First PIP Claim

Malty

Hi All

I am new here, I have recently been diagnosed with CFS/ME and have dyslexia, dyspraxia and asthma that was diagnosed when I was a child.

We have submitted my first ever claim for PIP (read plenty of guides which helped). I feel really anxious about being award money due to my illness, in the sense that it gives me anxiety that DWP may ring me up one day and say “you should of never been given this money, you owe us £xk’s and we need paying back”.

I also feel guilty being a drain on the system. Some days, I can’t walk very far due to pay and physical exhaustion, take a bath etc. on my own and generally look after myself with cooking etc.

On better days, I can walk with mild discomfort and just feel rubbish and unrested.

I feel like I am taking someone else’s “space” in the system who needs the money and help more then we do.

My wife thinks I’m mad for feeling like this. While I can and do work at the moment (desk based from home) I am self employed so I have little choice but to work (no sick pay) and often make my illness worse by doing so when I already have bad days.

I won’t go a long distance without my wife anymore as I get incredibly anxious about feeling unwell while away from home (and often do still feel anxious when I’m with my wife, to the point it makes me ill).

To be honest, I’m amazed that the company I’m working for hasn’t terminated my work. My performance has really dropped and I can’t remember important information and decisions.

I don’t know, is this a normal way to feel?

Thanks,

malty

chiarieds

Hi @Malty - & welcome to the community. It's good that you've read up more before applying for PIP, &, as I'm sure you'll have completed the form honestly, then, if awarded, you have nothing to worry about, & won't ever be asked to repay any of it.

Please don't ever feel that you're any less deserving than another person with a disability/health condition.

I may very well be wrong, but it sounds like perhaps you're at a crossroads, where you want to carry on working, but are struggling due to how your fluctuating disorder can make you feel some days.

I have been in a similar situation, when as a self-employed person in partnership with my husband, I realised that I just couldn't carry on working 7 days a week. For a while I tried half days but then having to travel back home by bus increased my pain so much more. I was able to still do all the accounts & answer phone & email queries, & later, when my son took over our shop, I looked after it once or twice a week to give him time to be with his wife.

Gradually I came to realise that I had to listen to my body, & ease off as it was just making me worse. However, now I can give more time to my family, & help my son & his wife by looking after their dog whilst they're both working full days, so have him 3 times a week, & also look after my neighbours little dog so he could return to work after losing his wife.

Perhaps you could ask your employers if, as a 'reasonable adjustment' you could just work on those days you felt up to it, or perhaps it's time to stop, & if awarded PIP this would help you & your wife financially a little. Don't resign, see what your employers say first.

My son's wife has post-viral fatigue, but hasn't sought a diagnosis of ME, & is also asthmatic. I see how much this has affected her, & tho a change of job has helped, she really has to otherwise rest up as much as she can.

Anyway, you can't help having disabilities, & can still, & will be, a valuable member of society.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @Malty, welcome to the community.

You're definitely not mad for thinking that way. I think lots of members will be able to empathise with what you describe. Lots of us go through feelings of guilt and shame for taking benefits and it can be a really difficult thing to overcome. I totally get the guilt that happens when your condition fluctuates as well, that can be a tough one to get through.

The important thing to remember is that if you have a disability or condition and it's affecting your every day life, then those benefits are there for you. It can be a long and sometimes stressful process, but it's there to help you live your life comfortably and afford all the things that help make your disability more manageable.

The good thing about the community is lots of us have felt the same way at one point or another so there's always someone to can chat things through with. You won't be alone in how you're feeling, many of us understand what it's like.

I hope you'll enjoy being a member here 😊

How far along are you with your PIP claim? Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly for you.

Malty

Hi Rose/Cairieds,

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It is really helpful and puts my mind at rest.

I think what I didn’t like about the application process was having to show how bad things can be and then demonstrate the support that helps or would help. It’s the would help that makes me feel dishonest as I don’t truly know, other than feeling it would help.

My chronic fatigue started following a bad viral infection and has been ongoing for a year. It has given me bad anxiety and I think I have been feeding this through reading stories online about people who have had to pay money etc back after reviews with DWP.

I think I need to try and stop feeding my anxiety and cross that road should it ever happen.

I have only (this week) just submitted my form online so it will be awhile before I hear anything. Based off what I have read, I will probably get rejected anyway and have to appeal!

Thanks for the support, it’s nice to know I’m not the only person who has felt this way.

Albus_Scope

I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you @Malty there's loads of us here (me included) who understand the anxiety of claiming. But we're all here if you want to talk things through. 😊