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moving out while my family lives basically on my benefits

readytogo

hi, i'm currently as student living in accommodation but i've been wanting to start the process of moving out of my family home and town indefinitely. My mum currently receives my PIP on my behalf and has since i turned i was young. every time i bring it up with her she essentially throws a tantrum and accuses me of only caring about money and wanting to leave her. its very apparent that she doesn't want me to have a life of my own and want me to stay with her for ever. she recieves carers allowance and this is her only income even though i'm in university most of the time and care for myself. Im a wheelchair user but i have little to no care needs as my upper body is completely mobile and i have some mobility in my legs with the help of my walking sticks. i'm not sure of the entire process thats the main reason im coming on here because i don't want to leave my family completely destitute as the home we currently live in is accessible housing and i'm scared that if speak with the council and begin the process of moving out they'll be kicked out.

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Bydand

readytogo said:

hi, i'm currently as student living in accommodation but i've been wanting to start the process of moving out of my family home and town indefinitely. My mum currently receives my PIP on my behalf and has since i turned i was young. every time i bring it up with her she essentially throws a tantrum and accuses me of only caring about money and wanting to leave her. its very apparent that she doesn't want me to have a life of my own and want me to stay with her for ever. she recieves carers allowance and this is her only income even though i'm in university most of the time and care for myself. Im a wheelchair user but i have little to no care needs as my upper body is completely mobile and i have some mobility in my legs with the help of my walking sticks. i'm not sure of the entire process thats the main reason im coming on here because i don't want to leave my family completely destitute as the home we currently live in is accessible housing and i'm scared that if speak with the council and begin the process of moving out they'll be kicked out.

Hi, It’s good that you have reached out and told your story, I am sure that you will get lots of advice.

I obviously don’t know the ins and outs of everything but could it be that your mum is worried that you moving out and becoming independent will cause her problems financially? . As it stands, although the benefits are to support you,she is the one who receives your PIP and gets carers allowance, you have also stated this is all the income she has. Perhaps your mum throwing a tantrum and not talking about things is her way of deflecting the issue away because she does not want to think about things financially if and when you move out.

I don’t want to speak out of turn either but reading between the lines it sounds to me and likely others reading this post that your mum does not currently provide the 35 hrs a week care in order to legally receive the allowance. If I am wrong then that’s great but I would be worried that this might come back and bite you or your mum because if true then it would clearly be construed as fraud and misrepresentation. You might find that your mum is aware of this and this is also a worry for her.

Becoming independent is part and parcel of life and is an important step in your life. Just as your mum became independent, you will.

It’s likely not a nice thing for your mum to think about for a variety of reasons, and she may have genuine concerns due to your disability, I think any loving parent would worry about their children.

Your mum throwing a tantrum isn’t helpful though as by doing so she is only going to make the process harder and more protracted than it needs to be. If you feel that you can’t talk to her could you write or message her instead?.

i am sure that there are many people on this forum who live independent lives whilst having great relationships with their parent/s.

You can’t live in the shadow of others and need to do what you believe is right for you.

I hope things sort themselves out
kindest
S

Albus_Alumni

Heya @readytogo and welcome from me too.

I can see you're already getting some top advice, but I wanted to stop in and say hi.
I would agree that the first step would be speaking to the DWP and looking into getting the PIP moved into your name as you're an adult.
As for carers allowance, as Woodbine has said, to qualify, your mum must be looking after you for at least 35 hours a week. If this isn't happening, the DWP really needs to be spoken to as we don't want you getting into hot water!