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work issue, need advice please.

Tryingtobeconfident Community member Posts: 1 Listener
edited June 2023 in Work and employment
hi need some urgent advice please.
I have ADHD, anxiety and ongoing issues with depression. Work are aware of this.
Started a job a few months ago and mostly things have been fine. This week the office at work in was quite full and I went to ask the office manager who was sitting at a desk how to link up my laptop with the printer as due to a recent IT update it has come off the laptop. The person next to her who turned out to be one of the senior managers, told me off in front of the whole office, saying Can you not ask her, its not her role and to ring up the IT helpline. I Said ok, dont worry and went back to my desk, she followed me over continuing the conversation about if I had the number for the IT. I said Im all fine. I was quite upset at this point and had to leave the office, where I rang HR and told them what happened, they were really nice and said I could go home and work from there for the rest of the day. To add my line  managers manager had been setting next to me the whole time, completely saw I was upset, saw me pack up my things and leave the office and sign out. ten mins later on the way to the station, I got a call from said manager who had been sitting next to me and I though oh he wants to see if Im ok. However he said, 'Is there a reason you left the office without telling anyone, I said I did tell HR, I started to explain what happened and he interrupted me saying he doesn't want to know what happened, he just wanted to know why I left without telling anyone. Again I said I had spoken to HR, he weakly apologised and I said do you want to know what happened, he said oh alright then, I told them about the person concerned and he said 'What the highest manager? as if he was saying, you're complaining about the highest manager and do you know who they are?  He said someone would ring me that afternoon. The said manager has also been difficult with me in the past too.
I was so upset that I cried all the way home on the train.
Gong forward, Im still on probation and worried if I put in a formal complaint that it will be held against me and also make things difficult within the team. However if I dont, I dont want to set a precedent that its all ok, because I dont feel that it is.


  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,983 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Tryingtobeconfident. A warm welcome to Scope's forum from me. Thank you for already finding the courage to reach out to us. I appreciate how much courage it can take to reach out for support, especially when you are new and finding things difficult.

    We will advise you the best we can. You absolutely don't deserve to be spoken to the way you were by senior management - just because you asked a question  :( Do you normally see this member of staff? Unfortunately, people can be cruel - especially when they or others are under pressure but that is no excuse. Are they aware of your needs?

    How humiliating to have done this in front of everyone too - they could have at least spoken to you nicely and said I am afraid we are unable to support you with this but we can contact IT to support you. In fact, what were they doing responding on behalf of someone else, anyway? That was for the person you spoke to to respond to.

    Glad HR were more supportive and enabled you to work from home. Working from home can be such a huge relief, especially when you are having a particularly difficult day. I wish someone's status did not play such a large role in how they are allowed to treat you. The way they spoke to you was unacceptable - and should, if anything, be more unacceptable for senior authority! They are supposed to be leading.

    Do you feel able to talk to anyone else about your concerns - even if that is HR? Do you have any support in the workplace, such as a coach or a line manager you feel comfortable sharing your concerns with? You don't deserve to go through this alone. Situations like this, especially in the workplace can be really difficult to deal with  :(

    We are all here for you and listening to you. You might also find it helpful to contact Acas, a workplace buddy or your trade union. Please don't hesitate to let us know if you have any questions, wish to talk about this further or if there's anything else we can do to help  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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