Dealing with Uncomfortable Workplace Pressure: Am I Overreacting?

px_

Had a strange work situation … been told to change my work week very last minute (without any work related reason at all). I have already made some arrangements based on the original schedule so I replied that it’s to short of a notice to change my plans.

Was then called and pressured, ridiculed, made feel guilty/uncomfortable by being questioned on what exactly my plans are, a remark was also made towards me to “quickly make some plans up”, implying some kind of bad intentions or dishonesty on my part. I replied the my plans are personal.

I also said that this is uncomfortable (questioning in such invasive/passive-aggressive way) to which I got a reply of “Yes”.

I’ve been anxious for the rest of the evening trying to think “if I did something wrong”, had a hard time sleeping.

...it confuses the hell out of me when people do things like that for no apparent reason then switch back to making jokes in a nanosecond like everything is fine.

I don’t know, was this wrong, was this ok, am I wrong? how should anyone respond to that (if at all?), or just ignore it?

I've been at the company for less than two years which also means there is not much protections for me if I was to respond to this.

Cher_Alumni

Hi @px_ and welcome to our online community, how are you keeping?

Hmm that is odd, I wonder if some of it was misplaced humour but I can understand how it would play on your mind. Have there been any other incidents where you've felt uncomfortable, or is this an isolated incident? And do you have any reasonable adjustments in place, if you have disclosed a condition to your employer? If you are comfortable sharing, please do. 

In the meantime, I'd diarise what happened incase you ever need to look back on it, should a broader pattern of poor/inappropriate management develop.

Alex_Alumni

Hi @px_ these kinds of situations can be hard to navigate in work, especially when we feel pressured and aren't sure about support. I hope we can help!

Has anything further happened following this conversation? And can I ask if your workplace has an HR department? 

px_

Thank you for reply.

I wonder if some of it was misplaced humour

I was wondering this myself but it did not feel this way. I didn't mention that in my post but during that call (video call) it was me and my work colleague who was in the same situation (our boss was talking to the both of us). As I didn't know what to think after that call, after work I spoke to my college and asked him if he too thought that this was very rude or is it just me. He said that it's not just me and that it was rude (he used different word that I won't repeat here).

Have there been any other incidents where you've felt uncomfortable, or is this an isolated incident?

Not as intense as this one and not from the same person, there were few occasions where I was laughed at because I did no know something but it was around the start of my employment there so I couldn't have know everything about the company so I just ignored it. 

And do you have any reasonable adjustments in place, if you have disclosed a condition to your employer?

I did not disclose my disability, I didn't feel comfortable enough at the start to do that. I was recently thinking and looking up online on how to go about it. 

Has anything further happened following this conversation? And can I ask if your workplace has an HR department? 

This happened couple days ago and I was working from home so had no other interactions since then. Going to the office tomorrow. There is HR department but the reality is they are like a side/parent company and from what I've seen so far it does not seem like they would have any sway over a person that has the power to hire/dismiss employees.

px_

Went to office yesterday and all seemed fine. I may have misinterpreted the whole thing, I don't know. Not sure why I have such a hard time indemnifying other peoples intent . 

surfygoose

I’m glad that it went ok for you being back in the office.