I feel depressed and really down

ilovepink97

Hi everyone 
I’m feeling so down and I don’t know how to be happy I really tried but it’s so hard 
I went out the other day and this man smiled at me He looked exactly like my abusive ex husband I was so scared I wanted to cry I felt worried he was going to kill me as in the past he has put fire near my face and threatened to burn me. 

it’s so hard going out i feel im in danger 
I left work due to my illnesses and I feel like I’ve let everyone down 
My family must think im useless and I don’t feel well 
I try to pray and to be kind and it doesn’t work and I know other people are in better situations but why am I so unhappy 
I feel unsafe and like I don’t belong anywhere 
I feel unloved and I feel like a failure 

I’ve waited years for care for the mental health team and im still waiting 

does anyone have advice on what I can do to improve my mental health (I’ve normally resulted into cutting my wrists but I really want to manage myself before then) 
I don’t know what to do I’m just so upset with everything that’s happened 

ilovepink97

Other people are in worst situations * than me so I feel awful and selfish for feeling this way 

Albus_Scope

Hi @ilovepink97, please don't feel selfish, your feelings are just as valid as anyone elses and you matter! 

I don't know the background, but have you spoken to your GP about all of this recently, or about PTSD? Or Samaritans perhaps?  

You're far from a failure because you had to leave work.  Just see it as a slight hump in the road, things can and do get better.  

Albus_Scope

Heya @ilovepink97, just checking in to see how you were feeling today?  And did you get the email I sent you yesterday? 

lookingadvice

ilovepink97 said:

Hi everyone 
I’m feeling so down and I don’t know how to be happy I really tried but it’s so hard 
I went out the other day and this man smiled at me He looked exactly like my abusive ex husband I was so scared I wanted to cry I felt worried he was going to kill me as in the past he has put fire near my face and threatened to burn me. 

it’s so hard going out i feel im in danger 
I left work due to my illnesses and I feel like I’ve let everyone down 
My family must think im useless and I don’t feel well 
I try to pray and to be kind and it doesn’t work and I know other people are in better situations but why am I so unhappy 
I feel unsafe and like I don’t belong anywhere 
I feel unloved and I feel like a failure 

I’ve waited years for care for the mental health team and im still waiting 

does anyone have advice on what I can do to improve my mental health (I’ve normally resulted into cutting my wrists but I really want to manage myself before then) 
I don’t know what to do I’m just so upset with everything that’s happened 

Hi love pink. I'm not sure where you live but I do know in the UK there a charities that offer free counselling. There is also phone lines that are free to call samaritans etc, I jave uses them myself. Sounds like you had a trigger seeing someone who looked like your ex. There's a thing my counsellor told me about called grounding techniques. When you are triggered and panicked, look for 5 things blue ( or any colour), or listen for 5 sounds you can hear. This will take you out of thre reliving the past part and bring you back to here and now. Remember to breath too. Good luck