Advice for custody battles

briancharles5612

I hope this is ok, but I wanted to check other’s experiences.

Im fulltime carer to my boy. He sleeps here every day as my ex couldn’t trust her partner not to be aggressive with him when he struggles to sleep. Originally he slept at hers on Friday and Saturday.

Now she is saying she wants him to live with her again and expects me just to give him up. He is autistic and has a great routine here.

Got legal advice and best she can hope for us 50 50 but to me that’s like the judgement of Solomon.

I’ve got evidence if needs be but I don’t want it to get nasty.

he’s lived with me for two years.

Anyone been through this and have any advice?

the partner still lives with her btw.

Sunny_D

I don't know if you have resolved your situation since you posted.  When looking after children you must do what is in the best interests of your child.  If there is even a hint that he could come to any harm you put your child first.  If your ex knows there is a risk that your son could be mis treated then, as a mother of three, that is worrying to me.  You sound like a lovely caring dad so good luck in sorting out your situation.

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @briancharles5612

I'm sorry you and your boy have to go through all of this. I would encourage you to reach out to Citizen's Advice, they will be able to help direct you for legal support. Can I ask, have you both got support around you? I would suggest reaching out to your GP for mental health support, in case the situation does as you put it, "get nasty". 

EdBot79

Hi @briancharles5612

There are some great guides on the AdviceNow website about how to manage arrangements for children when separated.  

Normally if arrangements cannot be agreed between parents one or other of you would apply for a Child Arrangements Order from the Court. This would agree and record arrangements such as where the child is primarily resident, what contact they have with each parent etc. 

If you are concerned about the safety of your son at your ex's house it might be worth having a chat with social services to reassure yourself regarding not letting him stay over. 

Please be aware that if both parents have Parental Responsibility then either can refuse to return the child after contact and the only way to restore that contact is through agreement or court involvement.  This is a reason why a lot of parents end up applying for child arrangement orders if only to record the residence of the child, as without this the police aren't likely to get involved if the child is not returned. 

To apply for an order you would usually need to attend a mediation assessment first, as a mediator needs to sign your application form. Legal aid is available if you are on a low income to fund the mediation. 

As said above, the important thing is putting the child's wellbeing as the main priority in any situation.