Not feeling too good

Ada

You were very brave @66Mustang. But well worth saying. 
Hope it works for you. 
You really shouldn’t go to someone else home and be grumpy. That’s just rude. 
is there a sad reason for it. 

66Mustang

@ada

She doesn't do it for no reason, she is elderly and is in a lot of pain. I can sympathise and understand the reasons she is upset. She is young at heart, absolutely hates being old.

But I don't think she should be grumpy with us, the pain is not our fault after all.

Thanks for the kind message and hope you are having an OK day

Ada

Your very special @66Mustang she’s lucky to have you in her life 

woodbine

@66Mustang thats awesome well done you !

Autism_at_40

66Mustang said:

I am struggling but just did a good thing that I am really proud of.

I am usually diplomatic with my relative but she was in an especially bad mood today so I said in front of her "I am just going to take 30 mins in my room until people have calmed down"

It was hard to have the courage to say that but I think it's sewing the seeds to get her to understand that her temper affects me

Wow, that is really good 
I've struggled in the past to tell people that I need the time away.  It's definitely a good thing.

Lou67

@66Mustang
Oh I’m so proud off you, you have come so far, it’s great you were able to speak up, and hopefully your relative will have a think to themselves how their mood has affected you and your other family members. ❤️

  

chiarieds

As someone who is likely older than some of you, but is also in pain, as many of us are, that's no reason to make another's life anything from uncomfortable to downright difficult, especially when it's another family member. 

I'm still 27 in my head (so young at heart!), & look back at the opportunities & experiences I have enjoyed when younger, & now go with the flow of time & that I still have opportunities to find the most simple of pleasures, especially with my family.

Your grumpy relative is in danger of alienating the very people that are there for them, so good you gave them a wake up call. Some people are a glass half full sort of person, others not; sometimes difficult to change their mindset, but you have tried, which will help all of your family, including them, if they take this onboard. Good for you.

66Mustang

Thanks all for the comments and support, it really does mean a lot and helps me a lot.

@chiarieds I share that very same opinion, but it is helpful to actually hear it from someone who is in pain, because it's easy for me to say "I wouldn't behave like that" having never been in constant pain myself.

I am going to post a message I posted on another thread as I think it is relevant for here as well.

--

Sorry I didn't post yesterday evening, I was really tired after all the activity and went to bed at 7.30pm.

My relative who we call "Grumpy" had a real turn last night. She was all right during the day except for the usual moaning and complaining, but at dinner she randomly got up and swore and said I'm going to bed. We didn't see her until the morning when she has just apologised for her behaviour and said she had an awful headache but is feeling a lot better today so let's see how today goes.

-- 

Hope everyone has a great Boxing Day!!!  

Grinchy

well done that you managed to get away for a bit, sorry you had to go through that, i hope your ok now

66Mustang

Thank you

Beaver79

Is it just you and your family for New Year or any visitors? @66Mustang

66Mustang

@Beaver79 we are just having a small gathering, not having the "grumpy one" round, so should be good and peaceful

Thanks

Hope you are having a nice New Year as well.

Beaver79

We usually just have a couple of neighbours round @66Mustang

66Mustang

That sounds nice, hope you enjoy it  

I should have mentioned we are having the people round on New Year's Day, I am usually asleep well before midnight on New Year's Eve  

CherSaysHello

@66Mustang Well done on facing an anxiety provoking situation and handling it sensitively whilst carving out your own boundaries. Christmas can be a bit of a pressure cooker family wise and I totally appreciate how you would have felt! Bravo 👏🏻

I hope the rest of the festive period goes well and dont be afraid to take a breather if you feel the need 💚

66Mustang

Thanks for your kind words @CherSaysHello and it's nice to see you, I hope you had a nice Christmas  

Biblioklept

I know that would have taken a lot for you to do and you absolutely did the right thing @66Mustang!! Well done! I hope she's reflected on her behaviour and is better next time she visits!!!

66Mustang

Thanks @Biblioklept  

Sadly I don't think she will ever change but we will keep trying just in case
 
She has had customer service reps put the phone down on her, GP nurses tell her to stop abusing them and putting the phone down. She used to be quite high up at work and everyone was scared of her...at least we know its not just us she is like it with.

That said my attitude is even if she will never change we should still stand up to her as if we just take the abuse it just teaches her she is OK to be that way