can i withdraw pip after assessment?

s4zi

hi
i had my telephone appointment for pip assessment on thursday 
i have several health conditions including arithritis and asthma
after the assesor asked me several questions about my parenting, since i told her my husband helps me with kids and meals (and thats what happens on my bad days )
now im so afraid that she will get other services involved? 
can i withdraw my application at this stage as i do really can not go through this anxiety 

MW123

Hello @s4zi and welcome to the community.

The assessment process aims to determine your eligibility for PIP by examining how your health conditions affect your daily life. The assessment is not an evaluation of your parenting skills.  It makes perfect sense to me for your husband to help with tasks that are hard for you.  It's great that you have such a supportive and helpful husband.

Deciding to withdraw your application now won't change anything; the information you provided during the assessment has already been documented. Having disabilities and facing challenges with day-to-day tasks is not a reflection of your parenting skills.  I know it's easy for me to say, but please just enjoy Christmas with your family and try not to give this another thought.

poppy123456

Sometimes during an assessment they may ask what seems like some very odd questions but they are just wanting to get a picture of how your conditions affect you. Many people claim PIP and have children, even single parents.

Sometimes they may contact your GP if they have any safeguarding concerns about you and your health conditions, not your children.

I realise it's difficult but please try not to overthink things because it will just make you feel worse. It would be a shame to cancel the claim now the assessment is complete and as MW123 advised, it won't change anything.

s4zi

thanks for the replies
the thing is i also forget things and she was so insisted if my husband is the one who is bathing the kids, making meals ready what do i do to them? 
what do they eat during lunch? 
and silly me i forgot to say things that i can do with my kids and said i can prepare tiasts for them for example? i can play with adolly? brish their hair, lots if hugs abd kisses?
read then stires
but she still was insisting on what do my children eat?
am i ever left alone with them? 
im so afraid that she might have thought of it in another way 
my children are everything to me in this world and even if i can not do it i push myself to di things with them to make them happy and play with them but i forgot to teell her these
😔
i just can not stand the fact and wait for the results 
i thought its supposed to make life better not make it like this

s4zi

so can i ask what would happen if i withdraw now and try to reapply in later date maybe some years later when i find myself more confident?

poppy123456

I really don't think it's possible to cancel the claim now because the assessment has already taken place. It's very easy to continue to 2nd guess yourself and say, i didn't mention this, or i should have mentioned that.

Nothing will happen to your children. Your PIP claim is about you, not them but yes they can ask the sort of questions they asked you because they are trying to get a picture of exactly how your conditions affect you. For example, if you said you don't go out but they then asked who takes them to school and you tell them you, then yes you go out.

It's perfectly normal to feel this way during the claims process, regardless of what you claim. The majority of people feel exactly the same.

Once the decision is made, if you're awarded then you can relax a little more. If you're not awarded then you can leave it at that but if you think you can score enough of points needed for an award then you can challenge that decision by first requesting the Mandatory Reconsideration.

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @s4zi

Welcome to the community!

I'm so sorry you've gotten worried about the questions your assessor asked. As Poppy has said, your PIP claim is about you. I think she may have asked questions like that because it would relate back to things like as an example, how you prepare food. Like with Poppy's example with how they get to school. 

Agreeing with everyone here, many people have kids and claim PIP. Please try not to worry  

Have you and your husband got all ready for Christmas? 

s4zi

thank you so much for your kind replies
the thing with my condition is agter a surgery years ago i got major stiffness in all my body and never even thought for applying for a pip
i always hoped life would go back to normal for me as it was
after years new symptoms appear and whatever i try to do during my day it gives me so much pain and flare ups
oh thats one of the questions then i have answered her wr9ong? she said how much do u go put i said once to twice aweek(thought she means for enjoyment 😃)and then she said who brongs kids back from school i said me if my husband is not able to but he is the one who takes them every morning since in the morning my symptoms are worse
but she was very very consistent of what do my children eat? what do i do with them? ( and at that time you know your mind does not remember whatever you do with your kids?)
i really regret so much applying for it and i wish that i could try abd withdraw the application as she asked lots of private life questions?
as i said befor my kids mean the world to me and im afraid she would refere me to other services even though i said my husband is always a great support and does everything that i can not do ? 

