suffering from sensory processing disorder and been bullied — Scope | Disability forum
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suffering from sensory processing disorder and been bullied

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Jack03
Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
edited August 2023 in Children, parents, and families
I am 20 years old, I am Jack  I have  sensory processing disorder and some special needs  recently take us tennis as a hobby,  been teased by some lads around my age about  the underwear  I wear pants/slips not boxers never worn boxers    I need to be wearing  very tight and stay up type underwear like slips/pants due to my condition . Been been  upset by it, mom does not feel boxers are suitable for me due to my condition never been bullied before went to special needs school never been in a locker-room  before. Anyone out there  has similar experiences and suffers from  sensory processing disorder. 
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  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 51,145 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @jack03 welcome to the forum, sorry to read that you are suffering bullying over something so silly. Are these boys in your tennis group if so it may be worth speaking to the people who organise or take you. 
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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
    edited July 2023
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    okay it is making me sad. 

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  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 51,145 Disability Gamechanger
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    It will do and I hope you reach out and speak to the organisers, so they can sort it out for you. 
    Meanwhile your most welcome here to make virtual friends, no one here will bully you only make you feel welcome. 
    Join in with the conversations in the coffee lounge, or try a go at the games. Hope to see you around
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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
    edited July 2023
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    okay I will do 


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  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,912 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hello @Jack03

    Welcome to the community! :) I am so sorry to hear about the bullying. I echo what Sandy has said about talking to the organisers. What made you want to take up Tennis? :) 
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
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    Hannah_Scope I took up tennis because I always enjoy watching it felt fun to try out, mom is going  to talk with organisers about it as it is upsetting me and making me sad. Mom says I maybe try getting into my tennis gear at home  so avoiding lockeroom? Sounds okay? :):)  never been teased about my underwear  before went to special needs school and did tennis and other sports there and most boys wore pants/slips clothing has been  been difficuit  since little especially underwear socks, I  prefer more tightness reason I wear briefs vests etc  
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  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 51,145 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi Jack I think your moms idea is a good one and glad she will be speaking to someone.
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  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Community member Posts: 2,633 Disability Gamechanger
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    This is a fairly standard thing to be teased about in a regular high school.  I remember specifically wearing boxers on days we had PE and briefs for the rest of the week when I first started high school myself.

    Sadly, I'm not sure asking a parent or coach to speak to the other lads will help.  Maybe the younger generation are different and more accepting of difference now, but it would have just made things worse when I was at school.

    I know it's upsetting you, but I think it's something you may just have to take on the chin as 'banter' rather than being an attack against yourself.

    I'm not sure if you're aware, but you can get tight fitting boxers which you could test out for comfort.  I also struggle with change, particularly regarding clothing feel, but did eventually switch to boxers full time and prefer them now.  :)
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  • Hannah_Alumni
    Hannah_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,912 Disability Gamechanger
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    I'm glad you are able to take it up after enjoying watching it :) I think if it makes you more comfortable to change into your gear at home then see how you feel. I definitely think your mum is right in talking to the organisers :)
    Hannah - She / Her

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
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    OverlyAnxious thank you for your suggestions, I am turning 21 on July 31st, as I said before   went to a special needs school so never attended  regular high school. I did sport there but nearly all of boys wore same underwear as me.   I and neither  did mom have  any idea it was a  standard thing to be teased about. I have  struggled with change since I was very little says mom, particularly regarding clothing feel, one of  key reasons I have  only ever worn brief's /slips mom  and I are aware of  tight fitting boxers, apparently introduced them  to be me  at around 17 but so far never tested out, will think about   testing  out for comfort cannot hurt  . But I cannot somehow  see  myself switching from briefs/slips to boxers,  my older sister thinks I should stick with briefs if they make me feel more comfortable, sister says I need to just see it as banter as opposed to maliciousness. Don't mind me asking how  old   you were when you    switched to boxers full time. I do understand it  may have  been different in a special needs as opposed  to regular school.
     
