Dealing with rejection / doubt / suspicion

66Mustang

A random thread question as I can’t sleep due to overthinking so trying to write some of it down to see if it helps

Has anyone else had to deal with doubt or rejection when it comes to their illness or disability or health issue? Does it even bother you if people understand??

I have gone through a bit of distress recently as a result of rejection from within the disability community - being told stuff like I am fabricating my psychological conditions; or that I am “wrong” in how my conditions manifest - as if it’s even a question of being right or wrong, and/or I have a choice when it comes to any part of my problems

Most people I’ve found are super nice and supporting but I guess we are programmed to apply disproportionate weight to the opinions of those who have a desire to harm us

I’m not going to lie and before I became (slightly) more educated in disability I did have a few ignorant preconceptions with regards to various conditions. I’m ashamed of that but I’m always keen to learn and have happily dismissed those views long ago after learning relevant information

Sometimes I think things would be easier if I was visibly disabled but I know that people with visible problems get their own kind of abuse. It’s hard to admit but in truth they are probably worse off, because their aggressors are acting out of pure malice, at least mine can in part be put down to ignorance 

I don’t really know why I care so much about rejection and people disliking me, it wouldn’t make me better even if everyone understood what I’m going through, its a strange one I guess

Can anyone relate though??

Jimm_Alumni

I can completely relate @66Mustang. I have always struggled with this and the struggle hasn't become much easier even as I've become aware of the way I think and the way my brain works. Have you read up about Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria? It's common with people who have ADHD, my therapist almost immediately spotted it with me.

For me it's actually worst with people I am closer to and more friendly with. I still get it with strangers, but the worry about rejection just heightens with the more connection I feel to the person. It has at times meant I've let people walk all over me in the past. When I was younger I would often try to hide problems too, for fear that people would reject me if they knew I was having trouble with things. Or the fear of asking for help and then being rejected would just stop me asking for help.

Even when someone has shown no inclination to disliking me, or isn't showing annoyance, there can still be a hidden feeling that I have upset them or done some kind of wrong that could make them dislike me. If that's similar to how you feel then I understand, it can be… draining.

I have more to say I, think but I can't get the words to form in my head properly right now so maybe I will try later!

How are you doing today by the way?

Hammy57

I have found it incredibly difficult at how many friends I have lost since I became disabled and this has affected my mental health massively. I don’t understand how people who have been in your life for more than 30 years can suddenly act as though you don’t exist just because, of a disability. It is something that really really bothers me and I can’t stop overthinking it which becomes a vicious circle as my mental health affects my physical disabilities.

Jimm_Alumni

It can be very difficult @Hammy57, many people do struggle to understand how difficult it is. I've heard numerous times about "you're playing it up" or "it can't be that bad" and those are indeed the people that eventually just walk away. Their own experience of life, and a certain lack of empathy, means they just cannot comprehend the difficulty we often have to go through everyday.

But, I have also found some amazing friends, it really is about trying to find people who understand, or even if they don't understand they at least accept what you say when you talk about your experiences.

Albus_Scope

I for one am glad you spoke up @Ada I know it wasn't easy for you so thank you.

And yes, I did a post here all about RSD. Hopefully it can help others too. 😊

Hammy57

that is really sad that something bad happened on here. I came on here thinking it would be good for me.

Agulu

I have, and I don't know what how to deal with this 😢

janruth

The majority of long term mental health diagnosis are not genetic but the result of trauma during childhood.I have spent my life struggling to come to terms with what made me who I am today. I trust no one. Have no friends and live my life locked away. It's safe. People on the outside of mental health don't understand, are fearful of anyone outside the norm and as such react differently to us. This just heightens our anxiety about not fitting in. Life can be very lonely in our space and its not something anyone would exagerate or make up. After all, we all long to be normal!