s4zi

i can not sleep and can not stop thinking about it?
and i even wish that i could at least add some things to my answers 
i just do not want to be seen as a bad mother?
after suffering  years from totall body stiffness? 😔

s4zi

@Hannah_Scope
thank you 
yes nearly we are ready although there are things that still needs to be done but slow me with all hospital appointments will do things at my own pace 🥲
 

s4zi

even thougg if she involves other services they would see my children are always clean? fed beautifuly but she was insisting on what do they eat if i can not prepare meals everyday? if i can not prepare breakfast every day? i said my husband does everything that i can not do he is a great supporter 
are u left alone with the kids? i said yes and im doijg good my husband calls to see if everything is good or i need any help sooner than he gets back?
oh i can really not stop thinking about it? 
at this point in my life i do want to withdraw everything and do not want anyone to get i involved in my life?
i thought i would get helped? not being questioned all these things about ny parenting? 
she said so tell me what is the thing u do for your kids? what do u do for them?
(i said hugs kisses storeis? playing with dollies? 
i do not know if that was an enough answer for her? 😭😭😭

poppy123456

The problem is that when you apply for benefits such as PIP then you have to go through the process, it doesn't matter when you claim it, you will still need to go through the same process.

When you filled out the form, this was the time the tell them everything that was relevant to how your conditions affect you against the PIP descriptors. The less information you tell them, the more questions they will need to ask during the assessment.

If they do contact someone like your GP then it will be because they have concerns about you and your health conditions, not your children because PIP is about you.

It's normal for them to ask a lot of private questions and the majority of people feel the same as you do. This is because when we have health conditions, we manage the best way we can and our way of life just becomes the norm.

Hannah_Alumni

@s4zi Ooo nearly done! Just wait, it'll be a lovely Christmas for you and your family

Can I ask, have you ever thought about reaching out to SHOUT? They are a 24/7 texting service and great for when things play on your mind, and you cannot sleep. 

I hope you do get help and are awarded PIP. My cousin applied for PIP and was awarded. She was asked questions about her children. Her kids are still with her. I don't think they ask questions like that to judge your parenting. They are asking logistically in regard to your day-to-day life, but unfortunately, they can come across quite blunt. If say were working, they would ask questions about that, but it wouldn't be them questioning your ability in your job. 

I am so sorry it has worried you, but please try not to Hopefully you'll hear soon, the award will be in your favour, and it'll all put your mind at rest. 

s4zi

@woodbine thanks for your comment and reasurance
as i hope so as i also answered her questions as my general health condition but there are things that i forgot to tell her ? for example there a times when im more active than others and i tend to do the things that i usually im not able to do? but then end up in flare up for few days after that?
and thanks again and have a lovely christmas 

s4zi

@poppy123456 thank you again
as i said it has been years that im in this condition and as to compared to 3-4 years ago? im much much better as i was not able to stand up even for few minutes, and i always thought i will go back to my normal active self again, turns put it will never be
thats how i thought i might be able to get some help
my bigger childs school help me while picking ups i go inside the school garage with the care and the child is brought up to my car 
as waiting in the queue was so much for me that was the only thing i would be able to do during the day
and sadly i have forgot to mention this as well

s4zi

@Hannah_Scope thank you again hope u have a lovely christmas 
can i ask will this shout get my personal information?
as i never want to mention my stresses to the GPs as well since im so afraid of being looked at as a bad mother😔

Hannah_Alumni

And you @s4zi

They will have your contact number as it is a texting service. They may ask for more personal information if they feel they can support you with another service. The only time they would break any confidentiality is if they fear your life is in danger. I have used SHOUT before and found them very helpful  

All their FAQs are here if you would like to know more; FAQ | Shout 85258 (giveusashout.org)

s4zi

@Hannah_Scope thank you si much if i find myself still in these thoughts i will definitely get intouch woth them
im just stressed thats why i want to withdraw everything 
i thought if i tell the trushts of my average days then i would get the right support 
after years if suffering 
less i did know that these thoughts will come into my mind as soon as the phone hung down and i say i wished i could be able to give her a call back and add some more things 😭

Hannah_Alumni

@s4zi They do sometimes call back to ask additional questions. So, you may get another chance if you feel you want to add more. If you are not awarded there is also Mandatory Reconsideration as Poppy mentioned above. 

s4zi

@Hannah_Scope
thanks so much the thing is silly me have answered all the questions as my worst days as i thought thats how i should answer since i sturggle in day to day basis but i do have some days which i feel better
Now the only thing i want to do is just call them and tell them stop my claim 
does anyone know if iam able to do that? 
im mentally and physically not ready really to wait abd i do have new medications which they will affect my immune system? its all like a nightmare for me really i just want it to be stoped 

s4zi

i search on google but i find nithing about if i can cancel a claim after being assessed?
i did want to calcel it before being assessed as well but thought its my right after years of struggle to have some support 
at this point i just want it to end and i really do not want a pip 😭