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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
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    Hannah_Scope said:
    I'm glad you are able to take it up after enjoying watching it :) I think if it makes you more comfortable to change into your gear at home then see how you feel. I definitely think your mum is right in talking to the organisers :)
    I agree, mom feels by her talking it could stop, mom worries about me due to my  special needs  I am turning 21 on July 31st    I have  struggled with change since I was very little says mom, particularly regarding clothing feel, one of  key reasons I have  only ever worn brief's someone in  comments recommended  tight fitting boxers,  mom
    thinks I should stick with briefs if they make me feel more comfortable, sister says I need to just see it as banter as opposed to maliciousness. I do understand it  may have  been different in a special needs as opposed  to regular school.
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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
    edited July 2023
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     anyone 
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  • OverlyAnxious
    OverlyAnxious Community member Posts: 2,633 Disability Gamechanger
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    Jack03 said:
    OverlyAnxious thank you for your suggestions, I am turning 21 on July 31st, as I said before   went to a special needs school so never attended  regular high school. I did sport there but nearly all of boys wore same underwear as me.   I and neither  did mom have  any idea it was a  standard thing to be teased about. I have  struggled with change since I was very little says mom, particularly regarding clothing feel, one of  key reasons I have  only ever worn brief's /slips mom  and I are aware of  tight fitting boxers, apparently introduced them  to be me  at around 17 but so far never tested out, will think about   testing  out for comfort cannot hurt  . But I cannot somehow  see  myself switching from briefs/slips to boxers,  my older sister thinks I should stick with briefs if they make me feel more comfortable, sister says I need to just see it as banter as opposed to maliciousness. Don't mind me asking how  old   you were when you    switched to boxers full time. I do understand it  may have  been different in a special needs as opposed  to regular school.
     
    I don't remember the exact age but think it was around 14 or 15.  (My high school was ages 11-16).

    Your Mom won't have experienced it as a girl.  Girls locker rooms are very different to boys.

    I agree you should wear whatever you feel most comfortable in.  Though people (boys in particular) will pick up any differences to use in banter.  It's really not meant to be malicious or upsetting in most cases though.

    Sadly, some people do take it too far, and if it seems like they're specifically singling you out rather than everyone taking a bit of banter, that's when it moves from being banter to being bullying.
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  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 13,745 Disability Gamechanger
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    Could you do what I used to do on PE days which is wear your tennis shorts under your trousers. Then all you have to do is take your trousers off.
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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    Unfortunately, @Jack03 people can be cruel and any form of hurt from humans is "normal". Though, only you can know the level of hurt this causes and it does not make it okay. You deserve to be treated a lot better than this and still have the opportunities to enjoy your interests (e.g., tennis) without being hurt by other people  :(

    Do you think the idea of getting changed at home, rather than in the changing rooms, is something which might help? Is there anything else that might help this to feel more comfortable for you? - other than people being less cruel, of course  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
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    j
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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
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    L_Volunteer Thank you for replying, I think the idea of getting changed at home is the only way it will stop and make it me feel comfortable and  still enjoy my hobbies, I cannot see what else might help this to make me feel more comfortable, my sister says I should not stop wearing briefs as I prefer them over boxers that would stop this. I know my mom and older sister worry about so much due to my special needs

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  • Jack03
    Jack03 Community member Posts: 19 Connected
    edited August 2023
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    L_Volunteer could try boxers 

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  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,978 Disability Gamechanger
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    As you have said @Jack03, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable and enjoy your hobbies. Is there anything we can do to help? How have things been for you more recently?  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
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  • Jimm_Scope
    Jimm_Scope Posts: 2,733 Scope online community team
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    I think you should wear what you find most comfortable. Changing at home is a good way to avoid the bullying but I do hope the organisation or venue's leaders are informed and deal with this. It should never be acceptable.
    They/Them, however they are no wrong pronouns with me so whatever you feel most comfortable with
    Online Community Specialist

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    Opinions are my own, such as mashed potato being bad.
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