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I feel depressed and really down

ilovepink97

Hi everyone
I’m feeling so down and I don’t know how to be happy I really tried but it’s so hard
I went out the other day and this man smiled at me He looked exactly like my abusive ex husband I was so scared I wanted to cry I felt worried he was going to kill me as in the past he has put fire near my face and threatened to burn me.

it’s so hard going out i feel im in danger
I left work due to my illnesses and I feel like I’ve let everyone down
My family must think im useless and I don’t feel well
I try to pray and to be kind and it doesn’t work and I know other people are in better situations but why am I so unhappy
I feel unsafe and like I don’t belong anywhere
I feel unloved and I feel like a failure

I’ve waited years for care for the mental health team and im still waiting

does anyone have advice on what I can do to improve my mental health (I’ve normally resulted into cutting my wrists but I really want to manage myself before then)
I don’t know what to do I’m just so upset with everything that’s happened

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ilovepink97

Other people are in worst situations * than me so I feel awful and selfish for feeling this way

Albus_Alumni

Hi @ilovepink97, please don't feel selfish, your feelings are just as valid as anyone elses and you matter!

I don't know the background, but have you spoken to your GP about all of this recently, or about PTSD? Or Samaritans perhaps?

You're far from a failure because you had to leave work. Just see it as a slight hump in the road, things can and do get better.

Albus_Alumni

Heya @ilovepink97, just checking in to see how you were feeling today? And did you get the email I sent you yesterday?

lookingadvice

ilovepink97 said:

Hi everyone
I’m feeling so down and I don’t know how to be happy I really tried but it’s so hard
I went out the other day and this man smiled at me He looked exactly like my abusive ex husband I was so scared I wanted to cry I felt worried he was going to kill me as in the past he has put fire near my face and threatened to burn me.

it’s so hard going out i feel im in danger
I left work due to my illnesses and I feel like I’ve let everyone down
My family must think im useless and I don’t feel well
I try to pray and to be kind and it doesn’t work and I know other people are in better situations but why am I so unhappy
I feel unsafe and like I don’t belong anywhere
I feel unloved and I feel like a failure

I’ve waited years for care for the mental health team and im still waiting

does anyone have advice on what I can do to improve my mental health (I’ve normally resulted into cutting my wrists but I really want to manage myself before then)
I don’t know what to do I’m just so upset with everything that’s happened

Hi love pink. I'm not sure where you live but I do know in the UK there a charities that offer free counselling. There is also phone lines that are free to call samaritans etc, I jave uses them myself. Sounds like you had a trigger seeing someone who looked like your ex. There's a thing my counsellor told me about called grounding techniques. When you are triggered and panicked, look for 5 things blue ( or any colour), or listen for 5 sounds you can hear. This will take you out of thre reliving the past part and bring you back to here and now. Remember to breath too. Good luck