What to do...
Autism_at_40
Community member Posts: 737 Empowering
Hello,
The person I was seeing has since said he doesn't know if he wants a relationship with me, but is still talking to me.
I am trying to keep myself distracted, but I just can't seem to find anything to keep me from getting upset.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can try and do or any comforting words please?
Thanks
The person I was seeing has since said he doesn't know if he wants a relationship with me, but is still talking to me.
I am trying to keep myself distracted, but I just can't seem to find anything to keep me from getting upset.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can try and do or any comforting words please?
Thanks
0
Comments
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I'm really sorry that you are going through this- it is a very normal way to feel.
Sometimes letting yourself feeling those feelings can be therapeutic, acknowledge them and work through them.
Do you have friends/family that can help you through this?
I went through a break up 6 months ago, at the time I thought all kinds of negative thoughts, yet here I am 6 months later perusing other interests and happier than I've ever been.
I found spending time with others and doing things that made me happy- even something as small as having a treat once a day- really helped. As the days went on it got easier to deal with.0 -
Hello @Autism_at_40
I am so sorry this has made you upset. I think it is fair for you to say, that it is ok if they don't know what they want but that if they need the space to figure it out, you would need that space too.
I think that space would give you not only time to have a think, but take time for self care0 -
Kimmy87 said:I'm really sorry that you are going through this- it is a very normal way to feel.
Sometimes letting yourself feeling those feelings can be therapeutic, acknowledge them and work through them.
Do you have friends/family that can help you through this?
I went through a break up 6 months ago, at the time I thought all kinds of negative thoughts, yet here I am 6 months later perusing other interests and happier than I've ever been.
I found spending time with others and doing things that made me happy- even something as small as having a treat once a day- really helped. As the days went on it got easier to deal with.
I have been trying to feel the feelings, but I also couldn't seem to do anything that would make me feel better..
Doesn't matter now anyway.. I'm in the friend zone at the moment, but we were on video all evening, so I dunno... I realised that I felt like I had put him on a pedestal in my mind.. If it ended now, I don't think I would be as bothered..0 -
Hannah_Scope said:Hello @Autism_at_40
I am so sorry this has made you upset. I think it is fair for you to say, that it is ok if they don't know what they want but that if they need the space to figure it out, you would need that space too.
I think that space would give you not only time to have a think, but take time for self care1 -
That's good in a way. Sometimes when we are upset, feelings can be too overwhelming. If you need any support, you know where to find us1
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Sorry to hear about this @Autism_at_40, it can be especially hard for people on the spectrum but it sounds like you're trying to do all the right things now.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is fairly common with us autistic (and commonly ADHD) folk, so this kind of situation tends to hit us a bit harder. It's worth reading up on here if you haven't already. But as Hannah has said, a bit of distance and time is a good call.0 -
Albus_Scope said:Sorry to hear about this @Autism_at_40, it can be especially hard for people on the spectrum but it sounds like you're trying to do all the right things now.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is fairly common with us autistic (and commonly ADHD) folk, so this kind of situation tends to hit us a bit harder. It's worth reading up on here if you haven't already. But as Hannah has said, a bit of distance and time is a good call.
Not getting much space though, he messaged me again this morning.. lol0 -
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is fairly common with us autistic (and commonly ADHD) folk
Albus, a little surprised that I'd never heard of this so thank you. It certainly fits my behaviour and that of my dad's. Perfectionists we were called.
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Ugh, I feel rubbish again..
Maybe I should take that time out after all...0 -
@WhatThe It was a game changer when I found out about it. So many things make more sense! But that's a normal thing for us late diagnosed folk right? Haha.
@Autism_at_40 I'm sorry your mood has crashed, just do what you need to do. Time outs are often a good thing. Expecting just to carry on as normal after that bombshell seems very counter productive.0 -
Autism_at_40
Hi, i am really sorry to hear about your problem something similar happened to me 4 yrs ago, in nov 2019 i collapsed in front of my ex husband i was rushed to Calderdale hospital in Halifax where i had a brain scan and that's when they found out i had a brain injury due to an illness that i wasn't even aware that i had it's called wernicke encephalopathy sadly i am wheelchair bound my ex husband walked away from me and our marriage 2 months after i was rushed into hospital x
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Hello @flick79
Welcome to the community I am so sorry to hear your health took such a turn. I wanted to check in that you have support around you?0
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