Getting some home help

agent_next_door

The condition inside my home has deteriorated because a temporary health condition that took longer and longer to address, turned out to be more full time, so what started as a carpet not being hoovered as much, progressed into a dirty mess reflects, what is to be expected by anyone who can't physically cope.  I've been making use of paper plates and plastic cutlery, and a host of other ridiculous workarounds for about 3 years, to try and dodge the situation, but today when someone had to come round (it's rented property) I realised I'm gonna have to address this one way or another.  I felt ashamed, but what can I do?

I've been pondering for at least a year about getting help in, the problem is how to go about doing this?  I don't mind paying someone for a couple hours every week, but because of how bad things have gotten, I expect it's a job most people would object.  With this in mind, I'm happy to pay extra and make it clear, but where?

My long term partner (I do not live with) comes to see me every day, and they have been invaluable in helping in almost every other way, from the shopping, to doing the laundry etc, but she also has her own life to live, and in addition to that, when she comes, it's nice to actually spend time together, usually watch something, than give her endless chores, of which she has more than enough.  I've asked her and she doesn't really know how to get help.

I obviously get the disability allowance, so I am perfectly ok with paying someone myself, I'm not expecting the council to come on my behalf or anything, just a simple arrangement between 2 people, and I really can't face this being "oh well you need forms and insurance and such" this is a simple cash in hand kinda setup I have in mind at an amount that is in keeping with any laws.

Any ideas from anyone?  I don't use Facebook or anything like that, and even if I did, I wouldn't be happy posting on there, because it feels like a personal thing that you can't really look after yourself very well. Thanks for any help or advice on this

WhatThe

Hi, I suggest putting a note in a newsagent's window and having someone with you when you interview people. 

Hannah_Alumni

Hello @agent_next_door

Have you thought about applying for a needs assessment? They can help with things like home cleaning, shopping and even support with equipment and adaptations if needed. If you'd like to go a more private route, like WhatThe suggested, can pop a notice in the Newsagents or Post Office. Or maybe ask at your local GP Practice if they know of any one local that could help?

birdwatcher

I can understand your situation. My home and garden aren't as nice as I'd like them to be now. Physically I can't keep on top of stuff now. I'm not going to be a lot of help so apologise in advance. But my work background was care work and just wanted to say please be careful when you're looking for help. Make sure it's someone you can trust. 

CATP

birdwatcher said:

I can understand your situation. My home and garden aren't as nice as I'd like them to be now. Physically I can't keep on top of stuff now. I'm not going to be a lot of help so apologise in advance. But my work background was care work and just wanted to say please be careful when you're looking for help. Make sure it's someone you can trust. 

i agree, i get 24 hour care (with my own waking night to) funded within a supported living service and as much as i hate recomending them (a lot of history with physical and financial abuse with them) ,agent next door be best off looking into care/home help agencies as the legit ones shoud be checking every single staff for an enhanced DBS, which makes them safer in theory.

theres always friends if youve got any (thats not a horrible joke by the way,i dont have any friends) who might be willing to do cleaning and tidying or whatever is needed,or a friend of a friend that they trust with there life.

not quite the same thing,but i originaly found a carer for my rabbit, on a website ,she turned out to be the most helpful person ive ever met,she visited my care home every day while i was at my dads,played with luna and fed/watered her and cleaned her out, and emailed me photos of her with a daily report of her,she visited twice a day at £8 a day, and she had never ever worked with a rabbit before.sadly she no longer does the job.

so,you can find that perfect person but id personaly rather go with someone whose got a legit enhanced DBS,lovely warm person who treats your place as an individual and makes everytihng bespoke to your needs.

agent_next_door

Thank youHannah_Scope said:

Hello @agent_next_door

Have you thought about applying for a needs assessment? They can help with things like home cleaning, shopping and even support with equipment and adaptations if needed. If you'd like to go a more private route, like WhatThe suggested, can pop a notice in the Newsagents or Post Office. Or maybe ask at your local GP Practice if they know of any one local that could help?

Hi there, no it's not something I've considered. I don't know anymore than 1 friend here, I moved here about ten years ago, and things went sideways just weeks after arriving, so I never really got the opportunity to meet many people. strangers is something I struggle with anyway, so this wouldn't be easy at the best of times, but I do have a rock solid girlfriend about 12 years, and a good friend who I've known about 20 years who also moved at a similar time, by chance or a twist of fate perhaps!

I like your idea about newsagent board, it's been so long I don't know if they still have one, but I'll look next time I can get across. Thanks 

Hannah_Alumni

@agent_next_door Please keep us updated I hope you find some support.