Awarded Pip but struggling

Minnie18

Hello, I'm new here but was just wondering if I could ask other people's thoughts/experiences on a little issue I'm struggling with?
I have just been awarded pip and am struggling with thoughts that this has thrown up. I applied for pip on the advice of a friend and I expected to not get it or to just scrape enough points to get standard daily living. They have however given me more points than I thought and I have ended up get standard daily living and standard mobility.
Previously, I always thought of myself as a healthy and positive person with osteoarthritis. Now though, I have spent months focusing on what I can't do whilst going though the application process, feel terribly ashamed that I have had to ask for financial support, and the word 'disabled' seems so powerful. The whole process has really made me feel so much more limited than I felt before, and my mood has taken a nose dive. I also feel that surely I don't deserve the amount they are giving me.
I suppose it has also been made worse by the fact I turned 60 this year too. I am a retired nurse and now have my own tutoring business which I have been finding increasingly difficult to keep up with so there is no doubt the extra money will help make things easier. (I live alone and need to pay rent so won't be able to retire until 67) After reading other people's stories on here, I also appreciate that I am very lucky to have been awarded pip.
I was wondering if anyone else has experienced feelings like this or am I just being silly? My brother thinks I should just take the money and get on with enjoying my life. Sound advice, I know, but these thoughts are really playing on my mind and bothering me. I
Sorry for the long post and thank you for reading. Would be really grateful for anyone else's thoughts/experiences with anything similar.

poppy123456

Yes, i've heard of this happening many times in the past. It's not unusal for someone to think they they weren't entitled to what they've been awarded. A classic example of not full understanding the PIP descriptors and what they mean, many people don't.

Osteoarthritis can cause someone to have extreme pain, which can mean they have problems walking and experience pain when doing so. If it was the moving around part of mobility that you scored the points and have issues with your mobility then i would say the decision for that part is correct.

It's very easy for people to just "manage" their health conditions and carry on with everyday things because we have no other options to do that. It's not until we sit down and write things down, like you did with the forms that we think "oh my goodness, i didn't realise just how much i struggle everyday"

I hope this has helped make you feel a little more relaxed.

vikingqueen

    I felt exactly the same when I first got ill @Minnie18 I had always been independent not relying on anyone. I felt guilty when I got my pip payments after always working and paying my own way. I soon changed my mind when I realised I could no longer do the simple things I use to take for granted. 

  I use my pip money to make my life easier, I can no longer go shopping so I pay for my daughter to get taxis to help me or I pay my grandchildren for doing odd jobs that I can no longer manage, amongst lots of other things.

Please don't feel guilty about taking the money, use it to help you and even pay for a treat if you want one. Don't downplay your illness it is a serious disease and you were awarded pip to help.

Minnie18

Thank you so much for your kind replies @poppy123456 @vikingqueen I guess I am just struggling to come to terms with my new reality but your words are very reassuring.

Yes, the extra points that I wasn't expecting were awarded for mobility. Looking more closely at the descriptors, I think it's because although I can walk I have to stop along the way to rest due to pain and fatigue. I also have to be very careful as my knee gives way sometimes and I have fallen on occasion. I suppose this relates to safety and how far I can go inbetween stops so that's maybe why they have scored me higher than I scored myself.
The extra money will undoubtedly make things easier so I will try to just get on with living the best life I can.

Thank you again, it's very reassuring to know that I am not the only one to experience feelings like this.