Christmas Anxiety

66Mustang

I know people have different emotions about Christmas, e.g. some love it, excitement, some are lonely…

Does anyone else get anxious about it, like me?

I have a couple of family members coming who cause me distress. One of them is because she gets incredibly grumpy and this makes me always on edge and nervous around her. The other one has a bit of a temper and also likes a drink and the two do not mix.

We are going to the grumpy relative’s house for Christmas Eve which I am nervous about because at her house I don’t have my bedroom to escape to if I need to, that said I have been told I can leave whenever I want.

Despite this I am looking forward to Christmas morning because it will possibly just be me and my parents and we will open our gifts.

However then we have the grumpy relative staying from midday on the 25 until approximately the afternoon of the 27th.

I am looking forward to the week between the 27th and New Year as it will just be an easy week and hopefully just me and my parents enjoying all the left over Christmas food and cheese and drink.

Just wondering if anyone has any helpful advice or comments.

Grinchy

Sorry to hear your being anxious, i hope it goes well for you, and your relative isn't to bad, take care 

66Mustang

Thanks @Grinchy we plan to keep the first relative full of sherry as, contrary to the 2nd relative, that calms her down

Jimm_Scope

I understand it @66Mustang. For me it's what you've pinpointed I think. It's the family gathering aspect. It rarely happens outside of things like Christmas. Or if you're American, Thanksgiving. It's a running joke over there about all the stress/anxiety around certain family members getting together and just upsetting everyone and the like. The feeling you've got to walk around eggshells around them etc.

While it's not "sociable" I've an agreement with my parents that I can pop away when I want a break from family gatherings. Usually to my old bedroom (now an office) or their bedroom. Is that something you think your close family would be okay with? 

woodbine

@66Mustang all I can suggest is try and ignore Grumpy and enjoy your Christmas 

66Mustang

Thanks @Jimm_Scope - yes I am allowed to take time out and go up to my room whenever I want to at home. I don't have that opportunity on Christmas Eve when we are not at home but I can leave when I want so hopefully not too bad.

@woodbine thanks for the kind words, but did make me chuckle... Grumpy is used to being the centre of attention and if anyone dares ignore or, dare I say, interrupt her, I would pray for them I am going to make the best of it and have a nice time though. Hope you enjoy your Christmas as well.

Beaver79

Family can be difficult as if it was anyone else you would not put up with it. You can do it though @66Mustang Enjoy the food and drink and your cheese of course. Fingers crossed it goes well.

66Mustang

@Beaver79 yes agree, you can choose friends but not family. If I had a friend who acted like that I would choose never to see them and we would quickly become not friends. But we sort of have a duty especially as they are elderly.

Thanks for your kind words.

Jimm_Scope

I'm glad you can at least get away for short periods of time. I'm afraid I made the assumption you would be at home, I can see you said otherwise in your post so I definitely need to read better!

Maybe next year you can have Christmas at yours if that's an option?

66Mustang

@Jimm_Scope only Christmas Eve at relatives - the rest will be at home. Also relative only lives in the next village. My Dad doesn't drink and is going to be the driver, he said he will run me home any time, just need to say the word

I sort of feel like I need to make an effort and stay for at least a couple of hours, though, but that's mostly just pressure I am putting on myself!

Ada

Sorry your feeling like this @66Mustang I truly hope you get through it without you being upset or uncomfortable in your own home when that grumpy stays. 
Sending hugs 🤗 

66Mustang

Thanks for the kind words @ada it means a lot

Sandy_123

Hope it goes well for you @66Mustang and you have a nice xmas

66Mustang

Thanks @Sandy_123 I hope you have a good one too

THE_DUDE

I'm always anxious this time of the year. I'm expected at some family Christmas Dinner this year but I'm not turning up. 

Me 1, Christmas 0

Ada

@66Mustang How’s it going for you 

woodbine

@66Mustang hope it went ok ?

Ada

@66Mustang Good morning. Hope it was good for you. 
Hope you have a lovely Christmas Day.  X

66Mustang

Thanks all who asked after me, and sorry I didn't reply yesterday, I had to go straight to bed when I got home as it was quite late for me. It went really well actually and I enjoyed the food.

I hope everyone has a nice Christmas Day today.

Now the only thing to get through is having "Grumpy" stay for 2 days until the 27th, she gets here at about midday but we have present opening to enjoy before she gets here, which is nice. Hopefully she will be OK this afternoon anyway, she is worse in the mornings.

Adrian_Scope

Hopefully these few days with your relative will go okay and the safety of your bedroom escape will make it easier @66Mustang.
Finding things to keep you busy, like helping in the kitchen, taking 5 minutes in the bathroom or simply getting up and having a wander around can help if you start to feel a bit stressed while they're here. 

Have a lovely morning with your parents.  

66Mustang

Thanks @Adrian_Scope

We just opened our presents and went for a dog walk.  

I hope you are having a good Christmas!!!  

Our grumpy, potty relative is now threatening to stay until new year. This is something I just flatly cannot cope with - nor can my parents as she is very very hard work for them. We do have a plan if she doesn't go home on the 27th, which involves a Covid test and a red pen. I know we are not going to go to heaven, but needs must!