LOVE

dkb123

What is it, Where does it come from, and how do we recognise it

As a layman, I would think it is a chemical reaction caused by an electrical impulse, but that's just a guess, maybe a professional could clarify it
Emotions are complicated things and may be different in the human response, but we don't know, what we don't know 
The different kinds of love are also a mystery, it has been the subject of countless stories and writers have tried to capture the feeling for centuries, so what are your thoughts on this 

Hannah_Alumni

I love a romance novel, but know that kind of "fairytale love" is for the books. It can be rare in person because we don't take into account other emotions that take the priority for the day. If that makes sense? 😂 It's like when you see this idea of Prince Charming and I think, well he must get frustrated or feel sad at times, right? 

My grandmother told me three things when it came to love. Three pieces of advice that made me realise all those complex emotions when it comes to love and relationships.

1. You only marry for love. And she described it as when someone makes your heart feel fuller than it ever has before. 
2. To remember that women invented sleeping on the sofa. 😂
3. If they ever hit you, you make sure they can't get back up. 

I think the first made me realise that love will always be something specific to you and your feelings. Hence your heart feeling fuller than before. The second that you will not always get on and will have disagreements. But then the third, you don't take anyone else's anger in a way that hurts you. 

dkb123

I think they are wise observations, but there are different kinds of Love, the one you feel for a partner, family, or friends and also for your country, race, or tribe. of course, religion and beliefs, some would die for it others don't believe it exists, and what happens when it is misdirected  into something that society says is wrong, for many years it was wrong to be gay, and very unwise to fall for someone different, the wrong colour or disabled, are we still in the dark ages or do we consider ourselves more enlightened nowadays  

Hannah_Alumni

I would say we are more enlightened, it just takes society laws to catch up. Like it did with gay rights. I do think different kids of love comes in with those daily emotions. Using your example as the love for someone's country. I think day to day, that can change with what happens in your country. 

dkb123

yes, that may be right, but I was thinking about the attachment to where you were born, which brings you into the whole immigration debate. I have heard several conversations from people who have become British citizens, about the strength of the pull on their feelings about the loyalty and allegiance between the old and new
One comment from a prominent YouTuber who was an American turned Brit was that during the passing of the late Queen, he didn't feel qualified to comment, because he was torn between two intense feelings of belongingness and he felt that the specialness between the people and their sovereign was something, republicans didn't understand 
An Observation was an old war information film made by the American army, to familiarise them,a statement, dont criticise the monarchy, or you may find yourselves in a fight 
So there is a lot to consider when torn between two systems, and of course, it can be the same between family and sexuality 

WhatThe

..love is not a feeling.. M Scott Peck 

Certainly, I've mistaken intense passion and attachment for love many times because my needs were paramount at the time.   

I'm now inclined to think love is simply acceptance of another and a choice to act with love. Hurt people hurt.    

Sandy_123

@Hannah_Scope your grandma is a very wise woman lol

Hannah_Alumni

@Sandy_123 She was  

newborn

Is it a feeling of obligation and duty, to put something above your own interests?

Thinking of the Ukranian youth who was with a  group urgently setting explosives on bridges, in the first day of the invasion. The others had to rush off, leaving him alone with just the explosives, but no fuse. The main Russian army  advance force appeared, intending to cross the bridge he was guarding.  He blew himself and the bridge to pieces.

I was thinking of personal relationships, and that love would not be something to do with bunches of flowers.  It would be caring enough about someone to donate an organ, or to care for them day and night for years.

woodbine

Love is celebrating our 42nd wedding anniversary next week, SM is my rock, my friend and the one I will love for the rest of our lives xx

WhatThe

Is it a feeling of obligation and duty, to put something above your own interests?

Hi newborn, I think you've explained what I couldn't - that LOVE is an action rather than an emotion 

dkb123

you may be right, I was thinking about war and the different fractions and emotions of the actions that surface, is it nature or nurture? They say love and hate are very closely related to the fight or flight reaction, and we as humans evolved with love being self-protective of the species, If you put a distressed child next to an adult of the same species, they say the adult will always protect and comfort the child unless there is something very wrong in the psychological structure of the adult, so is love an inbuilt preserving mechanism for the race

WhatThe

Mammals are programmed to care for their young and even other species. We are social animals but also territorial (possessive) so conflict is inevitable to establish dominance for self-preservation. 

In terms of attachment and belonging, I was born here and live here but began school abroad. My heart races when I hear the music, language and accents I encountered as a child. I am not of there but it became a part of me and I gravitate towards that race.

I think we can all learn how to love and be kinder but it takes effort and thought.