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Accidentally offending someone

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66Mustang
66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,982 Disability Gamechanger
I was just thinking about my Dad meeting somebody with the same surname as him and saying to her that he was glad he wasn't the only person with such a stupid name, and the young lady got quite upset! :confused:

Does anyone have any, ideally amusing, stories of times you accidentally caused offence?

Or maybe times where someone accidentally did the same you?

Comments

  • rubin16
    rubin16 Community member, Scope Member Posts: 789 Disability Gamechanger
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    Okay so I have a strange story, I misinterpret language alot of the times with my autism. So when someone is trying to be nice to me I can take it the wrong way. Anyway when I was like 17 my nans neighbours and friends kept calling me "bonny" and I misinterpreted this to mean I was fat. So I got really upset with this and stopped eating for ages, this is what triggered my first ever crohns flare up and went from like 14 stone to 7 stone and went really thin and nearly died.

    My orginal name also isn't Rubin, my name I was born with was Daniel, and people would sing "Danny Boy" to me and I didn't like it. I built up a hateward towards my name so as soon as I reached 18 I changed it to Rubin by deed poll. Rubin was my online persona at first and its what I always called myself through games and things till eventually it became my official name. I love my name now but hated and still do hate being called Daniel which my family still call me sometimes. I tell them to atleast call me Dan or Rubin but not to ever call me Daniel and get quite offended when they call me this to which sometimes they do, especially my nan and I have to correct them.
    I have Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, Gilberts Syndrome and Crohn's Disease and have knowledge in these areas.


  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,982 Disability Gamechanger
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    That's interesting about your name @rubin16!!!!!

    Any reason for choosing Rubin?? You don't have to answer of course!
  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 12,115 Disability Gamechanger
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    In the last week I have had three calls from different agencies about my sight loss, between them they have either got my name wrong, my address wrong or in one case both, don't get me wrong they were all perfectly nice and useful but it made me chuckle as opposed to offending me.

    2024 Election won

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,982 Disability Gamechanger
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    @woodbine

    I am absolutely there with you

    What offends me is intent, rather than the actual words used

    If someone didn’t intend to offend me, I wouldn’t be offende
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 5,706 Disability Gamechanger
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    People get my names wrong ALLLLL the time, even after I changed from my original first name by deed poll many moons ago.  I still find it hilarious!  :D 

    I've accidentally offended people in the past, now I know it wasn't me being rude, it was me not understanding the social cues due to autism.  I'm overly cautious these days!
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

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  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Community member Posts: 14,982 Disability Gamechanger
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    @Albus_Scope goes back to what I mean I guess - it’s all in the intent
  • michael57
    michael57 Community member Posts: 350 Pioneering
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    when i am out with she who must be obeyed i am told to zip it being an old farmer i say it as i see it 
  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community member Posts: 770 Disability Gamechanger
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    michael57 said:
    when i am out with she who must be obeyed i am told to zip it being an old farmer i say it as i see it 
    Same as.  Be it wee shaming if I see someone not washing their hands then touching merchandise in a shop and general rudeness.  Not adverse to saying what's on my mind.   Usually ending with a look from my wife.

    I don't intentionally set out to offend anyone, some people get offended at what I say, some laugh.  Human nature and quirks

    On the flip side, it takes a lot to offend me ... I'm a big believer in; I might not agree or like what someone says - but I will fight for their right to say it.  No matter how close to the knuckle or offensive others may find it
  • michael57
    michael57 Community member Posts: 350 Pioneering
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    WelshBlue said:
    michael57 said:
    when i am out with she who must be obeyed i am told to zip it being an old farmer i say it as i see it 
    Same as.  Be it wee shaming if I see someone not washing their hands then touching merchandise in a shop and general rudeness.  Not adverse to saying what's on my mind.   Usually ending with a look from my wife.

    I don't intentionally set out to offend anyone, some people get offended at what I say, some laugh.  Human nature and quirks

    On the flip side, it takes a lot to offend me ... I'm a big believer in; I might not agree or like what someone says - but I will fight for their right to say it.  No matter how close to the knuckle or offensive others may find it
    and thats how it should be 
  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community member Posts: 770 Disability Gamechanger
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    Going up behind someone in an outdoor market and saying, "What you doing here you ugly bar steward " <insert similar word>

    I'm not sure who was most surprised, a complete stranger and not the friend I thought it was, or me when he grabbed me by the throat  :p

    Luckily he saw the funny side before it escalated 
  • Albus_Scope
    Albus_Scope Posts: 5,706 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hahaha, I think we've all been there @WelshBlue :D 
    Albus (he/him)

    Online Community Coordinator @ Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
    Want to give us feedback? Complete our feedback form now.
    Opinions expressed are solely my own.
    Neurodivergent.
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