I'm Struggling

Durhamshire

Thanks to those who have messaged/responded to me. It has helped.

I am not washing or looking after myself at all. I am ashamed at how my life has ended up. Total mess.

I have asked for help more than once and it's practically none existent.

No family or support network. So alone, lonely and vulnerable.

I don't want to exist anymore. Nobody would notice or care if I wasn't around. It would get rid of these awful feelings.

I haven't got the guts to end my life the way I want to. Can't even do that.

From today I won't be eating anything. I will be drinking. I have already lost a lot of weight. I need to lose more so that I can slowly waste away and eventually no longer exist.

It's the only way.

Not a cry for help. Just wanted to let someone know.

I pray for my life to end practically constantly. I hope God forgives me.

Love to You all and thank you.

Durhamshire

My flat is a hovel. My physical health won't improve. My mental health is as low as it has ever been.

I can't go on much longer. The sooner I don't exist the better for all.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @Durhamshire, I'm so sorry to hear things feel so desperate that you're no longer eating or taking care of yourself. We're going to send you an email today so please look out for that.

Please don't feel ashamed about how your life has turned out, it's not easy to stay on top of things when you've got lots going on. You're still a valuable person whatever has happened.

Is there anyone you can reach out to about your mental health? Have you had any support from community mental health or social services at all?

If you'd like to speak to someone to get things off your chest Samaritans are there, and there's Shout too if you don't feel like talking on the phone. I know that doesn't solve the long term problem for you, but they're there if you feel it would be helpful. I hope the community can offer some support and friendship too, so if you just want to talk or rant about anything please do, we're here.

Remember if you feel unsafe at home, you can call 999 or go to A&E.

Doglover2

@Durhamshire You are worth so much. You are important and matter,we all do.! I know how low it gets, I know the struggles and utter hopelessness, but try to do little things to make your hours,your day ,feel that bit better. Should it be colouring in, watching birds outside the window, soak in the bath, a little bit of pampering can go a long way. Please please get help. Talk to someone, rant rave scream but don't bottle it up. There is always someone who will listen ,they may not have all the answers but you'll feel less alone. The world would not be a better place if you weren't here.

Friendships here if you want it. Best wishes and love to you. Take care. X

barkat

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Nightcity

I 'm so sorry to read this.

I'll happily open up so you know you're not alone.

I can relate I try be positive on here and help Many people and genuinely care so much about them.

But the truth is I don't extend the same to* myself. I feel much like yourself I feel ugly useless, worthless and a drain on everyone.

on top of this, I live my life in constant fear of my future, My mum is my world, all I have and my carer/appointee. I am paranoid about losing her (she's a renal patient on dialysis with Atrial fibrillation and osteoporosis) to the point I don't live I exist, all I see ahead is blackness when she's gone and a Life even more screwed than it already is.

I have attempted suicide twice in 1999 and 2005, my chronic clinical depression and anxiety doesn't respond to anything at all. I also have an active escape plan for when I lose mum.

I have been told over the years what a piece of trash I am by my ex (who was abusive but that's not the point) and by ex friends who admitted I'm only good for loans and lolz and am an embarrassment to be around.

anyway, I don't know you but I DO CARE.

I think the world of many on this forum and Hope we can ease your pain somewhat.

weight was an issue for me* too I was 23 stone at one point (now 20 and 2 pounds) Height and large bones offset it a little but I still got called vicious names, not so much now but I hear you.

durhamjaide2001

Hi I'm presuming you live in Durham you might want to look into a service called Wellbeing for Life and they

https://www.wellbeingforlife.net/?#/home

Mental Wellbeing & Resilience

Having good mental wellbeing does not mean that you will never experience negative feelings or situations that you find difficult.

But it does mean that you feel you have the resilience to cope when times are tougher than usual.




It is estimated that 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. If you have such an illness, it’s important to get the right treatment.

However, there’s more to good mental health than avoiding or treating mental illness.

There is also positive mental wellbeing.

We know that not all of us blokes are comfortable talking about our own health and wellbeing (physical or mental), but, doing so shows strength not weakness and is a complete game changer!

By being open, honest and genuine with ourselves regarding our needs means we can live the best life possible, grow and support each other - we're stronger together fellas!

Read our Man Health information leaflet here

We're here to support and empower you to make those positive changes in your life - no matter how daunting it may seem.

Remember that if you need anything you can always reach to us on Scope Communities.