Help with aggressiveness

dumisani

Hello, I am Dumisani's mom, a 7 year old boy with autism and would like to join a cmmunity that shares about autism and related conditions. Dumi, is verbal and in between level 1 anbd 2 , his language skills are improving but we're struggling with aggresivenes, he hits , bites and kicks and can't take instructions, particularly at kindergatern. I am looking for advices on how we can help him stop being aggresive, taking medicine was suggested , to prevent him from harming himself and others.

I look forward for the community's valuable advice.

Nightcity

hey and welcome.

I'm an adult autistic level 2 bordering 3 and need constant daily help.

aggression is usually an explosion of emotions that have overwhelmed and we can't express in the way we hope, I know others with autism and you'll be pleased to know in nearly all cases outbursts calm down in Many as we age, but for now I can only trll you the things that helped me at that age.

that's occupy the mind and occupy it some more, so look at things he really enjoys and try direct him towards those.

for example if he is going to be upset about a routine change that's coming up and you think he'll get aggressive, preempt it by sitting him down and saying something like "ok this week we have to go here, BUT don't worry because we're going to do x,y and z afterwards to.cheer you up.

it's like blackmail but with good intentions and is worth trying

Jimm_Scope

Hi @dumisani, welcome to the Scope community 😊 I'm afraid I am not experienced with helping care for a child with autism but as you can see we have some members who are autistic and are willing to share the experience from their own perspective. I will also see if our family services team have anything they could recommend to help 🙂

SaraC_Scope

Hi @dumisani

Welcome to the community. Nightcity has offered some really useful insight in how to support your child. A they mentioned the outbursts are a sign of feeling overwhelmed in situations they are unable to cope. There are strategies you can implement to help them when things are changing or there are upcoming appointments or events.

Social stories can help prepare a child for attending school, visiting family or even visiting the dentist. Knowing these things are coming up can alleviate anxiety.

The Zones of Regulation is a technique you could try. I've included this link for you to read, along with another Zones of Regulation Explanation and Strategies. The idea is based on four colours and every person will move through these colour zones everyday but most can recognise the feelings of sad, (blue) happy (green), worried (yellow), angry/overwhelmed (red). Children with Autism sometimes struggle to recognise these feelings and the techniques provides parents with strategies that can help their child before things escalate.

You mentioned there is some challenging behaviour, so I've included the link to Newbold Hope Yvonne Newbold is a expert in supporting families in this area, so it might worth visiting her website for additional support.

I hope this information helps. But most of all, be kind to yourself. You are doing your very best.

@SaraC_Scope

Doris_Scope

Hi @dumisani

Welcome to the community.

That must be incredibly hard for you. Often aggression can come from lack of understanding or lack of communication skills. Along side emotional regulation as @SaraC_Scope said, this means that it can sometimes be really upsetting and frustrating.

It might be worth looking into visuals to help your son. Sometimes children with autism, struggle with long words or sentences. Using key words only can also often help. Also give him time to process the information. The golden rule is give him as much time as you think he needs to process the key words, then wait another 5 seconds before repeating.

I would also speak to his kindergarten so that you are all working on the same strategies.

I hope this helps.

@Doris_Scope