Why is bad behaviour usually rewarded and good behaviour goes unnoticed?

ElsieSE

I was wondering if anyone has thought about this issue?

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @ElsieSE

Welcome to the community!  

When I read your comment, I had so many different scenarios it could apply to. Having a sibling being one! What scenario were you thinking of this being applied to?

ElsieSE

Hello dear coordinator, wonderful to read you are alert and have a consideration.

This is a topic for people to discuss. I am a where it is a vast topic. For Example: It could be regarding people with addiction issues. People with addictions can appear to be rewarded in the steps they take during recovery. Or by political policy and financial incentives redirected to relevant services refuges, police, youth and community groups, health and social care e.t.c.

The addict may have stole to pay for their addiction. Their victim may pay a high price via emotionally, psychological or practicalities such as insurance going up. The fear of being burgled stays with them. Its hardly a balanced out com or fair.  The victim is rarely rewarded. 

Basically any scenario regarding this subject is up for discussion. We have to start from some point. Would you like to discuss further regarding your thoughts you said referring to your sibling with the community? Your answer was rather basic.

surfygoose

That is true that a victim shouldn’t be left to feel in the wrong and if they have something stolen or broken or they get hurt, they should get their property replaced or get their compensation for being hurt. Someone who has done a wrong should also make apologies for their behaviour and try to make things right and do better.

Also though bad behaviour is not always simple. If someone is just choosing to be bad then if they do something against the law they should go to prison and if they don’t want to take up any opportunities to change offered to them in prison and they keep being bad then they won’t get rewarded for that because they will stay in prison longer. A lot of people thought their bad behaviour comes from something. Maybe they learned from bad examples and with help they can change. A lot of addicts have mental health problems and are using drugs and alcohol to self-medicate and try to cope with their conditions. Even people that don’t do drugs or use alcohol, their behaviour might still be affected by a mental illness or i]brain injury or developmental disorder.

Noe of the above mean people should be allowed to do whatever they want to others without consequence but putting resources in to helping people with their issues isn’t necessarily rewarding bad behaviour. There is the saying, “There but for the grace of God / There but for fortune go I”. If we or a family member were to suffer one of those issues we would likely all be grateful if society and services were understanding and offered help and rehabilitation.

Absolutely though there will always be cases of people that abuse all systems and choose to make wrong decisions and don’t care about others and just do whatever they fancy for their own self-gain. Like for instance there are some people who commit benefit fraud and would fake a disability to get money. That is very bad behaviour. That is such a small minority though compared to all the people that are genuine, and sometimes newspaper articles and other media can make out that everybody on benefits or everybody with a certain problem is doing bad behaviour simply because one or two people are.

I think it doesn’t help much to be too fixated on bad people getting rewarded because even if we see someone getting away with stuff and it really winds us up and makes us angry, if we spend too much time focusing on that other person and being annoyed about them, it can ruin our own enjoyment of life because we are focusing energy on someone not worth our time. We would be best to focus our energies on the people that we like and make us happy and that we view as good people. 

Some people believe in karma and what goes around coming around. The idea bad deeds will come back on the person on their own without the need for our intervention.

As for siblings, yes I think the whole world over people would agree with that one. Youngest sibling gets away with everything because they are the baby. Or a sibling getting away with everything because they are sneaky and blame another sibling. Or the sibling that screams and throws things gets away with things so the parents get a quieter life. All good fun in families!

rustledjimm

Or the sibling who is the oldest (me) tends to get away with more as the parents are still learning to parent. Parenting being a constant lesson.

In regards to the example of addiction. It's not a good situation at all, of course it's terrible if someone has been stolen from.

But at the same time the addict is someone in need of help. Is it a reward to get them that help? I don't think it is. Time and time again rehabilitation has shown to have a marked effect over pure punishment.

Now, I think there is something to be said for people with low morals/ethics often have some success and thus "reward". You see this a lot in the business sector. The more ruthless you are the more successful you can often be, the more profits you get etc. etc.

Some people do bad things because of the circumstances they are in, some do bad because of what their morals/ethics have come to be. The former shouldn't be punished in my opinion, they should receive help. The issue of course is in identifying the difference, which is easier said than done.

ElsieSE

I am staying on the fence regarding this issue. I ran an information health Clinic for young people. So I do have relevant experience and hold my own views. There is a movie based on a true story called 'a street Cat called Bob' wrote by James Bowen. I recommend both, book and film as it is another way, to gain awareness of how people our challenged by addiction. Hopefully inspire anyone needing that reason to be motivated. 

It also identify's family break downs. What is interesting James does not blame anyone. He highlights what its like to loose ones standing within our community. Which is happening to many during the cost of living crisis i.e becoming homeless due to high rents or mortgage, where that can lead people too. He also taps into loss of life. How humans judge people too harshly. I relate to that later.. being judged, by people who do not know me. 

What was his reward?:-  to be given an other opportunity, professional support network. To receive all basics most of us take for granted i.e a roof over his head after living rough on the streets. Certainly not a treat. 

Regarding business being run via tough love regime effectively, that's another debate in its entirety. The workers become apart of the commodity such as the products. They are know longer considered for their human worth i.e valued in terms of decent wage and respect. Which is being challenged by Unions now on be half of their members, during striking. 

This subject is huge... We all have a right to express and learn from experiences etc. 

Thank you for latest comments keep them coming.