Hi scope community

FATBLOKES

Hi, I'm using my aka name and this is because I feel vulnerable.

I'm 51 on the 31 of this month, I was a very big and powerful person and worked as a floor manager in a very large printing company.

In 2012 I had bariatric surgery and this was due to becoming a manager which put me in a office rather than a machine operator, I lost 75 kg in less than 12 months but was taken in to hospital as they expected I had a stroke or heart attack, it turned out that because of the rapid weight loss my neck shrunk by 8 inches, and this was causing trapped nerves. So I had a ADCF but all of my spine had stenosis, I have had multiple surgeries and another being a ADCF on another 2 levels of my neck, I found out when I had my first surgery that it was a possibility for the nerves not to recover due to the time they had been compressed, I had the other neck surgery last year and again my nerves did not recover, this was affecting my waterworks and my legs, so I now have to self catheterize every 5 hours so I don't get UTIs. I am also awaiting a hip replacement as my right hip has completely worn away and I have nothing either on my pelvis and top of my hip joint. I take a lot of high strength meditation including fentynal and 1ltr of morphine solution alongside side around 20 other medication. I have been suicidal since 2013 after the failure of my new life after the weight loss and have made multiple attempts on my life, the first taking 200 tramadol pills. I have been sectioned multiple times and in constant contact with my psychiatrists and psychologists.

Anyway that's me apart from my real name and I live in east London.

And I'm happy to find this forum.