My relationship story is a complicated one, going back over the last 17 years but basically there has been verbal domestic violence for the last 15 years.
My partner lived with from years 3 to 13 but then my family intervened and got him forcibly thrown out of my house. I didn’t want him to go but was overruled by my family as they hate him. I wanted to continue seeing him but he became really angry and nasty towards me because I “let” my family throw him out.
We didn’t communicate or see each other for about 2 years but then reconnected (I can’t remember how) about 2 years later, which brings me to now, the present day. He lives in his own house and I still live in the same house. We were getting on really well had having laugh like we did when we first me.
Then, in early April when I was at his house, I went upstairs to use the bathroom but only got to the 9th step and fell backwards down them, hit my head on a cabinet at the bottom and was unconscious for about 10 minutes. (I had a right-sided stroke 19 years ago). He called an ambulance and I went to hospital to get checked over. I was fine except for bruising and 4 broken ribs, which have now just about healed.
I’ve now started driving again but my confidence is really low because of the fall. I’ve seen my physio and he told me that I’ve got to pace myself and take it easy. He’s angry with me because I won’t go to his house because of his steps (4 outside without a handrail and the ones inside that I fell down). He’s started calling me names again like “a fat useless c**t, a fat f**ker and a useless fat b***ard. He’s also said our relationship is a joke and he hates my family.
I don’t know what to do? I’ve been “with him” for such a long time and when he calms down, he’s nice. I worry if I break it off again that I’ll never meet anyone else and die a lonely old woman. My family say I’m being silly. The problem is though that I can’t leave my house unless I’m with someone (because of my balance and falls).
I l was forced to take ill-health retirement 4 years ago and I just sit at home, festering! I have been trying to look into re-training in another career but haven’t even got the drive or determination anymore.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me or what to do. I’m 50 next year and I feel like a complete failure.
Please can someone help me and guide me in what to do? I can’t get out of the house either as my walking has deteriorated that much. I worry that no-one will want me if I break it off with my partner. He’s been out drinking and just come back to my house and given me a load of verbal abuse then gone and got in my bed!
sorry for such a long message xxx
