to her about bills and how much we pay for each bill but she has no interest.

She has disabilities, ASD, learning disability and Social Anxiety discorder. I can't ever imagine her having any interest in bills, or what needs to be paid. All she knows is she has her money from the benefits she claims, minus what i take for her share of all bills. She needs a lot of support each day for things like cooking, washing, dressing, going out and meeting other people. She will most likely not be able to manage to live by herself without support from other people. I spend a lot of my time over many many years trying very hard to explain things to her but it feels like she has no interest but i continue to try.

All through her teenage years where very challenging times with no support at all, as a single mum. We got through it thankfully.

What i'm trying to say here is try to not to be so hard on yourself. Your child is still so young and may even be a long way from living by theirself. When they are ready to move out from home there will hopefully be some support out there for them. Supported living is one thing that comes to my mind. I don't know if you've ever heard of this but a few people will live together and be supported by care staff. This can be funded by a personal budget from your local Authority. Information here. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/care-services-equipment-and-care-homes/supported-living-services/

It can be very difficult and challenging at times when our children have disabilities and certainly isn't easy.

Have you ever referred them for a needs assessment from your local Authority? If not, you can do that here. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/help-from-social-services-and-charities/getting-a-needs-assessment/

You can also refer yourself for a carers assessment and there maybe some support out there for you too. https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/carers-assessment/

You can also speak to your GP who will be able to recommend some services that maybe available in your area.

I hope this helps, even if it's a little.