Two teenagers with ADHD, any advice would be appreciated

clairewhite

Hi everyone, Claire here. I’m a mother of two teenage daughters, both of whom have confirmed ADHD. My youngest, who is 14 was also diagnosed with ASD. She is refusing to have any contact with me and is living with her dad. He is doing nothing to encourage her to see me. I am sad beyond belief. Any advice would be so very much appreciated. 

durhamjaide2001

Hi Claire welcome to the forum it's lovely to  meet you I'm sorry that this thread has been missed 

Adrian_Scope

Hello @clairewhite and a warm welcome to the community.

I have two teenagers with ADHD and autism so can probably relate to some of what you're experiencing. How long has your 14-year-old lived with her father? Were the two of you close when she was younger? 

dogsandcats

Hi Claire just want to send a warm welcome into the community.

What you're experiencing with the father sounds really intense. I feel it must have taken a lot of strength to reach out to a community so it's really impressive that you have.

I am by no means an expert in this subject, but a few things come to mind. Firstly, recognise that what's going on is really intense which means the upset you're feeling is extremely valid. That's my emotional advice.

On a more practical level, I'd recommending getting extra support from the Scope helpline. They're amazing for this kind of thing. Furthermore, it's useful to try and figure out what the other people's wants and needs are, with the aim of working on collective goals. For example, you and the father can surely agree that your children's wellbeing is the top priority. Then it's a question of what's the best way of securing the wellbeing. And it seems that a healthy relationship with both parents is key for that.

Hope that any of this helps,

Sending lots of love and strength