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Gordo1886

Note from online community team:

This post contains mature themes and frank discussion about sex so may not be appropriate for some members and younger people.

hi there in Gordon 62 and live in Motherwell Scotland south of Glasgow, I am disabled and bedridden in my own high rise home , iv never really been interested in chasing sex I lost out in the genetic lottery but I accepted that the last time was 12 years ago I was pretty disabled but could still walk , I reunited with an old schoolmate who she fancied me aged 7 anyway we were together two years but with my pain and limitations I was finding it increasing df difficult to make love to her and she was very demanding but I could please her I'm other ways than vaginal sex this woman wanted to wed but I pulled back I knew my health was deteriorating year on year so we sort of fizzled out.

I miss her she was funny well educated and gregarious but my mother was also living with me in my old flag and I had to tend to mother's needs she was 84 and needed help with her finances and daily life I'd been at my mother's side all my life so I had to to make a decision and I chose my mother it was terribly difficult decision,my partner was bereft and dad I felt guilty it couldn't be both together and I chaperoned my mother into old age she died last year July.

Did I make the right choice , of course I did I couldn't not choosd my beloved mother now I lie in a hospital bed staring at the TV all day , I get 2 carers 4 times a day done are beautiful young girls you're ahead of me aren't you well when girls bed bathe you old feelings flood back iv always thought I was impotent this last few years I can't remember the last time I had an erection iv been very sad and depressed lately thinking about the past and old girlfriends . .

I wondered would regular sex help my mood my condition and how would I go about that I don't want a partner and I'm not totally dense as to think someone would want me.

I do apologize for such a long text but writing things down helps I'm 62 with no wife or children and my past calls as me annoyingly , Gordon

Richard_Scope

Hi @Gordo1886

Don't apologise for the length of your post. I appreciate you writing it and I'm sure that there are community members that can relate to some of what you have said.

Human contact can be beneficial and of course sex. There is an organisation called the TLC-Trust that offers responsible sexual services to disabled people.

We, disabled people, have a right to a sex life.

Gordo1886

thank you.

Biblioklept

It's so lovely that you took care of your mother, putting her needs above your own shows such an amazing heart and I'm sure she was very grateful for you @Gordo1886, what an amazing son you were to her!!!

If sex is something you wish to pursue then you should go for it! I don't know if it'll help your condition but it might help your mood if that's what's getting you down

I hope this doesn't sound patronising from me but I wanted to add it's really sad to read that you think no one would want you, your ex-girlfriend wanting to marry you should show that isn't true!!! I hope you can find a way to love yourself more ❤️❤️

Adrian_Scope

Hello @Gordo1886 and a warm welcome to the community. 🙂

As @Richard_Scope said, you don't need to apologise for the length of your post—it’s important to express your feelings and thoughts fully. Physical contact is a natural and valuable part of life, and it’s worth acknowledging that you deserve affection and connection. Physical touch can be deeply comforting and is thought to be beneficial for many people

It’s not clear from your post (and I know all bodies can have involuntary reactions to touch!) but I just want to mention in case, that pursuing a personal relationship with your carers might not be appropriate given the professional boundaries in place.

To echo @Biblioklept, if you’re interested in a relationship, there’s no need to discount that possibility—just make sure it's in the right context and with someone who’s a good fit for you.

Gordo1886

yes I may like to pursue occasional contact with a woman if it would improve my mood , I don’t really feel frustrated but it may subconsciously annoying Me , I’ve had no release for about four years now so maybe it has built up and festered , the last time I masterbaited maybe 5 years ago there was no issue absolutely dry as a bone which confused me , could be the medications I don’t know I never followed it up with my GP
I had to get circumcised last year due to tightness of the foreskin and my testicles have shrunk too , if you don’t use it you lose it. G

Adrian_Scope

Thank you for sharing that, @Gordo1886. I would really encourage you to reach out and follow up with your GP, as they can provide you with guidance, especially regarding the impact of medications and any physical changes you’ve noticed. They should hopefully be able to help you navigate what’s going on and offer the right support.

Gordo1886

apologies for the graphic description I never know the boundary line these days I seem to have no filters left.