Every day looks the same

Kamu777

God I've written so much but somehow it all was deleted and now I feel sad. I was saying... Every day looks the same, I feel no motivation at all. Nothing can get me enthusiastic. I don't want to wake up because every day is just the same, I can't seem to find something that can make me FEEL anything at all. I just feel motion less. Not even food seems like an appealing idea. I guess I'm depressed. I've taken a depression test and the results were positive. I'm under sertralina and risperidona (don't know the names in English) and I guess the pills make me feel motion less. I've been diagnosed for anxiety disorder and before medication, my life was such a roller-coaster of emotions. Sometimes very high and happy, and others very sad and without strength at all. Life was very hard. Now I don't feel extremes, I just feel like I don't feel nothing at all. And that scares me and frustrates me. I like enjoying things, but now I don't. I've had issues with drug abuse, and I think its because they made me FEEL things. Now I don't want to be in that hole again. But it's been very hard. Can't focus in anything, don't like how I look, can't feel motivated by anything. I talk to friends and find out that they don't question themselves like I do. They just DO and that's all. I can't. I need to feel things and feel I have some kind of purpose. Life can't be just going to work and watching Netflix. I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I guess I just need some validation. I'll have therapy on Saturday, this is the only thing that can make me feel a little better. 

Rosie_Scope

Hello @Kamu777, sorry to hear you're feeling like this at the moment, it sounds really difficult. 

Have you spoken to your GP about the way you're feeling? They might be able to talk you through different possibilities if you feel your medication isn't working the way you'd like it to. 

Do you have any supportive friends or family you could talk through your feelings with? I can understand that this might be difficult, I know sometimes even people you're close to can struggle to empathise if they haven't been through similar things. But I'm sure your friends would want to help any way they can if you felt able to reach out to them

I hope Saturday comes around fast for you and your therapy session is helpful. We're here if you just need some understanding people to chat to