"Am I happy with the way that I am - and if not - what can / will I do about it ?"

Wibbles

This is a question put to me by my wife/carer this morning and to be honest - I don't know where to start ….

Anybody got any ideas ?

Bluebell21

Good morning @Wibbles Perhaps you could write a list of What you are happy with and another list of what you would like to change and if you could do anything to achieve the changes. Good luck.

OverlyAnxious

I don't think that's a particularly difficult question. Though I can appreciate it may come as a bit of a shock from someone so close. From previous threads, you've expressed an interest in having a very long life, which suggests to me that you are happy/content with your current situation to a certain extent.

Personally I spend every hour of every day praying for the sweet release. I can't complete basic daily tasks any more, can't really eat, am in constant pain & discomfort (which I seem to find more intolerable than most people). Can't move to a more accessible property, can't access healthcare, can't access emergency services, can't cope with workmen or deliveries and have no way to cope with even the slightest thing going wrong now. (Proven repeatedly in recent months!)

I've spent a long time trying to work out what I can do about it, but the answer in my case is 'nothing' because of seemingly rare underlying condition(s) I have and the narrow view of disability access in the society we live in.

onedayatatime

"Am I happy with the way that I am - and if not - what can / will I do about it ?" I think that's a very deep question and definitely one that got myself thinking. Personally, I'd start with all the things I was happy with. There are obviously aspects I am also not happy with and perhaps the second part of the question is to help identify things that are within my control to change and acceptance of those that I can't. If I identify things I am not happy with, perhaps there are ways that I can work towards changing that around. It may help to identify that I may need extra help or support for some things, I may need some additional resources or help with accessibility or guidance. This could raise some very deep and personal questions but equally identify what brings you the most happiness and how that can be expanded. Your question has definitely got me thinking @Wibbles ! It's definitely food for thought in a positive way.

Jimm_Scope

I think it's a good question to ask yourself now and then. Sometimes you have to identify what exactly is causing any unhappiness though, as it's not always obvious or surface level.

I do think the more complex issue though is what to do afterward you've identified things though.

Over a year ago I had a pretty big list of things that I wasn't happy with about myself. Some of them were things that weren't actually issues, if that makes sense. They were things that I instead had to think about differently and accept. Some were helped by changing my coping mechanisms, and some were helped by making slow, incremental changes.

There are still things on that list a year ago that would go onto the list again now. But there's a lot from the old list that wouldn't be there anymore. Despite not managing it all, I've made quite a few changes and improvements from last year, and it isn't always an easy or quick thing.

While it obviously isn't an option for everyone unfortunately, therapy helped me massively with both identifying things I was unhappy with about myself and then with the complexity of what should be done (if anything, in one or two cases things I identified as making me unhappy weren't actually what was making me unhappy).

I don't know if this helped, but it is something that has mattered quite a bit to me this past year.