Migration, both parents care for disabled child

autisticdad91
autisticdad91 Online Community Member Posts: 15 Listener
edited August 5 in Universal Credit (UC)

Hello,

I am very concerned at the moment, we recieved our migration letter to move to UC. We have 4 kids.

So it's a difficult situation our youngest child has ASD, developmental delay, sleep disorder and sensory processing. My wife is down as his carer but in reality we both have to as he only sleeps 3/4 hours a night of disturbed sleep and requires full 1 to 1 care at all times. Throw in our older 3 children (10,8,7) and life is non stop and exhausting ( my wife sleeps maybe 5 hrs a night I sleep 3 if I'm lucky)

Now Reading the terms of UC I will be forced into 35 hrs worth of work a week, that would be impossible, due to my youngest we both have to do school runs, he gets sent home 2/3 times a week and my wife doesn't drive. We have appointments and meetings a few times a week. We have no family to help. Our youngest cant go into the kitchen so cant cook wothout both of us in.To put this into perspective I have not been on a date or even slept in the same bed as my wife for 4 years, don't go out with friends andlimited on what we are able to do. we are both exhausted and run to the bone. Throw in 35hrs of work and I think we'd both have a breakdown.

Any advice on what we can do?

Thank you and sorry for the long post

Comments

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 1,656 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    HI @autisticdad91. It sounds like a very difficult situation for your family. I'm not very familiar with the terms of Universal Credit but I'm sure there'll be someone here who can help you.

    Do you have any mental health support in place for you and your wife?

  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Online Community Member Posts: 62,461 Championing

    I found a thread from Welfare Rights that may help you. Please take note of comment number 3. https://www.rightsnet.org.uk/forums/viewthread/14127/#66260

  • autisticdad91
    autisticdad91 Online Community Member Posts: 15 Listener

    Thank you for the replies, unfortunately since diagnosis we have found help limited and mine and my wife's mental wellbeing does take a backseat but we feel extremely grateful we have eachother and through the exhaustion and stress we do have a laugh and our kids are very happy and amazing so we consider ourselves lucky in that term.

    That link was helpful thank you if I have to work 15hrs a week or something I can make it work but 35 would be impossible. Before our youngest I used to work 45hrs a week so I've always been a hard worker.

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