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What you can do, not what you can't
I have two very elderly and frail relatives who are unable to do lots of things.
They have very opposite attitudes to life.
One of them deeply mourns the loss of their youth, always talking about what they can no longer do and wishing they were young and able again. They absolutely hate being old and are always complaining they can’t do things and on occasion have said they wish they weren’t alive anymore.
The other one is very philosophical, while they obviously wish they were young and able, they always are speaking about how important it is to appreciate what they still have and can still do. Whether that is a simple sit in the garden with a cup of tea on a sunny day or a visit from a relative or carer.
I thought maybe people on this forum with disabilities would perhaps fall into one of these camps as a result of their disability. Maybe people may even fleet between both of them? I know I do. I am often guilty of the former, but I am now trying hard to appreciate the things I can do rather than moan about what I can’t.
I used to moan a lot about losing my childhood and my teenage years and 20s which are meant to be the best years, now I only have the downward stretch to look forward to. And I can’t do stuff people take for granted like get a job, play sports, go out for a drive on my own, have a relationship, do most hobbies.
However I do have some good things about my life that others - even able bodied/able minded people - don’t have. Like a loving family, people to care for me, financial security due to hard work of relatives, I will never worry about having a roof over my head, and I try to appreciate little things that maybe others less fortunate than me can’t do like a walk with the dog or a drive to the shop.
Just wondering if this rings with anyone and whether you have had similar thoughts?
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