What a weird day

wkd

So today I rang my doctor when the nurse didn't ring and apparently, I have changed doctors which I haven't, so they were going to investigate.

 Last month I sent an email to cancel my car order and heard nothing back, so today I decided to register with Motability and see if my car had been cancelled, it was still on order, not cancelled, whilst I was waiting for the doctors to ring back a phone call through, I assumed it was the doctor's surgery, but it was the car showroom to say the car ordered in December that was due in July had just turned up with no warning whatsoever.
 I thought about my cancellation email and then thought  I no longer no go to the shop due to anxiety and physical problems  I have become more and more isolated, totally cut off from my family and friends, and have become so much more depressed, so perhaps this car was meant to be.  I know I can no longer cope with such a hostile environment where I am a hostage to fear,  so in the end it is sink or swim, I chose to swim.!

Hannah_Alumni

@wkd I do hope the car is meant to be and it helps you! I know members here like to go on drives as it helps their mental health.

I hope you have support around you for your mental health. Please know that there are organisations like SHOUT or NHS Talking Therapies out there to help if you need it  

wkd

Hannah_Scope said:

@wkd I do hope the car is meant to be and it helps you! I know members here like to go on drives as it helps their mental health.

I hope you have support around you for your mental health. Please know that there are organisations like SHOUT or NHS Talking Therapies out there to help if you need it  

I am ok, I am registered with Talking Therapies, well I was. I spoke with the doctors today about the de-registering me and they said it seems to be a human error on their part (which they categorically said could not happen yesterday) but said they won't know until Monday as the person who can access what happened, the Practice Manager is on holiday.  That figures. 

 And you are so right, I have been alone, cut off from family and friends for months and living in the middle of nowhere it's hard for them to come over, so getting in a car where I am safe and being able to go for a drive or visit my family is a Godsend for my MH. I have not driven in 10 years, so very anxious about that, however, my brother said he would help me build up my confidence and go out with me on any trips.

Hannah_Alumni

I hope the sort it all out on Monday when they are back!  

That will be lovely too. Having some time with your brother I can't wait to hear about your driving adventures! 

wkd

Hannah_Scope said:

I hope the sort it all out on Monday when they are back!  

That will be lovely too. Having some time with your brother I can't wait to hear about your driving adventures! 

The car show salesman is going to send me photos, as I  can't collect the car yet as I have put my driving licence in my married name, got married 10 years ago, but lived abroad and never changed my name when I came back due to anxiety of having to take my photo for a passport. It took a psychologist to help me overcome that fear, well it's still a fear but she broke it down in steps for me. 

 I now have the driving licence after months of problems applying for it, however, my pip award is in my maiden name, so it has to be changed before I can get my car. I have called her Marnie. I just thought she is probably going to be my best friend and change my life.

Hannah_Alumni

I'm glad you had that support! Means the licence is on its way and you and Marnie will be on the open road! Have you or your brother got any ideas on what to do locally with the drives? Pop to the shops? maybe the garden centre? 

wkd

Hannah_Scope said:

I'm glad you had that support! Means the licence is on its way and you and Marnie will be on the open road! Have you or your brother got any ideas on what to do locally with the drives? Pop to the shops? maybe the garden centre? 

I have the licence it took months, as they kept sending it back asking for more things. My driving licence is in my married name, however, my PIP award letter is in my maiden name, so that's what i have to change as my PIP award doesn't tally with my new driving licence.  

I will probably go to the beach when it's quiet, I just can't do crowds or shops with people, I have terrible panic attacks when people come near me. The last time I tried to do that I went to Sainsbury's when it was very late but as soon as I got there, I couldn't breathe and had a full-blown attack. The staff sat me down and bought me water, I felt stupid but they were very nice and caring.

I love the beach, I  was brought up in a seaside town, it's my zen place and always has been. My favourite beach place in the world is Miami. I  used to live there when I was 21, so beautiful white sand and turquoise waters.