Need advice on work

Frankie2005

Hello
I started my first job in March this year, I'm 18 and a wheelchair user and found it very difficult to get hired in anything. I was so pleased they took a chance on me but it has all gone a bit wrong and now I think they hired me for the wrong reasons and I don't know what to do.

I don't want to quit as I don't think I'll get any other work and it'll look bad on me only working for a few months and then quiting but I don't think I can go back either. It's quite a good job and I don't think I'll get this opportunity again so I don't know what to do. 

Since the start my boss (in his 50s) has made inappropriate comments such as asking if I can have sex and if I have any feeling 'down there' but I'm used to this as get asked all the time. But I've also felt like a puppet piece they wheel through to show how progressive the company are but treat poorly the rest of the time. 

There's only 1 accessible bathroom in the property which is the boss's private bathroom and every time I need to use it I have to ask him specifically for the key. He always makes jokes such as let him know if I need help "cleaning up" or getting undressed and such and I try to laugh them off but it's making me uncomfortable. Well yesterday it went further and he said that damage has been done and mess made in bathroom and that he will stand in there with me to ensure it wasn't me ruining his personal bathroom. I didn't feel like I could say no and I couldn't hold it so had no choice.

If I quit, how will I ever find other employment? 

INDITics

Hello Frankie,

I am so sorry that you have had to go through that, that is awful and no company should treat their employee's like that, you disability should never be the reason you don't get a job, I work in a busy insurance place and my disability has seen it's rough days, you should be in a place that want to use your strengths and definitely shouldn't be asking you inappropriate questions.

you shouldn't feel guilty about leaving, they should feel ashamed that they allow this kind of behaviour and very much frowned upon and sue-able behaviour...if you do need help I am happy to help you look, I work in a disability friendly work place and we have some graduate programmes going i'm iT, Claims and Underwriting if it's something your interested in, if not i can help you find the perfect fit for you

And I am here if you ever need to chat, I use a pair of crutches as I have a join't and movement problem, so if you need any ventilation let me know. 

Frankie2005

That is such a kind offer of yours @INDITics, thank you. The silence on here has made me wonder whether maybe I am overreacting a little and that it might be normal behaviour. I am shy and quite sensitive sometimes. I spoke with my step-dad last night and he said all work places have this sort of banter and they'd be treating me differently if they didn't and that since it is my boss's bathroom he has every right to make the request he did. I still don't feel comfortable going in to work today, I have a knot in my tummy at the idea of him being in the bathroom with me again. I worry if I leave this job it will look so bad on me for failing and I was raised to never quit and keep trying at everything but I cried most of yesterday at the idea of work today. Is that normal? 
Claims and underwriting sounds interesting, do you enjoy your work? Do they make many accomodations for you?

Richard_Scope

Hi @Frankie2005
It's good to meet you and I'm sorry that you are being treated like that at your workplace.

It is not okay. It is unacceptable and very inappropriate! Does your company have a HR team? 

Scope has Employment Services that might be helpful for you.

Lottie1732

Frankie2005 said:

..."all work places have this sort of banter"...


Absolutely NOT!!   This is not banter. You do not put up with this kind of treatment for any reason.   This is harrassment. It is illegal.  You are being threatened here. It may have the potenital to escalate because up to this point he's got away with it.  The POS has already alluded to whether or not you have "feeling down there".  

https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

Go through the steps in the "what you should do" on the page above. 

Write up what's happened so far and then journal everything that happens and what is said. Dates, times, who was there.

You are not failing. This is not on you Frankie, OK.  

INDITics

@Frankie2005, There is banter and there is being ableist, offensive and having banter shouldn't be at the expensive of others, you want to be able to feel wanted and valued, if you want some info on the Graduate programme you can get hold of me, I don't know how you private message on here.

I am disabled myself and they have made all the accommodations i need plus we have a disability network as well that will help with every question you want to raise, every request you may need and they are their when you need a coffee and a chat, I am part of that network.

You should felt left out, we have access toilets on every one of our floors. I would be more then happy to help.