Date night

beadles93
beadles93 Community member Posts: 26 Connected
in Relationships

Hey everyone having better day. Trying to do better also putting effort to have couple time away from people and date night any ideas how we can a bit of intimacy between me and my partner both have 24hr care cerebral Palsy spastic quadriplegia full time wheelchair users

Comments

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 4,438 Scope Online Community Coordinator

    Hello @beadles93!

    Would a movie marathon be a nice date night for you both? Get some of your favourite snacks in and snuggle down somewhere soft under a blanket. I've done movie marathons with my partner of films that are so bad they're good and that can be fun, but it's not to everyone's taste!

    You could watch whatever you're into, or even have themed nights where you match the snacks to the film 😊

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community member Posts: 26 Connected

    Hi

    @Rosie_Scope that is wonderful idea however we both full-time electric wheelchair user and or hoisted so can't sit and cuddle together

  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,690 Cerebral Palsy Network
    edited September 11

    Hi @beadles93

    Have you thought about having a conversation with your support staff to see if they would put you on the bed together so that you can hug each other?

    If that is something you would be comfortable with, I would suggest asking the staff that you are most relaxed with.

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community member Posts: 26 Connected

    Hi

    @Richard_Scope yes I have. This hasvm happened before with previous P.A's of mines. We just have to carefully as his carers are a company. They have very different rules

  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,690 Cerebral Palsy Network

    @beadles93 your partner's carers cannot prevent him from having a romantic life.

    Here is some information that might be useful for the more reluctant staff:

    Advice to Health Professionals

    If you feel ill-equipped to discuss sex with clients, or feel insure about initiating discussions, then visit and talk to your line manager. 

    We recommend “Supporting Disabled People with their Sexual Lives – A Clear Guide for Health and Social Care Professionals” Tuppy Owens and Claire de Than (2015) Jessica Kingsley Publishers. 

    http://www.sexualrespect.com/

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community member Posts: 26 Connected

    Thank you @Richard_Scope but I can't see it helping I complained few years ago about member of staff who said if we staying in same bedroom on holiday she would drive straight home! Nothing was done. It was done to my carer and her partner and ex carer of my partner to puts us in bed together for few hours.

  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 58,881 Championing

    thats awful for you That carers refuse. Have you thought of having a meeting with the care agency management and talk this through?

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community member Posts: 26 Connected

    @Sandy_123 yeah I did. i told my company owner that it was safeguarding issue

  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 58,881 Championing

    Hopefully you get answers that you want

  • beadles93
    beadles93 Community member Posts: 26 Connected

    Thank you I to know how it can be safeguarding when we both adults and sound of mine

  • dkb123
    dkb123 Community member, Scope Member Posts: 169 Empowering

    Technically, you are suffering mental abuse by the staff, which could lead to all sorts of problems

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